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Father said I have no sense of humor at all. He said I was unequipped to meet life because I have no sense of humor.


J.D. Salinger

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He said I was unequipped to meet life because I had no sense of humor.
J.D. SALINGER
I have no sense of humor about losing
RAFAEL NADAL
I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor.
EDWARD ALBEE
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
MAHATMA GANDHI
Jazz can be so serious, no sense of humor.
CHAD SMITH
Charlie Chaplin's genius was in comedy. He has no sense of humor, particularly about himself.
LITA GREY CHAPLIN
I think the scariest person in the world is the person with no sense of humor.
MICHAEL J. FOX
Irritatingly angry people have no sense of humor when wearing their “angry pants.
CATHY BURNHAM MARTIN
I often have said that to be a college president, you need a thick skin, a good sense of humor, and ...
GORDON GEE
What we're doing is fun - if you have any sense of humor at all!
CALVIN KLEIN
I cannot put into words how happy I was to have had the opportunity to be around him as much as I wa...
OSSIE DAVIS
You have to have a sense of humor about life to get through it.
KESHA
There," Zoë suggested."By the Embarcadero Building."
"Good thinking," Chuck said. "Me and Han...
RICK RIORDAN
I was kidding. Even I'm not that promiscuous. You guru people have no sense of humor.”

...
SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor i...
LYN KAROL
I can't live without a sense of humor. I need to be laughing and entertained at all times.
CARLOS PONCE
I think J.D. Salinger is correct in granting no interviews, and in making no speeches.
PATRICIA HIGHSMITH
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor i...
WILLIAM JAMES
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor i...
CLIVE JAMES
He had an incredible sense of humor.
DIANE GOLDEN
Keep your sense of humor. As General Joe Stillwell said, "The higher a monkey climbs, the more you s...
DONALD RUMSFELD
I won't bring anybody into the field who doesn't have a sense of humor.
DR. JANINE CAIRA
I don't have a very quick sense of humor.
FLORENZ ZIEGFELD
How could you not? I do have a sense of humor.
HEIDI PRESCOTT
I have a sense of humor, and sometimes it gets me into trouble.
DUNCAN JONES
If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke.
GREGORY DAVID ROBERTS
that I am equipped with what other people have called a fiendish sense of humor.
ALFRED HITCHCOCK
We definitely have our own sense of humor.
GABRIEL ELIZONDO
I don't have a caustic sense of humor. What I find funny, that humor comes from a much gentler p...
VERA FARMIGA
Perhaps the ocean doesn't have a sense of humor?
YULIYA GALLIMORE
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
LARRY GELBART
He was a good guy. He was very good at what he did. He had a good sense of humor.
JEFFREY SKILLING
If I ever have sex with someone I might be able to develop a sense of humor.
KATE BECKINSALE
Do feminists have a sense of humor? Yes.
GLORIA ALLRED
We are all different and we all have a different sense of humor.
JOHN PATRICK HICKEY
then he needs to get his sense of humor checked.
TERRELL OWENS
He was just trying to tease me - I knew that later - but he said he'd have to leave because it w...
FAY WRAY
Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny ...
WAVY GRAVY
No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humor.
SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE
Happiness for the average person may be said to flow largely from common sense -- adapting one-self ...
BEATRICE LILLIE
You have to have a sense of humor about all of it - the Emmys and politics and everything.
BILLY EICHNER
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
LARRY GELBART
I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor.
CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS
The schizophrenic has no sense of humor. His world is a constantly daunting, unfriendly place.
BOB NEWHART
I have a remarkable ability to delete all better judgement from my brain when I get my head set on s...
MARYA HORNBACHER
I forgot," Isabelle muttered as the rest of them caught up to her. "Faeries have no sense of humor."...
CASSANDRA CLARE
I believe that economists put decimal points in their forecasts to show they have a sense of humor.
WILLIAM GILMORE SIMMS
He just never lost his optimism or sense of humor.
JANICE MOHR
You have to have a sense of humor to do this,
FRANK BROWN
The British really treasure their sense of humor and they have cultivated a sense of irony that, I t...
ALEX BOESE
I'm not an expert on the Malaysian sense of humor.
BEN STILLER
To my mind, a well-developed sense of humor is the surest indication of a person's humanity, no matt...
