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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.


Steve Martin

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First, my doctor told me the good news. He said I was going to have a disease named after me.
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The doctor initially told me it was a sprain so I kept playing.
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I think I definitely got scared by the second or third time a doctor told me I was dying.
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If the doctor told me I had six minutes to live, I'd type a little faster.
ISAAC ASIMOV
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim"
BRING ME THE HORIZON
I knew before I saw the doctor that the news was not good.
JENNIFER WYNN
I had probably 10 bad minutes after the doctor told me, where I broke down. Then I focused on what I...
DARREN FENSTER
My doctor told me I would never walk again. My mother told me I would. I believed my mother.
WILMA RUDOLPH
I had two primary cancers, which was pretty unusual. And when I got the second one, people told me s...
SAM TAYLOR-WOOD
I showed up at the team meeting (Saturday) and nobody told me to get out, so it's good news,
CRAIG KRENZEL
I'd like an omelet named after me.
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Dr. Steve Joyce said it would take four to six weeks to heal, which kind of scared me at first, but ...
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The doctor told me without the surgery he would not have made it.
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God, I admire Steve Martin.
BILL PAXTON
Some of the linebackers tell me what they're going to do. Steve Gandy told me he was going to put th...
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Steve Martin in 'All of Me,' when he did that whole thing where he was possessed by the spir...
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I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We...
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My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
DARYNDA JONES
My first cat was named Cowboy, after the Dallas Cowboys.
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Once I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the descrip...
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I knew if I had a good season I'd probably think about leaving. There wasn't anything holding me bac...
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I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the descrip...
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When I told (my wife) Pat (that I was coming back), she said you're going to ruin your good name. Af...
JOE GIBBS
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
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The happiest moment in my life? When my doctor told me I was completely cured of leukemia.
JOSE CARRERAS
When they stood up and I stayed where I was, he asked me if I was going to stand and I told him that...
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People named their kids after me!
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The president called me after it ended and told me there was a very cordial atmosphere.
GIAMPAOLO ZANCAN
I feel greatly honored to have a ballpark named after me, especially since I've been thrown out of s...
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He’s dying!’ Doctor Cove, one of the ship’s two medical officers told me, looking at his med-s...
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After I hit the first couple of 3-pointers (in the first half), I knew I was going to have a good ni...
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The doctor told me I've damaged a disc and that the slightest impact could have very serious consequ...
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I probably went all the way to junior high school before a school doctor told me that I was 'dys...
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We first played against each other when were about 8 years old. We've become good friends, and when ...
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I noticed that. Their coach told me I was going over the time and that's the first time anyone's sai...
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My brother told me I was going to be a poet. I had a good brother. He did a lot of good brotherly wo...
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/USER/STUART+STOKES/MY_QUOTES/1
When I was born, the doctor was looking for me.
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Trammell and (pitching coach Bob) Cluck told me after the third that they were going to take me out....
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I talked to Reverend James Lawson, that was a close ally to Martin Luther King ... and they all told...
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A gypsy told me I was going to do great things. I was going to make all kinds of money.
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After my schooling, I was not thrilled by the idea of treading the usual doctor-engineer line. I wan...
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Nobody told me there was any idea for a sequel to 'The Exorcist.' But my agent called me to ...
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If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster.
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I heard the dry air was brutal for a knuckleball. People told me that I was going to have trouble ma...
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Fang was going to kill me. And after I was dead, he would kill me again.
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When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.
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I'm about to do something very clever and a tiny bit against the rules of the universe. It's importa...
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I was relaxed for the first time in a long time. So I knew it was going to be a good day for me.
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I was feeling good. The adrenaline was getting to me. That's what kept me going.
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A patient going to a doctor for his first visit was asked, And whom did you consult before coming to...
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Evil comes at leisure like the disease. Good comes in a hurry like the doctor.
G. K. CHESTERTON
My husband, after two weeks of dating, asked me, if our relationship were to work out, would I be OK...
JENNIE FINCH
I mean some doctor told me I had six months to live and I went to their funeral.
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If they had told me I was going into something like that, I would have given the keys back.
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What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hol...
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Do not speak to me of law. Not after what you have told me.
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He told me he was working as an interpreter in a doctor's office in Brookline, Massachusetts, wh...
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Am better off with the bad news disclosed to me than the good news hidden from me
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My doctor told me I was going to be marginal at this test and he'd given me some hope that maybe I w...
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I hated reunions. It made myself felt so little afterwards. When I was there, I couldn’t help not ...
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I had a meeting with Bob and he told me I wasn't playing. Then I came back in the afternoon and he t...
