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Christ, back in Chicago, we don’t make bicycles any more. It’s all
human relations now. The eggheads sit around trying to figure out new
ways for everybody to be happy. Nobody can get fired, no matter what;
and if somebody does accidentally make a bicycle, the union accuses
us of cruel and inhuman practices and the government confiscates the
bicycle for back taxes and gives it to a blind man in Afghanistan.”
“And you think things will be better in San Lorenzo?”
“I know damn well they will be. The people down there are poor
enough and scared enough and ignorant enough to have some
common sense!


Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

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There is no way a beautiful woman can live up to what she looks like for an appreciable length of ti...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thin...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
I think that novels that leave out technology misrepresent life as badly as Victorians misrepresente...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.
KURT VONNEGUT, JR.
I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the ki...
KURT VONNEGUT, JR.
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion . . . . I myself prefer to laugh...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
It posed the question posed by all such stone piles: how had puny men moved stones so big? And, like...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Almost every war ends, properly, with its veterans feeling deceived and pointless and gullible, with...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
We would be a lot safer if the Government would take its money out of science and put it into astrol...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
I am of course a skeptic about the divinity of Christ and a scorner of the notion that there is a Go...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Suicide is the punctuation mark at the end of many artistic careers
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Unexpected travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
So it goes.
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
We would be a lot safer if the Government would take its money out of science and put it into astrol...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Unexpected travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
The feeling about a soldier is, when all is said and done, he wasn't really going to do very much wi...
KURT VONNEGUT, JR.
And Lot's wife, of course, was told not to look back where all those people and their homes had been...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes (Matthew 5). But, o...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
If you want to really hurt you parents, and you don't have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remed...
KURT VONNEGUT, JR.
What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thin...
KURT VONNEGUT, JR.
People don't come to church for preachments, of course, but to daydream about God.
KURT VONNEGUT, JR.
If you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances
KURT VONNEGUT, JR.
I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.
KURT VONNEGUT, JR.
I still believe that peace and plenty and happiness can be worked out some way. I am a fool.
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion . . . . I myself prefer to lau...
KURT VONNEGUT, JR.
.The insane, on occasion, are not without their charms
KURT VONNEGUT, JR.
Plato says that the unexamined life is not worth living. But what if the examined life turns out to ...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
America is the wealthiest nation on Earth, but its people are mainly poor, and poor Americans are ur...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
There is love enough in this world for everybody, if people will just look.
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilitie...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Well, to admire the hell out of Jesus Christ or of everyone who speaks well. And, well my grandfathe...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Almost every war ends, properly, with its veterans feeling deceived and pointless and gullible, with...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
I am of course a skeptic about the divinity of Christ and a scorner of the notion that there is a Go...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Suicide is the punctuation mark at the end of many artistic careers
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Books won't stay banned. They won't burn. Ideas won't go to jail. In the long run of history, the ce...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Don’t give up on books. They feel so good—their friendly heft. The sweet reluctance of their pag...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
So I am about to be a free man again, to wander where I please.
I find the prospect nauseating....
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
What can any one person do?' he said.
'Each person does a little something,' I said, 'and there...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
People should be changed by world wars," I said, "else what are world wars for?
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
...this is a hard world to be ludicrous in, with so many human beings so reluctant to laugh, so inca...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
If there really had been a Mercutio, and if there really were a Paradise, Mercutio might be hanging ...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
So it goes.
KURT VONNEGUT, JR.
We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.
KURT VONNEGUT, JR.
If somebody says, ''I love you,'' to me, I feel as though I had a pistol pointed at my head. What ca...
KURT VONNEGUT, JR.
Being American is to eat a lot of beef steak, and boy, we've got a lot more beef steak than any othe...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Well, to admire the hell out of Jesus Christ or of everyone who speaks well. And, well my grandfathe...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
It goes against the American storytelling grain to have someone in a situation he can't get out of, ...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
There's only one me, and I'm stuck with him.
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Just because some of us can read and write and do a little math, that doesn't mean we deserve to con...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
We are all what we pretend to be, but, we had better be very careful what we pretend.
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Find a subject you care about and which you feel others should care about. It is this genuine caring...
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Make love when you can. It's good for you.
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
What is my definition of jazz? 'Safe sex of the highest order.
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
Being American is to eat a lot of beef steak, and boy, we've got a lot more beef steak than any othe...
KURT VONNEGUT, JR.
When I'm being funny, I try not to offend. I don't think much of what I've done has been...
KURT VONNEGUT
If you appear in the 'Atlantic' or 'Harper's' or the 'New Yorker,' by Go...
KURT VONNEGUT
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since...
KURT VONNEGUT
There's only one me, and I'm stuck with him.
KURT VONNEGUT
I have been a soreheaded occupant of a file drawer labeled Science Fiction and I would like out, par...
KURT VONNEGUT
Life happens too fast for you ever to think about it. If you could just persuade people of this, but...
KURT VONNEGUT
If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.
KURT VONNEGUT
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than befo...
KURT VONNEGUT
I say in speeches that a plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at le...
KURT VONNEGUT
How nice--to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.
KURT VONNEGUT
I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the ki...
KURT VONNEGUT
I let the dog out, or I let him in, and we talk some. I let him know I like him, and he lets me know...
KURT VONNEGUT
Thinking doesn't seem to help very much. The human brain is too high-powered to have many practical ...
KURT VONNEGUT
People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll h...
KURT VONNEGUT
I think a lot of people, including me, clammed up when a civilian asked about battle, about war. It ...
KURT VONNEGUT
The sun had just gone down, and its afterglow was backlighting the city, which formed low cliffs aro...
KURT VONNEGUT
Here is the solution to the American drug problem suggested a couple years back by the wife of our P...
KURT VONNEGUT
I asked this heroic pet lover how it felt to have died for a schnauzer named Teddy. Salvador Biagian...
KURT VONNEGUT
Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my ho...
KURT VONNEGUT
The human beings also passed canteens, which guards would fill with water. When food came in, the hu...
KURT VONNEGUT