THOMAS LIGOTTI
I have never believed much in luck, and my sense of humor has tended to walk on the dark side.
HUNTER S. THOMPSON
I was certainly not a class clown; I confused and angered a lot of people with my sense of humor.
KATHERINE RYAN
When people are in the midst of really heavy stuff and still have a sense of humor, I admire that.
TED DANSON
The British really treasure their sense of humor and they have cultivated a sense of irony that, I t...
ALEX BOESE
Humor has a way of bringing people together. It unites people. In fact, I'm rather serious when I su...
RON DENTINGER
He was a larger-than-life figure, with a wicked sense of humor, and a great friend.
SIR RICHARD BRANSON
He was a larger-than-life figure, with a wicked sense of humor, and a great friend.
SIR RICHARD BRANSON
A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
CLIVE JAMES
People who know me know I have a sense of humor that can really push the envelope.
CARMEN ELECTRA
Always have a sense of humor about life - you'll need it - but always be courteous to boot.
PETER JENNINGS
There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has nev...
SINCLAIR LEWIS
There are two insults no human will endure. The assertion that he has no sense of humor and the doub...
SINCLAIR LEWIS
My dad instilled in me a great sense of humor. I wasn't bullied at school because my outward att...
WARWICK DAVIS
Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate th...
ANN LANDERS
Dali had a good sense of humor - obviously you could tell just looking at him; he was funny.
JOE GRANT
There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has nev...
SINCLAIR LEWIS
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
ERMA BOMBECK
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
ERMA BOMBECK
I wore goofy hats to school and did musical theater. Most people thought I was a dork. But if you ha...
ZAC EFRON
I've got a sense of humor. I'm a funny guy.
DARYL HALL
It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.
MAX EASTMAN
A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign th...
HUGH SIDEY
I think a sense of humor will help get a girl out of a dark place.
TWYLA THARP
You've got to have a sense of humor to keep your sanity.
LANCE BASS
You've got to have a sense of humor to keep your sanity.
LANCE BASS
I'm not 17 anymore. I still have some of the same sort of anger, but I have a sense of humor abo...
DAVE PIRNER
Fate has a twisted sense of humor.
AMELIA ATWATER-RHODES
great wit, a great sense of humor.
MICHAEL PALIN
I don't trust anyone who doesn't laugh.
MAYA ANGELOU
He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor.
BILL BRYSON
It's lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself.
MUHAMMAD ALI
A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming, understand the unconventional, tolerated ...
BILLY GRAHAM
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him ...
FRANCIS BACON, SR.
I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.
FRANK A. CLARK
A sense of humor is the best indicator that you will recover; it is often the best indicator that pe...
ANDREW SOLOMON
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things d...
DWIGHT DAVID EISENHOWER
It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.
G.K. CHESTERTON
I don't think that I could have survived in my family without a naughty sense of humor; yeah, ab...
RACHAEL MACFARLANE
I think this is a legislative sense of humor the rest of us don't appreciate.
ED PETERSON
If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you ca...
ALAN THICKE
Over the years, I've learned that a sense of humor is the only skill that allows you to turn suc...
ZACH ANNER
I'll be sure not to let anyone but you carry me in her arms." He turns and leaves the kitchen before...
SUSAN EE
I like the brooding man - a brooding man with a sense of humor.
MAIRA KALMAN
As I get older, my sense of humor is my biggest asset.
DAVID ALAN GRIER
He was a very quiet guy, unlike the rest of the rabble, ... He had a low-key, wicked sense of humor....
PETE HAMILL
I have this horrible sense of humor where I think discomfort is funny - partly because I experience ...
JOAQUIN PHOENIX
Generation to generation, these pseudo-revolutionaries could never handle not being the cool kids. S...
CASPAR VEGA
Someone bent on suicide won't have much sense of humor left.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK

More J.D. Salinger

I've never seen such a bunch of apple-eaters.
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This fall I think you're riding for—it's a special kind of fall, a horrible kind. The man falling ...
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I am always saying "Glad to've met you" to somebody I'm not at all glad I met. If you want to stay a...
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I’ve survived a lot of things, and I’ll probably survive this.
J.D. SALINGER
And I can't be running back and fourth forever between grief and high delight.
