And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Monty Python
Related For then shalt thou lift up thy face without spot; yea, thou
shalt be stedfast, and shalt not fear:... BIBLE Only thy holy things which thou hast, and thy vows, thou shalt take, and go unto the place which the... BIBLE Thou shalt eat, but not be satisfied; and thy casting down shall be in the midst of thee; and thou s... BIBLE When thou goest, thy steps shall not be straitened; and when thou runnest, thou shalt not stumble. BIBLE When thou goest, thy steps shall not be straitened; and when thou runnest, thou shalt not stumble. BIBLE Then shalt thou walk in thy way safely, and thy foot shall not stumble. BIBLE For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. BIBLE And every oblation of thy meat offering shalt thou season with salt; neither shalt thou suffer the s... BIBLE Likewise shalt thou do with thine oxen, and with thy sheep: seven days it shall be with his dam; on ... BIBLE The LORD shall bring thee, and thy king which thou shalt set over thee, unto a nation which neither ... BIBLE And every firstling of an ass thou shalt redeem with a lamb; and if thou wilt not redeem it, then th... BIBLE For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not ... BIBLE Six years thou shalt sow thy field, and six years thou shalt prune thy vineyard, and gather in the f... BIBLE Hitherto shalt thou come, but no further; and here shall thy proud waves be stayed. BIBLE Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not ... BIBLE Thou shalt also take thereof a few in number, and bind them in thy skirts. BIBLE Yea, the Almighty shall be thy defence, and thou shalt have plenty of silver. BIBLE He said not 'Thou shalt not be tempested, thou shalt not be travailed, thou shalt not be dis-eased';... JULIAN OF NORWICH And if thou sell ought unto thy neighbour, or buyest ought of thy neighbour's hand, ye shall not opp... BIBLE When thou gatherest the grapes of thy vineyard, thou shalt not glean it afterward: it shall be for t... BIBLE And hast thou not there with thee Zadok and Abiathar the priests? therefore it shall be, that what t... BIBLE Thou shalt not steal. I mean defensively. On offense, indeed thou shall steal and thou must. BRANCH RICKEY In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return
unto the ground; for out of it wast... BIBLE He saith unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou ... BIBLE He said not 'Thou shalt not be tempested, thou shalt not be travailed, thou shalt not be dis-eased';... JULIAN OF NORWICH Take thou also unto thee wheat, and barley, and beans, and lentiles, and millet, and fitches, and pu... BIBLE Thou shalt make thee fringes upon the four quarters of thy vesture, wherewith thou coverest thyself. BIBLE And thou shalt go to thy fathers in peace; thou shalt be buried
in a good old age. BIBLE Freedom of speech is useless without freedom of thought. And I fear that the politics of protest is ... SPIRO T. AGNEW If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: but if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it. BIBLE Buy what thou hast no need of and ere long thou shalt sell thy necessities. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN Buy what thou hast no need of and ere long thou shalt sell thy necessaries BENJAMIN FRANKLIN Feast of Juliana of Norwich, Mystic, Teacher, c.1417 He said not Thou shalt not be tempested, th... JULIANA OF NORWICH And when ye reap the harvest of your land, thou shalt not make clean riddance of the corners of thy ... BIBLE And thou shalt take this rod in thine hand, wherewith thou shalt do signs. BIBLE Nevertheless thou shalt not build the house; but thy son that shall come forth out of thy loins, he ... BIBLE Ye shall defile also the covering of thy graven images of silver, and the ornament of thy molten ima... BIBLE Seven days thou shalt make an atonement for the altar, and sanctify it; and it shall be an altar mos... BIBLE And thou shalt take the breast of the ram of Aaron's consecration, and wave it for a wave offering b... BIBLE And thou shalt sanctify them, that they may be most holy: whatsoever toucheth them shall be holy. BIBLE Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystande... KEN WYTSMA They shall perish, but thou shalt endure: yea, all of them shall wax old like a garment; as a vestur... BIBLE And thou shalt take thine inheritance in thyself in the sight of the heathen, and thou shalt know th... BIBLE Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any like... BIBLE Thou shalt not be a victim, thou shalt not be a perpetrator, but, above all, thou shalt not be a bys... YEHUDA BAUER Confront Thy Fear Once, And Thou Shalt Be Afraid No More. SAHIL KARANJE And thou shalt embroider the coat of fine linen, and thou shalt make the mitre of fine linen, and th... BIBLE Both thy bondmen, and thy bondmaids, which thou shalt have, shall be of the heathen that are round a... BIBLE Neither shalt thou bring an abomination into thine house, lest thou be a cursed thing like it: but t... BIBLE But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat it; for in the day that thou e... ANONYMOUS Thou shalt go thou shalt return never in battle shalt thou
perish.