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Years ago, I took a chance on a kid named Steve Park, and look where he landed. I didn't make him, a...
BRADY BUNCH
The guys really did a good job of finding me on the outside. After I made the first one, I started t...
TRAVIS JOHNSON
My dad got me hooked on the news. That was a good thing.
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I wish there was a news channel that really told you what was going on in the world, not just sensat...
ANDIE MACDOWELL
They told me, Heraclitus, they told me you were dead, / They brought me bitter news to hear, and bit...
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I figured I was going to trust God over this doctor. Just the thought of taking the baby's life was ...
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For the first few months, I was a comically inept parent. The first night home from the hospital, I ...
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You want weapons? We’re in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world!
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The Doctor: This is bad, I don't like this. [kicks console and yells in pain] Never use force, you j...
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I feel greatly honored to have a ballpark named after me, especially since I've been thrown out ...
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Billy Crystal, Steve Martin do wonderful things.
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Well, she didn't run after me, ... She just told me I forgot one of the sheets.
JUDD GREGG
Tell me where the good news was. I haven't seen anything that's good except video game sales.
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When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my ...
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He kept telling me he was ready and his dad told me he was ready. After we missed the extra point, I...
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*Throwing bread out of door* AND STAY OUT!
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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years ol...
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Never awake me when you have good news to announce, because with good news nothing presses; but when...
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I was pleased. This was my first start of the spring. This is my first spring. They've told me I hav...
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At the time, I turned them down. However, they approached me again recently and told me how the busi...
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My background was always more soulful pop. I was named after Ella Fitzgerald, and when I was a kid, ...
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You don't want to take over the universe. You wouldn't know what to do with it beyond shout at it.
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There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick.
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He told me his daughter was going to get married.
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You've probably read in People that I'm a nice guy - but when the doctor first told me I had...
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I'm tired of wasting letters when punctuation will do, period.
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Nothing I do is done by popular demand.
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Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
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I cringe at backstory. Because it never quite explains or gets into some psychological thing that is...
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I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.
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That's a device. I like to think about it as a little bit of a mystery ... the director describes it...
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We are just happy that we are here in Brazil and that this was a good ending.
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Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.
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It's hard to find the right expression for this, but her beauty that she keeps within, you know? The...
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It eventually appeared to be me, cinematically. When I was writing it I was actually an author, you ...
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[On his breakthrough 1977 album] Let's Get Small, ... There's a million people onstage and everythin...
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a pile of near-misses.
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There was a point when I was around 14,
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'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' is a good one because it not only turned out, I think, to be a rea...
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I was very interested in vaudeville. It was the only sort of discipline that was a five-minute act o...
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We've taken what was just once a racetrack and made it a multifaceted gaming destination for the ent...
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There's a lot of thought in art. People get to talk about important things. There's a lot of...
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I was always a huge fan of E. E. Cummings. He did a series of lectures at Harvard or Princeton, and ...
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I just believe that the interesting time in a career is pre-success, what shaped things, how did you...
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I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as mu...
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Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Bil...
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In my banjo show with the Steep Canyon Rangers, I do do comedy during that show. It'd be absurd ...
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: na...
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In a sense, this book is not an autobiography but a biography, because I am writing about someone I ...
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I've heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone.
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You want to know how I think art should be taught to children? Take them to a museum and say, 'This ...
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I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
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Love is a promise delivered already broken.
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I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic wilderness...
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When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way ...
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Tweeting is really only good for one thing - it's just good for tweeting... It is rewarding, bec...
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I got a flue shot and now my chimney works perfectly.
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What is a movie star? A movie star is many things. They can be tall, short, thin, or skinny. They ca...
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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Well, excuuuuuse me!
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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Well, excuuuuuse me!!!!.
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I think there are people out there writing original bluegrass songs, but it's hard to get them o...
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I feel good about being able to take bluegrass on to television like 'Letterman' and 'Th...
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There was a time in my life when I was very interested in relationship psychology. Relationships end...
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They're going to ask those questions.
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I just think they should get a fair shake. They didn't. They didn't have the rights regular criminal...
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It was so sweet backstage, you should have seen it: The Teamsters were helping Michael Moore into th...
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I couldn't see his face, because the light came in from behind him and he was in shadow, and he said...
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...a young man, Jamaican, perhaps, his head circled in a scarf with sunbleached dreadlocks on piled ...
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I gave my cat a bath the other day. . .they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, if was fun for me....
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As a school board we felt it's an unfair expense to families. The lawsuit has a certain logic to it ...
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Comedians don't get Oscars, so I gave up on that a long time ago. And I can't really speak about the...