J.D. SALINGER
who wants flowers when youre dead? nobody.
J.D. SALINGER
She was not one for emptying her face of expression.
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Certain things, they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of thos...
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Catholics are always trying to find out if you're a Catholic.
J.D. SALINGER
You don't know how to talk to people you don't like. Don't love, really. You can't live in the world...
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Think about this truck. Make believe this is not the darkest, wettest, most miserable Army truck you...
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Unfortunately, here as elsewhere on this touching planet, imitation is the watchword and prestige th...
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I always pick a gorgeous time to fall over a suitcase or something.
J.D. SALINGER
That’s what I liked about those nuns. You could tell, for one thing, that they never went anywhere...
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I was surrounded by phonies...They were coming in the goddam window.
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I don’t give a damn, except that I get bored sometimes when people tell me to act my age. Sometime...
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The thing is, it's really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than th...
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Girls with their legs crossed, girls with their legs not crossed, girls with terrific legs, girls wi...
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What I really felt like, though, was committing suicide. I felt like jumping out the window. I proba...
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He said you were the only one who was bitter about S.'s suicide and the only one who really forgave ...
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I guess, even before that, I'd get them to empty out everything their parents and everybody ever tol...
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You're just being logical...You're just giving me a regular, intelligent answer. I was trying to hel...
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That cat was a spy. You had to take a pot shot at it. It was a very clever German midget dres...
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I mean it's very hard to meditate and live a spiritual life in America. People think you're a freak ...
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The worst thing that being an artist could do to you would be that it would make you slightly unhapp...
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Written in ink, in German, in a small, hopelessly sincere handwriting, were the words "Dear God, lif...
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If I were God, I certainly wouldn't want people to love me sentimentally. It's too unreliable...
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I don't even know what I was running for—I guess I just felt like it.
J.D. SALINGER
Well. He's a very sensitive boy. He's really never been a terribly good mixer with other boys...' J.D. SALINGER Know your true measurements and dress your mind accordingly
J.D. SALINGER
That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look ...
J.D. SALINGER
It's partly true, too, but it isn't all true. People always think something's all true.
J.D. SALINGER
You’d better get busy, though, buddy. The goddam sands run out on you every time
You turn ar...
J.D. SALINGER
My god, there's absolutely nothing tenth-rate about you, and yet you're up to your neck at this minu...
J.D. SALINGER
I'm a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
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I’ll read my books and I’ll drink coffee and I’ll listen to music, and I’ll bolt the door."<...
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Oh, I don’t know. That digression business got on my nerves. I don’t know. The trouble with me i...
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Make sure you marry someone who laughs at the same things you do.
J.D. SALINGER
I hate saying corny things like 'traveling incognito.' But when I' with somebody that's corny, I alw...
J.D. SALINGER
Rudford lay on his back in the grass and watched great cotton clouds slip through the sky. Peculiarl...
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It's no fun to be yellow. Maybe I'm not all yellow. I don't know. I think maybe I'm just partly yell...
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I also say "Boy" a lot. Partly because I have a lousy vocabulary and partly because I act quite youn...
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People with red hair are supposed to get mad very easily,...,and he had very red hair.
J.D. SALINGER
Some guys spend days looking for something they lost. I never seem to have anything that if I lost i...
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I think that one of these days," he said, "you're going to have to find out where you want to go. An...
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Give me an honest con man any day.
J.D. SALINGER
Don't tell people what you are thinking, or you will miss them terribly when you are away.
J.D. SALINGER
I can’t explain what I mean. And even if I could, I’m not sure I’d feel like it.
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The catcher in the rye... that's all I really want to be...
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the sentence im reading is terrific ...
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Lawyers are alright, I guess — but it doesn't appeal to me", I said. "I mean they're alright if th...
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Nothing in the voice of the cicada intimates how soon it will die.
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Ah, Sharon Lipschutz," said the young man. "How that name comes up. Mixing memory and desire.
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I prayed for the city to be cleared of people, for the gift of being alone—a-l-o-n-e: which is the...
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Did you see more glass?
J.D. SALINGER
She was a girl who for a ringing phone dropped exactly nothing. She looked as if her phone had been ...
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They love their reasons for loving us almost as much as they love us, and most of the time more. It'...