[Lat., Ibis redibis non morier... ORACLE Thou shalt not sow thy vineyard with divers seeds: lest the fruit of thy seed which thou hast sown, ... BIBLE To many thou shalt give the more inheritance, and to few thou shalt give the less inheritance: to ev... BIBLE But if thou shalt forbear to vow, it shall be no sin in thee. BIBLE Thou shalt hide them in the secret of thy presence from the pride
of man: thou shalt keep them sec... BIBLE Thou shalt eat no leavened bread with it; seven days shalt thou eat unleavened bread therewith, even... BIBLE Thou shalt not see thy brother's ox or his sheep go astray, and hide thyself from them: thou shalt i... BIBLE Thou shalt sow, but thou shalt not reap; thou shalt tread the olives, but thou shalt not anoint thee... BIBLE Thou shalt keep the feast of unleavened bread: (thou shalt eat unleavened bread seven days, as I com... BIBLE When thou comest into the standing corn of thy neighbour, then thou mayest pluck the ears with thine... BIBLE That which is gone out of thy lips thou shalt keep and perform; even a freewill offering, according ... BIBLE And he said, Thou shalt no more rejoice, O thou oppressed virgin, daughter of Zidon: arise, pass ove... BIBLE In all thy undertakings, let a reasonable assurance animate thy endeavors; if thou despairest of suc... AKHENATON In one house shall it be eaten; thou shalt not carry forth ought of the flesh abroad out of the hous... BIBLE Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces. TERRY PRATCHETT Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black. BIBLE They shall be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house; and thou shalt make them drink of ... BIBLE Thou mayest not eat within thy gates the tithe of thy corn, or of thy wine, or of thy oil, or the fi... BIBLE For this, be sure, tonight thou shalt have cramps, side-stitches that shall pen thy breath up WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Thou shalt also decree a thing, and it shall be established unto thee: and the light shall shine upo... BIBLE Therefore shalt thou make them turn their back, when thou shalt make ready thine arrows upon thy str... BIBLE Go up into Gilead, and take balm, O virgin, the daughter of Egypt: in vain shalt thou use many medic... BIBLE Have more than thou showest,
Speak less than thou knowest,
Lend less than thou owest,
Ri... WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father's sister: she is thy father's near kinswoman. BIBLE Thou shalt daily prepare a burnt offering unto the LORD of a lamb of the first year without blemish:... BIBLE The nakedness of thy father's wife shalt thou not uncover: it is thy father's nakedness. BIBLE Woe to thee that spoilest, and thou wast not spoiled; and dealest treacherously, and they dealt not ... BIBLE Thou shalt not defraud thy neighbour, neither rob him: the wages of him that is hired shall not abid... BIBLE Woe to thee that spoilest, and thou wast not spoiled; and dealest treacherously, and they dealt not ... BIBLE Whatsoever thou takest in hand, remember the end, and thou shalt
never do amiss. BIBLE Beginning a short series on prayer: Wherever... thou shalt be, pray secretly within thyself. If th... BERNARD OF CLAIRVAUX Go up into Gilead, and take balm, O virgin, the daughter of Egypt: in vain shalt thou use many medic... BIBLE Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under fee... BIBLE We have made thee neither of heaven nor of earth,Neither mortal or immortal, So that with freedom of... GIOVANNI PICO DELLA MIRANDOLA Whatsoever thou takest in hand, remember the end, and thou shalt never do amiss APOCRYPHA Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. Roman 13:9 BIBLE Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under fee... BIBLE One short sleep past, we wake eternally, / And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die. JOHN DONNE In like manner shalt thou do with his ass; and so shalt thou do with his raiment; and with all lost ... BIBLE If thou dost marry, I'll give thee this plague for thy dowry: be