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By expressing his heart, anger and joy, Richard Pryor took comedy to its highest form.
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Lots of women are getting involved. They're not satisfied just being passengers anymore.
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I think when I was young, let's call it high school, and even before that, I just loved comedy, ...
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I just brush it off and try to make a joke about it. Over the years it's been interesting.
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between mom...
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With a cheery delicacy she divided my obsessions into three categories: acceptable, unacceptable, an...
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You want to be a bit compulsive in your art or craft or whatever you do. You want to be focused on i...
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In my opening seconds, I would say, "It's great to be here," then move to several other spots on the...
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Free love, man, Free Love! Which, by the way, was the single greatest concept a young man has ever h...
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Carl Reiner. He had an entrenched sense of glee; he used humor as a gentle way of speaking difficult...
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pinching my swollen fingers in between. Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one elemen...
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Enjoyment while performing was rare—enjoyment would have been an indulgent loss of focus that come...
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I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a by-product. The course was more plodding t...
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But my mother was aglow. She had a continuing fascination with celebrities, and now she had one of h...
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You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's ...
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won'...
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Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.
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I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you...
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Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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I loved to make people laugh in high school, and then I found I loved being on stage in front of peo...
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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
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I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.
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Everything is fraught with danger. I love technology and I love science. It's just always all in...
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The banjo is truly an American instrument, and it captures something about our past.
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When I was in college, I was debating to try my hand at show business, or to become a professor. I j...
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Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
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I would get records by Earl Scruggs... I would tune my banjo down and I'd pick out the songs not...
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I just brush it off and try to make a joke about it. Over the years it's been interesting.
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She had destroyed whatever was between us by making a profound gaffe: She met me.
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I loved doing 'Pennies from Heaven.' Because you have to understand that I'd been doing ...
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Just to be on the front row here is a bit of a prize in itself.
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You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fucking, cheeks! Then you can gi...
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I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of soc...
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So, I can hurt now, or hurt later.
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It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it s...
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We are comfortable, collectively, that those 12 [shootings] are related.
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When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of t...
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It takes time though for owners and trainers to invest that additional purse money to start cultivat...
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If she doesn't get an Academy Award nomination, I will kill myself.
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Claire is actually younger in life than the role calls for, but her emotional knowledge continued to...
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The environment changed with Martha Stewart and Enron,
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I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic region cov...
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Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy C...
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A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true
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I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was. . . a large Arctic region covered wi...
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I'm the leader of the platoon and I run gambling and lotteries, dances and I sell beer illegally. I'...
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I'm happy with how the day has gone and we've made positive steps forward each time I've gone out. M...
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I would have felt a little funny if another actor was playing this role.
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I believe in eight of the ten commandments; and I believe in going to church every Sunday unless the...
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Well, today the Grammys is much much better than the Oscars. I think the differences in the shows ar...
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I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians....
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Be tasteless, rude, and offensive,
Live in a swamp and be three dimensional,
Put a live ch...
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Doing comedy alone onstage is the ego's last stand.
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These word games bothered and intrigued me. Appearing to be silly nonsense, on examination they were...
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It was easy to be great. Every entertainer has a night when everything is clicking. These nights are...
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Thankfully, perseverance is a great substitute for talent.
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Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.
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Throughout my whole life, as a performer, I've never played with a band. I've always played ...
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If you've got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've got 71 cents left; But if y...
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
STEVE MARTIN
Well, excuuuuuse me!!!!
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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You want to be a bit compulsive in your art or craft or whatever you do.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the ...
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What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
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Be so good they can't ignore you.
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Owning a cat is a lot like being an American tourist in a fancy French restaurant- you will be overc...
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When we started building out here, we knew this was where we were headed. After we built our first o...
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We're absolutely thrilled to be named as one of the Best Companies to Work for in Texas. It's an hon...
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It's kind of a dream come true, because we've always loved these films. We've loved this character, ...
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These times are much franker. For example, in the first movie we have to assume that the daughter an...
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The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor first because writing is wh...
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First, my doctor told me the good news. He said I was going to have a disease named after me.
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It's almost as if someone took a saltine cracker, crumbled it and threw it in the air. These casinos...
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I'm enamored with the art world.
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I am really happy to stay with FPR for next year, especially after the amount of progress that we ha...
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I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal - high enough so you can look up her dress
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Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke
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Movies always are open to being remade because times change so much, and the tempo of movies changes...
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. . . Now you see . . . they' re not fit for humans . . ." "Put them on me.
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Theories, for me, are just about freeing your mind. It doesn't mean the theory is going to work ...
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L.A. is only where you live, because otherwise it's just a sprawling mass of everything, and I t...
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You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are ...
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Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus
Be dull and boring and omnipresent
Criticize things yo...
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between mom...
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One day I was particularly gloomy, and Jim asked me what the matter was. I told him my high school g...
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What if there were no punch lines? What if there were no indicators? What if I created tension and n...
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I opened the show with this line: "I have decided to give the greatest performance of my life! Oh, w...
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But Carroll's were more convoluted, and they struck me as funny in a new way:

1) Babies a...
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My most persistent memory of stand - up is of my mouth being in the present and my mind being in the...
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Had his room been facing west he would have noted the sparkling twenty-five-mile vista to the sea wh...
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A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working ...
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't s...
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An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might ...
STEVE MARTIN
I'm enamored with the art world. Anytime you look at anything that's considered artistic, th...
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I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
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I think I meant that, given the circumstances of my childhood, I had the illusion that it's easi...
STEVE MARTIN
Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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I love comedy. That's what got me into the arts. I don't even know how to categorize myself ...
STEVE MARTIN
I don't like to look back, and I'm always worried about the next thing rather than resting o...
STEVE MARTIN
I like all kinds of music. I listen to Abigail Washburn, the Punch Brothers, and Marc Johnson, the g...
STEVE MARTIN
I was reading an article in the 'New York Times;' it talked about being in the zone, and bei...
STEVE MARTIN
I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the...
STEVE MARTIN
There are some people that will not pick up a phone and call you, but if you knock on a door and tal...
STEVE MARTIN
I'm surprised even now that I was aware of things like that at that age. I don't know why. But I dec...
STEVE MARTIN
It doesn't behoove us not to ask these questions. It makes us look like fools.
STEVE MARTIN
I was not naturally talented. I didn't sing, dance or act, though working around that minor deta...
STEVE MARTIN
When I first started doing my comedy act, I just desperately needed material. So I took literally ev...
STEVE MARTIN
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
STEVE MARTIN
career in the irrational world of creativity not only made sense but had moral purpose.
STEVE MARTIN
In logic class, I opened my textbook—the last place I was expecting to find comic inspiration—an...
STEVE MARTIN
You’re nuts, but you’re welcome here.
STEVE MARTIN
...teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
STEVE MARTIN
Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.
STEVE MARTIN
...My father muttered something to me, and I responded with a mumbled "What". He shouted, "You heard...
STEVE MARTIN
How many people have never raised their hand before?
STEVE MARTIN
I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this st...
STEVE MARTIN
Everybody can be great. Because anybody can serve.. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul gene...
MARTIN
A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death...
MARTIN
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love ca...
MARTIN
A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.
MARTIN
Don't let the tall weeds cast a shadow on the beautiful flowers in your garden.
STEVE MARABOLI
I am not a victim. No matter what I have been through, I'm still here. I have a history of victory.
STEVE MARABOLI
Don't give up! It's not over. The universe is balanced. Every set-back bears with it the seeds of a ...
STEVE MARABOLI
Sometimes letting go is simply changing the labels you place on an event. Looking at the same event ...
STEVE MARABOLI
Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power ove...
STEVE MARABOLI
The strong-minded rise to the challenge of their goals and dreams. The weak-minded become haters.
STEVE MARABOLI
God’s word is not just to be heard and repeated, it is to be breathed, lived, and emulated with ea...
STEVE MARABOLI
Sometimes life knocks you on your ass... get up, get up, get up!!! Happiness is not the absence of p...
STEVE MARABOLI
I'm not crying because of you; you're not worth it. I'm crying because my delusion of who you were w...
STEVE MARABOLI
This life is for loving, sharing, learning, smiling, caring, forgiving, laughing, hugging, helping, ...
STEVE MARABOLI
Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This i...
STEVE MARABOLI
I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greates...
STEVE MARABOLI
Make the choice to embrace this day. Do not let your TODAY be stolen by the ghost of yesterday or th...
STEVE MARABOLI
No matter what your history has been, your destiny is what you create today. What are you going to c...
STEVE MARABOLI
How would your life be different if…You stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day...
STEVE MARABOLI
At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets.
STEVE MARABOLI
Focusing is about saying No.
STEVE JOBS
I want to live my life in such a way that when I get out of bed in the morning, the devil says, "aw ...
STEVE MARABOLI
Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simpl...
STEVE JOBS
You have to be burning with an idea, or a problem, or a wrong that you want to right. If you're not ...
STEVE JOBS
All of a sudden, we’ve lost a lot of control,’ he said. ‘We can’t turn off our internet; we ...
STEVE WOZNIAK
There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfort...
STEVE MARABOLI