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You asked me how to get out of the finite dimensions when I feel like it. I certainly don't use logi...
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Just because somebody's dead, you don't just stop liking them-especially if they were about a thousa...
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I think if you don't really like a girl, you shouldn't horse around with her at all, and if you do l...
J.D. SALINGER
Some people you shouldn't kid, even if they deserve it.
J.D. SALINGER
If you're not in
the mood, you can't do that stuff right.
J.D. SALINGER
I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood.
J.D. SALINGER
People always think something's all true.
J.D. SALINGER
If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late?
J.D. SALINGER
Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. T...
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What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that ...
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I was six when I saw that everything was God, and my hair stood up, and all, Teddy said. It was on a...
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I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really ...
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The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature...
J.D. SALINGER
Yet a real artist, I've noticed, will survive anything. (Even praise, I happily suspect.)
J.D. SALINGER
I'm quite illiterate, but I read a lot.
J.D. SALINGER
I was trying to feel some kind of good-bye. I mean I’ve left schools and places I didn’t even kn...
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We're freaks, the two of us, Franny and I. I'm a twenty-five-year-old freak and she's a twenty-one-y...
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He said he talked to Jesus all the time. Even when he was driving his car. That killed me. I just se...
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The thing he was afraid of, he was afraid somebody'd say something smarter than he had.
J.D. SALINGER
That's the whole trouble. You can't ever find a place that's nice and peaceful, because there isn't ...
J.D. SALINGER
Boy, it began to rain like a bastard. In buckets, I swear to God. All the parents and mothers and ev...
J.D. SALINGER
I love you to pieces, distraction, etc.
J.D. SALINGER
After I go out this door, I may only exist in the minds of all my acquaintances…I may be an orange...
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I took her dress over to the closet and hung it up. It was funny. It made me feel sort of sad when I...
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These intellectual guys don't like to have an intellectual conversation with you unless they're runn...
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is he crazy?" --Harcourt-Brace editor on Holden Caulfield
J.D. SALINGER
When I really worry about something, I don´t just fool around. I even have to go to the bathroom wh...
J.D. SALINGER
You never even worried with Jane, whether your hand was sweaty or not. All you knew was, you were ha...
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That's something that annoys the hell out of me- I mean if somebody says the coffee's all ready and ...
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Everybody in this family gets his goddamn religion in a different package.
J.D. SALINGER
Boy, when you're dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enoug...
J.D. SALINGER
She wasn't doing a thing that I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, hol...
J.D. SALINGER
Your heart, Bessie, is an autumn garage.
J.D. SALINGER
If you sat around there long enough and heard all the phonies applauding and all, you got to hate ev...
J.D. SALINGER
It's really too bad that so much crumby stuff is a lot of fun sometimes.
J.D. SALINGER
I live in New York, and I was thinking about the lagoon in Central Park, down near Central Park Sout...
J.D. SALINGER
He was little more than halfway down the staircase when he heard an all-piercing, sustained scream--...
J.D. SALINGER
You know Sven? The man who takes care of the gym?' he asked. He waited till he got a nod from Nichol...
J.D. SALINGER
Listen, if you're not going to be a nun or something, you might as well laugh.
J.D. SALINGER
Poets are always taking the weather so personally. They're always sticking their emotions in things ...
J.D. SALINGER
There's a marvelous peace in not publishing, there's a stillness. When you publish, the world thinks...
J.D. SALINGER
She was around ten minutes late, as a matter of fact. I didn't give a damn, though. All that crap th...
J.D. SALINGER
One day a long time from now you'll cease to care anymore whom you please or what anybody has to say...
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We got passes, till midnight after the parade. I met Muriel at the Biltmore at seven. Two drinks, tw...
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You can hit my father over the head with a chair and he won't wake up, but my mother, all you have t...
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I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of trying to make me happy
J.D. SALINGER
You can't stop a teacher when they want to do something. They just do it.
J.D. SALINGER
Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.
J.D. SALINGER
All morons hate it when you call them a moron.
J.D. SALINGER
when you're not looking, somebody'll sneak up and write "Fuck you" right under your nose.
J.D. SALINGER
An artist's only concern is to shoot for some kind of perfection, and on his own terms, not anyone e...
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I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes. That way I wouldn't have to ha...
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Why's it so sunny?" she repeated.
Zooey observed her rather narrowly. "I bring the sun wherever...
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Bessie: 'Why don't you get married?'
Zooey: 'I like riding in trains too much. You never get to...
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If you do something too good, then, after a while, if you don't watch it, you start showing off. And...
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I’m just sick of ego, ego, ego. My own and everybody else’s. I’m sick of everybody that wants ...
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I mean they don't seem able to love us just the way we are. They don't seem able to love us unless t...
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She was terrific to hold hands with. Most girls if you hold hands with them, their goddam hand dies ...
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If or when I do start going to an analyst, I hope to God he has the foresight to let a dermatologist...
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Give me a story that just makes me unreasonably vigilant. Keep me up till five only because all your...
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I don't know what good it is to know so much and be smart as whips and all if it doesn't make you ha...
J.D. SALINGER
I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.
J.D. SALINGER
People never notice anything.
J.D. SALINGER
I wouldn't exactly describe her as strictly beautiful. She knocked me out, though.
J.D. SALINGER
چیزی که دنبالش می‌گشتم یه جور احساس خدافظی بود. می‌خوا...
J.D. SALINGER
I never really knew anything about friendship before I was in the Army. Did you Vince?"
"Not a...
J.D. SALINGER
I felt like praying or something, when I was in bed, but I couldn't do it. I can't always pray when ...
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When I'd originally loaded the car and held the door open for him, I'd had a passing impulse to pick...
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John Keats / John Keats / John / Please put your scarf on.
J.D. SALINGER
I don’t think it would have all got me quite so down if just once in a while—just once in a whil...
J.D. SALINGER
I'm sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect.
J.D. SALINGER
We’re freaks, that’s all. Those two bastards got us nice and early and made us into freaks with ...
J.D. SALINGER
I thought the two ugly ones were sisters, but they got very insulted when I asked them. You could te...
J.D. SALINGER
Do you have any emotions?"
"If I do, I don't remember when I ever used them. I don't see what t...
J.D. SALINGER
I see you are looking at my feet," he said to her when car was in motion.
"I beg your pardon?" ...
J.D. SALINGER
But doctors talk about cells as if they had such unlimited importance all by themselves. As if they ...
J.D. SALINGER
Each of his phrases was rather like a little ancient island, inundated by a miniature sea of whiskey...
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You take a really sleepy man, Esmé, and he always stands a chance of again becoming a man with all ...
J.D. SALINGER
If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the "Fuck you" signs in the w...
J.D. SALINGER
Grand. There's a word I really hate. It's a phony. I could puke every time I hear it.
J.D. SALINGER
People always clap for the wrong reasons.
J.D. SALINGER
This whole goddamn house stinks of ghosts.
J.D. SALINGER
If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was bor...
J.D. SALINGER
People never think anything is anything really. I'm getting goddam sick of it.
J.D. SALINGER
Anyway, I'm sort of glad they've got the atomic bomb invented. If there's ever another war, I'm goin...
J.D. SALINGER
Goddam money. It always ends up making you blue as hell.
J.D. SALINGER
Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. - Holden Caulfield
J.D. SALINGER
Then the carousel started, and I watched her go round and round...All the kids tried to grap for the...
J.D. SALINGER
Probably for every man there is at least one city that sooner or later turns into a girl. How well o...
J.D. SALINGER
There is a marvelous peace in not publishing ... I like to write. I love to write. But I write just ...
J.D. SALINGER
I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If I'm on my way to the store to b...
J.D. SALINGER
I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
J.D. SALINGER
He once told Allie and I that if he'd had to shoot anybody, he wouldn't've known which direction to ...
J.D. SALINGER
I thought what I'd do was I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes.
J.D. SALINGER
Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody.
J.D. SALINGER
Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightene...
J.D. SALINGER
But I'm Crazy. I swear to God I am.
J.D. SALINGER
I figured I could get a job at a filling station somewhere, putting gas and oil in people's cars. I ...
J.D. SALINGER
But you don't have to be a bad guy to depress somebody-you can be a good guy and do it.
J.D. SALINGER
It was that kind of a crazy afternoon, terrifically cold, and no sun out or anything, and you felt l...
J.D. SALINGER
The best thing, though, in that museum was that everything always stayed right where it was. Nobody'...
J.D. SALINGER
People are always ruining things for you.
J.D. SALINGER
When you're dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to ...
J.D. SALINGER
I like it when somebody gets excited about something. It's nice.
J.D. SALINGER
That digression business got on my nerves. I don't now. The trouble with me is, I like it whe...
J.D. SALINGER
It's 'If a body meet a body coming through the rye'!" old Phoebe said. "It's a poem. By Robert Burns...
J.D. SALINGER
I don’t even like old cars. I mean, they don’t even interest me at all. I'd rather have a goddam...
J.D. SALINGER
I felt so lonesome, all of a sudden. I almost wished I was dead.
J.D. SALINGER
Mary Jane. Listen. Please," Eloise said, sobbing. "You remember our freshman year, and I had that br...
J.D. SALINGER
Look at 'em,' he said. 'Goddam fools.' 'Who?' said Ginnie. 'I don't know. Anybody.
J.D. SALINGER
My father wrote beautifully,” Esmé interrupted. “I’m saving a number of his letters for poste...
J.D. SALINGER
Her joke of a name aside, her general unprettiness aside, she was, in terms of permanently memorable...
J.D. SALINGER
You know that apple Adam ate in the Garden of Eden, referred to in the Bible?' he asked. 'You know w...
J.D. SALINGER
He said I was unequipped to meet life because I had no sense of humor.
J.D. SALINGER
I felt so damn happy all of a sudden, the way old Phoebe kept going around and around. I was damn ne...
J.D. SALINGER
If I were a piano player, I'd play it in the goddam closet.
J.D. SALINGER
Every time you mention some guy that's strictly a bastard— very mean, or very conceited and all—...
J.D. SALINGER
It's not too bad when the sun's out, but the sun only comes out when it feels like coming out.
J.D. SALINGER
Sleep tight, ya morons!
J.D. SALINGER
You're going to have to find out where you want to go. And then you've got to start going there.
J.D. SALINGER
Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, som...
J.D. SALINGER
And I have one of those very loud, stupid laughs. I mean if I ever sat behind myself in a movie or s...
J.D. SALINGER
Listen, I don't care what you say about my race, creed, or religion, Fatty, but don't tell me I'm no...
J.D. SALINGER
Almost every time somebody gives me a present, it ends up making me sad.
J.D. SALINGER
The fact is always obvious much too late, but the most singular difference between happiness and joy...
J.D. SALINGER
She wrote to him fairly regularly, from a paradise of triple exclamation points and inaccurate obser...
J.D. SALINGER
I privately say to you, old friend... please accept from me this unpretentious bouquet of early-bloo...
J.D. SALINGER
You're lucky if you get time to sneeze in this goddam phenomenal world.
J.D. SALINGER
It’s history. It’s poetry.
J.D. SALINGER
I don't exactly know what I mean by that, but I mean it.
J.D. SALINGER
Mothers are all slightly insane.
J.D. SALINGER
It may be the kind where, at the age of thirty, you sit in some bar hating everybody who comes in lo...
J.D. SALINGER
Then I’d throw my automatic down the elevator shaft-after I’d wiped off all the fingerprints and...
J.D. SALINGER
D.B. asked me what I thought about all this stuff I just finished telling you about. I didn't know w...
J.D. SALINGER
I hate saying corny things like "traveling incognito." But when I'm with somebody that's corny, I al...
J.D. SALINGER
As much as anything else, it was a stare, not so paradoxically, of a privacy-lover who, once his pri...
J.D. SALINGER
O tipo da marinha e eu dissemos um ao outro que tinha sido um prazer. Que é uma coisa que me deixa ...
J.D. SALINGER
But what I mean is, lots of time you don’t know what interests you most till you start talking abo...
J.D. SALINGER
-Hey, listen," I said. "You know those ducks in that lagoon right near Central Park South? That litt...
J.D. SALINGER
It's such a stupid question, in my opinion. I mean, how do you know what you're going to do till you...
J.D. SALINGER
Keep me up till five because all your stars are out, and for no other reason…Oh dare to do it Budd...
J.D. SALINGER
The Gulf War is responsible for the huge and horrifying rise in Islamic terrorism.
PIERRE SALINGER
lost its lock on its original target.
PIERRE SALINGER