thou as chaste as ice, as pure as ... WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Thou shalt not give birth reluctantly. OTTO RANK Thou shalt speak all that I command thee: and Aaron thy brother shall speak unto Pharaoh, that he se... BIBLE When thou dost lend thy brother any thing, thou shalt not go into his house to fetch his pledge. BIBLE For dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. BIBLE I have ten commandments. The first nine are, thou shalt not bore. The tenth is, thou shalt have righ... BILLY WILDER TITANIA Out of this wood do not desire to go; Thou shalt remain here whether thou wilt or no. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Now therefore command thou that they hew me cedar trees out of Lebanon; and my servants shall be wit... BIBLE for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return PHILIP PULLMAN Thou shalt not stir one foot to seek a foe. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE And the LORD spake unto Moses in the wilderness of Sinai, saying, / Number the children of Levi afte... BIBLE
More Monty Python
“I’ll tell you what’s wrong with you… your heads addled with novels and poems. You come home... MONTY PYTHON NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and ... MONTY PYTHON Dinsdale, He was a nice boy...... He nailed my head to a coffee table. MONTY PYTHON We are no longer the knights who say ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-b... MONTY PYTHON Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! MONTY PYTHON “Ah, Mr Anchovy! Do sit down.” “Thank you. Take the weight off the feet, eh? Lovely weather fo... MONTY PYTHON “This morning, shortly after 11 o’clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibbley road. Sudden... MONTY PYTHON Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. MONTY PYTHON He must be a king.Why?He hasn't got shit all over him. MONTY PYTHON He's not pining, he's passed on. This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone ... MONTY PYTHON Yes. Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Rogerthe Shrubber. I arrange, design, and... MONTY PYTHON -She turned me into a newt! -A newt?-I got better... MONTY PYTHON Well she turned me into a newt!""A newt?""I got better... MONTY PYTHON Always look on the bright side of life. MONTY PYTHON What? Ridden on a horse?''Yes''You're using coconuts!''What?''You've got two empty halves of coconut... MONTY PYTHON Tonight, instead of discussing the existence or non- existence of God, they have decided to fight fo... MONTY PYTHON Vikings? There ain’t no vikings here. Just us honest farmers. The town was burning, the villagers ... MONTY PYTHON First you must find... another shrubbery! (dramatic chord) Then, when you have found the shrubbery, ... MONTY PYTHON He's not the Messiah - he's a very naughty boy. MONTY PYTHON It was a fantastic success. Over 60 000 times more powerful than Britains great pre-war joke, an... MONTY PYTHON I don't think there's a punch-line scheduled, is there? MONTY PYTHON No it can't! An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition. MONTY PYTHON The Castle Aaahhhgggg - our quest is at an end. MONTY PYTHON No it can't! An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition. MONTY PYTHON The Castle Aaahhhgggg - our quest is at an end. MONTY PYTHON Honesty, simplicity and truth are the secret to his comedy, MONTY PYTHON Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed! MONTY PYTHON Jesus did. I was hopping along, when suddenly he comes and cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a t... MONTY PYTHON Ximinez: Now, old woman -- you are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by... MONTY PYTHON I wanted to be... A LUMBERJACK! MONTY PYTHON Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer u... MONTY PYTHON It's funny, isn't it? How your best friend can just blow up like that? MONTY PYTHON Tis but a scratch''A scratch?! Your arm's off!''No, it isn't. MONTY PYTHON I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general... MONTY PYTHON Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition! MONTY PYTHON “Hampstead wasn’t good enough for you was it? You had to go poncing off to Barnsley. You and you... MONTY PYTHON There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not MONTY PYTHON Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? MONTY PYTHON The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. MONTY PYTHON He's not pining, he's passed on. This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone ... MONTY PYTHON We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked. MONTY PYTHON 'What? Ridden on a horse?' 'Yes' 'You're using coconuts!' 'What?' 'You've got two em... MONTY PYTHON You don't like her??? She's beautiful and rich... and got huge...... tracks of land! MONTY PYTHON Of course, it’s a bit of a jump, isn’t it? I mean, er… chartered accountancy to lion taming in... MONTY PYTHON Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Oth... MONTY PYTHON Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out ... MONTY PYTHON This is a dead parrot! MONTY PYTHON My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white MONTY PYTHON I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that a... MONTY PYTHON “It was a fantastic success. Over 60 000 times more powerful than Britain’s great pre-war joke, ... MONTY PYTHON Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestl... MONTY PYTHON And now for something completely different. MONTY PYTHON Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean? MONTY PYTHON It was gut wrenching, ... To come into our house as a 2-1 team and to lose to Diego the way we did, ... MONTY BEISEL Of course when I got to be a star on "Let's Make a Deal," I started getting 20 calls a week. I would... MONTY HALL We shot ourselves in the foot with some opportunities more or less the whole game. MONTY LEWIS He's everything we need. He doesn't have gaudy numbers, but his only focus is on being the best quar... MONTY LEWIS I have heard of juror disobedience. MONTY HORMEL The crowd chant his name when he comes on to bowl, when he gets on the team bus there are big cheers... MONTY PANESAR The expectation was that the only problem with people on welfare was that they didn't have a job. Wh... MONTY MARTIN Scott Oakes thinks he's solely responsible for our losing, and he's not. MONTY LEWIS It was gut wrenching. To come into our house as a 2-1 team and to lose to Diego the way we did, I me... MONTY BEISEL That was a heck of a run. MONTY STUMBAUGH The thing that Rodney does best is he sets the tempo for the way things are done around here. He's a... MONTY BEISEL You're cannon fodder unless you move the ball laterally on these wickets, but we utilized the ball a... MONTY PANESAR Last year was the first year for the show at Bradley Square Mall and it went over really well. The t... MONTY MORROW I can't believe that. Let us win that first game and then we'll talk. MONTY LEWIS We finally got some asphalt last week. I think the potholes have been patched so far. But it's still... MONTY JACKSON Kansas City wanted me back. I also visited Green Bay and Pittsburgh. But I just felt the opportunity... MONTY BEISEL Just from a pure motivation standpoint and the way he gets out there and plays the game it's uplifti... MONTY BEISEL If you act like you've only got fifteen minutes, it will take all day. Act like you've got all day, ... MONTY ROBERTS When the season winds up there is a big sigh of relief, but it doesn't take much of the three months... MONTY MORROW It was my first experience playing with him - and playing with my other team-mates. It was great to ... MONTY PANESAR It doesn?t get any easier all year in the return game. Once they see that early in the year, they?re... MONTY BEISEL I'd like to ask if we can obtain copies of what their needs were then. I'm hoping we will renew that... MONTY SALYER Modern life is, for most of us, a kind of serfdom to mortgage, job and the constant assault to consu... MONTY DON I had been riding horses before my memory kicked in, so my life with horses had no beginning. It sim... MONTY ROBERTS Our defense really came together in that KW game. On both sides of the ball, our line has gotten so ... MONTY LEWIS I've had it. I did 4,700 episodes. Isn't that enough? MONTY HALL It took us four to five years to build a championship (at Southwestern). I think we've been making s... MONTY LEWIS I will say, incidentally, he was wide open and might have scored. There wasn't anybody around him. T... MONTY LEWIS As I got more successful, I felt it was more incumbent upon me to help the other people. I did more ... MONTY HALL The number of driveways is limited based upon the spacing as they front onto the county roadways. To... MONTY STANSBURY This season has really gotten off to a good start. The Cleveland Speedway fans and competitors have ... MONTY MORROW We are losing chairs on almost a daily basis. MONTY STANSBURY We are trying to avoid that. This chair will accommodate a broad range of employees. MONTY STANSBURY It was gut wrenching. To come into our house as a 2-1 team and to lose to Diego the way we did, I me... MONTY BEISEL It was gut wrenching, ... To come into our house as a 2-1 team and to lose to Diego the way we did, ... MONTY BEISEL Actually, I'm an overnight success, but it took twenty years. MONTY HALL The union was aware of the changing business environment even prior to negotiations. MONTY VEST They feel like it was the first time they had a real vote on this issue. MONTY SALYER I've had it. I did 4,700 episodes. Isn't that enough? MONTY HALL