ACQUAINTANCE, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.
Ambrose Bierce
Related Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ... AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ... AMBROSE GWINETT BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima... AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. UNKNOWN Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE To be, or not to be, that is the question. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE 35. God is entitled to a portion of our income—not because He needs it but because we need to give... JAMES C. DOBSON The quest of the Inner Ring will break your hearts unless you break it. But if you break it, a surpr... C.S. LEWIS To be mad is worse than not to be if this is what it is. JOHNNY RICH Do I have the courage of being a ruthless man to myself with the complete knowledge on my manner or ... FEREIDOON YAZDI To be or not to be is not a question of compromise. Either you be or you don't be. GOLDA MEIR Most of us think we're too busy or too important to rest for a day. CRAIG GROESCHEL Hamlet's Cat's Soliloquy "To go outside, and there perchance to stay Or to re... HENRY N. BEARD To be or not to be. That's not really a question. JEAN-LUC GODARD Poor and content is rich, and rich enough; but riches fineless is as poor as winter to him that ever... WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Poor and content is rich, and rich enough;
But riches fineless is as poor as winter
To him tha... WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being. TOM ROBBINS He who knows not when he has enough, is poor. VIKRANT PARSAI When a person has no need to borrow they find multitudes willing to lend. OLIVER GOLDSMITH How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful. EVANS G. VALENS Naturalistic atheism debunks itself. It
has no power to explain even some
of the most basic principl... LEWIS N. ROE The atheist might have
no proof for the
supernatural, but they
also have no proof
against it. If we ... LEWIS N. ROE No man can tell whether he is rich or poor by turning to his ledger. It is the heart that makes a ma... HENRY WARD BEECHER The role of the
Christian is to let other people know what Jesus has done, not to
think of themselve... LEWIS N. ROE It's important to understand that if
someone calls themselves a Christian, it does not automatically... LEWIS N. ROE Love is without a doubt the laziest theory for the meaning of life, but when it actually comes a tim... CRISS JAMI When a man's stomach is full it makes no difference whether he is rich or poor. EURIPIDES Well, well, well I am trap in well, half way to hell. DEYTH BANGER We were not as rich as the Rockefellers or Mellons, but we were rich enough to know how rich they we... LOUIS AUCHINCLOSS Yes! Very funny this terrible thing is. A man that is born falls into a dream like a man who falls i... JOSEPH CONRAD I will never forget the vision of Jamie walking towards me. NICHOLAS SPARKS A Ritual to Read to Each Other If you don’t know the kind of person I am and... WILLIAM STAFFORD Eventually I came across another passage. This is what it said: I am not commanding you, but I ... NICHOLAS SPARKS You don't have to learn much out of books, it's like if you want to learn about cows, you go milk on... HARPER LEE You can't really get to know a person until you get in their shoes and walk around in them. HARPER LEE As these images were going through my head, my breathing suddenly went still. I looked at Jamie, the... NICHOLAS SPARKS To kill a mockingbird. If you haven't read it, I think you should because it is very interesting. STEPHEN CHBOSKY As far back as history records people thinking, thinking people
have been befuddled by the mysteries... LEWIS N. ROE He is rich or poor according to what he is, not according to what he has. HENRY WARD BEECHER It is easy to forget when you borrow money but easy to remember when you lend it. VIKRANT PARSAI No matter how rich a person may be, he is poor to somebody & no matter how poor a person may be, he ... DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) We are far from perfect but willing to be different. CRAIG GROESCHEL No matter how rich a person may be, he is poor to somebody & no matter how poor a person may be, he ... DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Ability doesn't win on the road, toughness does, and we weren't tough enough. We didn't defend the b... GARY HOLQUIST The devil is too poor!_ he isn't rich enough to satisfy our desires. KIMTO OCHE EMMANUEL The devil is too poor!_ he isn't rich enough to satisfy our desires. KIMTO OCHE EMMANUEL A lot of reality shows tend to harp on the negative. The person isn't pretty enough or can't... BRUCE NASH When a man's stomach is full it makes no difference whether he is rich or poor. EURIPIDES No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ... H. P. LOVECRAFT Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is nev... A WALK TO REMEMBER Being free is not being powerful or rich or well regarded or without obligations but being able to l... JEANETTE WINTERSON Human nature doesn't change. When enough people are comfortable enough financially, there is goi... DANNY MEYER This is the best world, that we live in,
To lend and to spend and to give in:
But to borrow, o... UNATTRIBUTED AUTHOR The worth of a rich and/or famous personality’s QUOTE is just the value that it fetches through LI... ANUJ SOMANY I had come to see that the great tragedy in the church is not that rich Christians do not care about... SHANE CLAIBORNE Honest criticism is hard to take - especially when it comes from a relative, a friend, an acquaint... FRANKLIN JONES The typical rock fan is not smart enough to know when he is being dumped on FRANK ZAPPA Lᴏᴠᴇ ɪs ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴᴅ ... Yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ sᴇᴇ ɪᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏ... NICHOLAS SPARKS She filed the image away as an excellent and insulting question to ask the earl at an utterly inappr... GAIL CARRIGER It is not enough just to wish well; we must also do well. SAINT AMBROSE Next generations will not know what is to have childhood. DANIEL MELGAçO I shall be well enough when I get to Kentucky or Alabama. The tonic I need is the tonic of oppositio... DOROTHEA DIX Friendship is not possible between two women, one of whom is very well dressed. LAURIE COLWIN Sheep don’t need the shepherd to be what they are. The shepherd needs sheep to be what he is. LJUPKA CVETANOVA To be rich is important, but to be rich when you are poor is very important. VIKRANT PARSAI If music were to be a person he would have been the best person ever to live,for it never discrimina... DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) If music were to be a person he would have been the best person ever to live,for it never discrimina... DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) PEACE IS THE OBJECTIVE TO WAR, BUT THE BLOOD RUNNETH STILL NATALIE URQUIETA I'm not strong-willed enough or unkind enough... or maybe simply not wise enough to tell a journ... JAMES NESBITT When you are fitted in a racing car and you race to win, second or third place is not enough. AYRTON SENNA He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough. LAO TZU QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh... AMBROSE BIERCE I WANT A friend called Penelope. When I know her well enough, I’ll ask her why she doesn’t rhyme... CAITRIONA LALLY Our most intimate friend is not he to whom we show the worst, but the best of our nature. NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE There comes a point in every man's life when he has to say: 'Enough is enough.' LANCE ARMSTRONG I'm thankful enough or blessed enough to be able to say that Miles Davis was a friend when he wa... PRINCE A person who is physically rich,but mentally poor is temporarily rich, but a person who is physicall... DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) The only sure bulwark of continuing liberty is a government strong enough to protect the interests o... FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT Those who know when they have enough are rich. NELINA JUNE ORBE RILLOMA When he's not playing polo or sleeping, he is concentrating on getting well-mounted and staying well... JIMMY NEWMAN To know you have enough is to be rich. TAO TE CHING The scientific method gives us
information by testing and repeating observable things so that we
can... LEWIS N. ROE Marriage is a coming together for better or for worse, hopefully enduring, and intimate to the degre... WILLIAM ORVILLE DOUGLAS Marriage is a coming together for better or for worse, hopefully enduring, and intimate to the degre... WILLIAM O. DOUGLAS The claim to know that no god exists is just irrational. The non-existence of any god has no evidenc... LEWIS N. ROE I think each village was meant to feel pity for its own sick and poor whom it can help and I doubt i... C.S. LEWIS Its easy to have principles when you're rich. The important thing is to have principles when you're ... RAY KROC The scientific method gives us
information by testing and repeating observable things so that we
can... LEWIS N. ROE Science is what we understand well enough to explain to a computer; art is everything else. DONALD ERVIN KNUTH I was feeling well enough to eat the pears. LIZZIE ANDREW BORDEN A person who is physically poor but mentally rich is far greater than a person who is mentally poor ... DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Every man thinketh he is rich enough in grace, till he take out his purse, and... then he findeth it... SAMUEL RUTHERFORD To call me a 'boy' several times to my face, he might as well have called me a 'n*****'. VIC MONTGOMERY We're seeing a minor technical rebound after Wall Street rebounded from two days of losses. The key ... ANDREW TO We are afraid that our freedoms and liberties will be infringed in the future. ANDREW TO I know that David Tennant's Hamlet isn't till July. And lots of people are going to be doing Dr Who ... NEIL GAIMAN Whether you say that a god does exist, or that none do, it is a claim
to know (or at least believe i... LEWIS N. ROE
More Ambrose Bierce
WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous oc... AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. AMBROSE BIERCE RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue. AMBROSE BIERCE FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and s... AMBROSE BIERCE ... the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his coun... AMBROSE BIERCE Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfort... AMBROSE BIERCE The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge. AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable. AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success. AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up. AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ... AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th... AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity. AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward. AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ... AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un... AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result. AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue. AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy. AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti... AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state. AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k... AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip. AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis... AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me! AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso... AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be. AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte... AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o... AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in... AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie... AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m... AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed. AMBROSE BIERCE Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginar... AMBROSE BIERCE Faith, noun. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things ... AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understa... AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness, noun. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another. AMBROSE BIERCE History, n. An account mostly false, of events unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly... AMBROSE BIERCE Dentist, n.: A Prestidigitator who, putting metal in one's mouth, pulls coins out of one's pockets. AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. AMBROSE BIERCE Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability. AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism, n. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence. AMBROSE BIERCE INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction. AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone. AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b... AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab... AMBROSE BIERCE Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreea... AMBROSE BIERCE I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it ... AMBROSE BIERCE PREDICAMENT, n. The wage of consistency. AMBROSE BIERCE ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions. Having received an ultima... AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country. AMBROSE BIERCE PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and im... AMBROSE BIERCE Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling AMBROSE BIERCE Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum - I think that I think, therefore I think that I am. AMBROSE BIERCE CREMONA, n. A high-priced violin made in Connecticut. AMBROSE BIERCE PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it. AMBROSE BIERCE BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable fo... AMBROSE BIERCE A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothi... AMBROSE BIERCE PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. Formerly these disputes were settled by ... AMBROSE BIERCE BAAL, n. An old deity formerly much worshiped under various names. As Baal he was popular with the P... AMBROSE BIERCE CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum, _Cogit... AMBROSE BIERCE MEEKNESS, n. Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while. M is for Moses,... AMBROSE BIERCE TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally. AMBROSE BIERCE TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word... AMBROSE BIERCE MOLECULE, n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also ... AMBROSE BIERCE FEAST, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, freque... AMBROSE BIERCE Vote: The instrument and symbol of a free man's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his c... AMBROSE BIERCE LOQUACITY, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk. AMBROSE BIERCE In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to t... AMBROSE BIERCE Advice is the smallest current coin. AMBROSE BIERCE SOPHISTRY, n. The controversial method of an opponent, distinguished from one's own by superior insi... AMBROSE BIERCE ALDERMAN, n. An ingenious criminal who covers his secret thieving with a pretence of open marauding. AMBROSE BIERCE Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confesse... AMBROSE BIERCE WEATHER, n. The climate of the hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does no... AMBROSE BIERCE INDECISION, n. The chief element of success; "for whereas," saith Sir Thomas Brewbold, "there is but... AMBROSE BIERCE LEONINE, adj. Unlike a menagerie lion. Leonine verses are those in which a word in the middle of a l... AMBROSE BIERCE PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction --prototype of the modern newspa... AMBROSE BIERCE APPLAUSE, n. The echo of a platitude. AMBROSE BIERCE WORSHIP, n. Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A po... AMBROSE BIERCE MISERICORDE, n. A dagger which in mediaeval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an unhors... AMBROSE BIERCE ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice. AMBROSE BIERCE ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . . AMBROSE BIERCE ENCOMIAST, n. A special (but not particular) kind of liar. AMBROSE BIERCE TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word... AMBROSE BIERCE DEGENERATE, adj. Less conspicuously admirable than one's ancestors. The contemporaries of Homer were... AMBROSE BIERCE ALIEN, n. An American sovereign in his probationary state. AMBROSE BIERCE ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear. In Virginia City, Nevada, he is called the Was... AMBROSE BIERCE PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable ac... AMBROSE BIERCE APPETITE, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question. AMBROSE BIERCE CAABA, n. A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved a... AMBROSE BIERCE ADOLESCENCE The stage between puberty and adultery. AMBROSE BIERCE CREMONA, n. A high-priced violin made in Connecticut. AMBROSE BIERCE ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about ... AMBROSE BIERCE REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape pain... AMBROSE BIERCE BAAL, n. An old deity formerly much worshiped under various names. As Baal he was popular with the P... AMBROSE BIERCE HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads. AMBROSE BIERCE FREEDOM, n. Exemption from the stress of authority in a beggarly half dozen of restraint's infinite ... AMBROSE BIERCE MEEKNESS, n. Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.M is for Moses, Who slew th... AMBROSE BIERCE WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ'... AMBROSE BIERCE FRIENDLESS, adj. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth an... AMBROSE BIERCE CONSULT, v.i. To seek another's disapproval of a course already decided on. AMBROSE BIERCE PREDICAMENT, n. The wage of consistency. AMBROSE BIERCE BASILISK, n. The cockatrice. A sort of serpent hatched form the egg of a cock. The basilisk had a ba... AMBROSE BIERCE Strike while your employer has a big contract. AMBROSE BIERCE EDITOR, n. A person who combines the judicial functions of Minos, Rhadamanthus and Aeacus, but is pl... AMBROSE BIERCE COMMONWEALTH, n. An administrative entity operated by an incalculable multitude of political parasit... AMBROSE BIERCE ERUDITION, n. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.So wide his erudition's mighty span, He ... AMBROSE BIERCE PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and im... AMBROSE BIERCE POSTERITY, n. An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, t... AMBROSE BIERCE ICONOCLAST, n. A breaker of idols, the worshipers whereof are imperfectly gratified by the performan... AMBROSE BIERCE FELON, n. A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed... AMBROSE BIERCE IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors. AMBROSE BIERCE DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.A leaf was ri... AMBROSE BIERCE DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evol... AMBROSE BIERCE CONVERSATION, n. A fair to the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too int... AMBROSE BIERCE Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen. AMBROSE BIERCE PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. ... AMBROSE BIERCE ARCHBISHOP, n. An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.If I were a jolly archbish... AMBROSE BIERCE SCEPTER, n. A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace... AMBROSE BIERCE BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters --the most difficult kind of English verse to write acce... AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility. AMBROSE BIERCE DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more object... AMBROSE BIERCE NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and... AMBROSE BIERCE USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Convention... AMBROSE BIERCE SENATE, n. A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors. AMBROSE BIERCE RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate t... AMBROSE BIERCE HUMANITY, n. The human race, collectively, exclusive of the anthropoid poets. AMBROSE BIERCE There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy. AMBROSE BIERCE MILLENNIUM, n. The period of a thousand years when the lid is to be screwed down, with all reformers... AMBROSE BIERCE Christian: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to t... AMBROSE BIERCE OPTIMIST, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white. A pessimist applied to God for relief.... AMBROSE BIERCE OPTIMIST, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white. A pessimist applied to God for relief. AMBROSE BIERCE Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one ... AMBROSE BIERCE Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, c... AMBROSE BIERCE In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary, patriotism is defined as the last refuge of a scoundrel. With a... AMBROSE BIERCE LAZINESS, n. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree. AMBROSE BIERCE PEDIGREE, n. The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban d... AMBROSE BIERCE ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for... AMBROSE BIERCE EMBALM, v.i. To cheat vegetation by locking up the gases upon which it feeds. By embalming their dea... AMBROSE BIERCE SERIAL, n. A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a n... AMBROSE BIERCE PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovide... AMBROSE BIERCE BOUNTY, n. The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he ... AMBROSE BIERCE EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state. AMBROSE BIERCE ROBBER, n. A candid man of affairs. It is related of Voltaire that one night he and some traveling c... AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. AMBROSE BIERCE LUNARIAN, n. An inhabitant of the moon, as distinguished from Lunatic, one whom the moon inhabits. T... AMBROSE BIERCE WINE, n. Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum."... AMBROSE BIERCE QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own... AMBROSE BIERCE Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property su... AMBROSE BIERCE ARRAYED, pp. Drawn up and given an orderly disposition, as a rioter hanged to a lamppost. AMBROSE BIERCE PREDILECTION, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion. AMBROSE BIERCE Pitted against hard drinking Christians the abstemious Mahometans go down like grass before the scyt... AMBROSE BIERCE Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE Opportunity is a favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment. AMBROSE BIERCE UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility. AMBROSE BIERCE From the vast, invisible ocean of moonlight overhead fell, here and here, a slender, broken stream t... AMBROSE BIERCE He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps. AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi... AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on. AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid. AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity. AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on. AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery. AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white. AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw. AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense. AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give... AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien... AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart. AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors. AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom... AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o... AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead. AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So... AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE