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For she is such a smart little craft, Such a neat little, sweet little craft-- Such a bright little, Tight little, Slight little, Light little, Trim little, slim little craft!


William S. Gilbert

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I roll my eyes. "So when did I become so special? When they carted me off to the Capitol?"
"No,...
SUZANNE COLLINS
Woke up this morning with a terrific urge to lie in bed all day and read.
RAYMOND CARVER
Isn't it strange how life won't flow, like a river, but moves in jumps, as if it were held back by l...
ANITA DESAI
The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.
KURT VONNEGUT JR.
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moo...
W.B. YEATS
Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom.
SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE
It's my attempt to remain invisible, not distract the reader from the story with obvious writing.
ELMORE LEONARD
The obvious matters are more imperceptible today.
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A life without sweets is not much worth living.
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On the first floor, the first rule of a rumor was humor.
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More William S. Gilbert

Oh! to be wafted away From this black Aceldama of sorrow, Where the dust of an earthy to-day ...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
He is an Englishman! / For he himself has said it, / And it's greatly to his credit, / That he is an...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Take a pair of sparkling eyes.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
My family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
A source of innocent merriment.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
The House of Peers, throughout the war, / Did nothing in particular, / And did it very well.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
He is an Englishman! / For he himself has said it, / And it's greatly to his credit, / That he is an...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he's a dirty little beast.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
I've got to take under my wing, / Tra la, / A most unattractive old thing, / Tra la, / With a carica...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
On a cloth untrue / With a twisted cue, / And elliptical billiard balls.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Things are seldom what they seem, Skim milk masquerades as cream.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
I often think it's comical / How Nature always does contrive / That every boy and every gal, / That'...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
I'm a greenery-yallery, Grosvenor Gallery, / Foot-in-the-grave young man!
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Down went the owners -- greedy men whom hope of gain allured: oh, dry the starting tear, for they we...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
But they couldn't chat together - they had not been introduced.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
The mildest curate going.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Bad language or abuse I never, never use, Whatever the emergency; Though "Bother it" I m...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
I always voted at my party's call, And I never thought of thinking of myself at all.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family pr...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
On a cloth untrue / With a twisted cue, / And elliptical billiard balls.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Three little maids who, all unwary, / Come from a ladies' seminary.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Dukes were three a penny.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Life is a joke that's just begun.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Sir, I view the proposal to hold an international exhibition at San Francisco with an equanimity bor...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
When I first put this uniform on.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
And I am right, And you are right, Modified rapture!
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Sir, Sunday morning, although recurring at regular and well foreseen intervals, always seems to take...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
He led his regiment from behind - / He found it less exciting.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Matrimonial devotion doesn't seem to suit her notion.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
And I always voted at my party's call, / And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
As innocent as a new-laid egg.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Now landsmen all, whoever you may be, If you want to rise to the top of the tree, If your soul...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Sir, Sunday morning, although recurring at regular and well foreseen intervals, always seems to take...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
I was a pale young curate then.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
We will hang you, never fear, Most politely, most politely.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Time was when Love and I were well acquainted.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Take my counsel, happy man; / Act upon it, if you can!
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Man is nature's sole mistake.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Things are seldom what they seem.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Something lingering with boiling oil in it . . . something humorous but lingering--with either boil...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
My object all sublime I shall achieve in time-- To let the punishment fit the crime.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
He uses language that would make your hair curl.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
In enterprise of martial kind / When there was any fighting, / He led his reg'ment from behind / He ...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Then they began to sing That extremely lovely thing, "Scherzando! ma non troppo, ppp."
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Though "Bother it" I may Occasionally say, I never never use a big, big, D.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
I've got to take under my wing, / Tra la, / A most unattractive old thing, / Tra la, / With a carica...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Things are seldom what they seem, / Skim milk masquerades as cream.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Take a pair of sparkling eyes.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family pr...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
I am the very model of a modern Major-General; / I've information vegetable, animal and mineral; / I...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Hearts just as pure and fair / May beat in Belgrave Square / As in the lowly air / Of Seven Dials.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
A pleasant occupation for / A rather susceptible Chancellor!
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
I'm called Little Buttercup - dear Little Buttercup, / Though I could never tell why.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Life is made up of interruptions.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
If you wish in this world to advance your merits you're bound to enhance; you must stir it and stump...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold And the mate of the Nancy brig, And a bo'sun tight and a mi...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
A wandering minstrel I - / A thing of shreds and patches.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
So I fell in love with a rich attorney's / Elderly ugly daughter.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
She may very well pass for forty-three / In the dusk with a light behind her!
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
For you dream you are crossing the Channel, and tossing about in a steamer from Harwich, / Which is ...
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
The constitutional guardian I, / Of pretty young Wards in Chancery.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
You have no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself and how little I deserve it.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
My family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
You have no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself and how little I deserve it.
WILLIAM S. GILBERT
He combines the manners of a Marquis with the morals of a Methodist.
WILLIAM GILBERT
If you wish in this world to advance your merits you're bound to enhance; You must stir it and s...
WILLIAM GILBERT
In the discovery of secret things and in the investigation of hidden causes, stronger reasons are ob...
WILLIAM GILBERT
My family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering.
W. S. GILBERT
Things are seldom what they seem, skim milk masquerades as cream.
W. S. GILBERT
You've no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself--and how little I deserve it.
W. S. GILBERT
Things are seldom what they seem.
W. S. GILBERT
You have no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself; and how little I deserve it.
W. S. GILBERT
When everyone is somebody, then no one's anybody.
W. S. GILBERT
No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he's a dirty little beast.
W. S. GILBERT
Merely corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and uncon...
W. S. GILBERT
Matrimonial devotion doesn't seem to suit her notion.
W. S. GILBERT
I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descen...
W. S. GILBERT
If you wish in this world to advance, your merits you're bound to enhance; You must stir it and stum...
W. S. GILBERT
No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have; and I think he's a dirty little beast.
W. S. GILBERT
I love my fellow creatures -- I do all the good I can -- yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable ...
W. S. GILBERT
I always voted at my party's call, and I never thought of thinking for myself at all.
W. S. GILBERT
The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this, and every country but his own...
W. S. GILBERT
Darwinian man, though well-behaved, at best is only a monkey shaved.
W. S. GILBERT
My object all sublime I shall achieve in time...
W. S. GILBERT
In enterprise of martial kind, when there was any fighting, he led his regiment from behind -- he fo...
W. S. GILBERT
It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs.
W. S. GILBERT
Down went the owners -- greedy men whom hope of gain allured: oh, dry the starting tear, for they we...
W. S. GILBERT
You've no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself-and how little I deserve it.
W. S. GILBERT
Life
SIR WILLIAM SCHWENCK GILBERT
I see no reason why the artistic world can't absolutely merge with Madison Avenue. Pop art is a ...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Artists to my mind are the real architects of change, and not the political legislators who implemen...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Like all pure creatures, cats are practical.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Our national drug is alcohol. We tend to regard the use any other drug with special horror.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Love? What is it? Most natural painkiller.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Nothing is true, everything is permitted.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
My relationships with my cats has saved me from a deadly, pervasive ignorance.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
You know a real friend?
Someone you know will look after your cat after you are gone.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
I think the ideal situation for a family is to be completely incestuous.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
America is not so much a nightmare as a non-dream. The American non-dream is precisely a move to wip...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
The people in power will not disappear voluntarily, giving flowers to the cops just isn't going to w...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Now what sort of man or woman or monster would stroke a centipede I have ever seen? And here is my g...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Intelligence and war are games, perhaps the only meaningful games left. If any player becomes too pr...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Junk is the ideal product... the ultimate merchandise. No sales talk necessary. The client will craw...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
No atomic physicist has to worry, people will always want to kill other people on a mass scale. Sure...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
There is the pleasurable orgasm, like a rising sales graph, and there is the unpleasurable orgasm, s...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Admittedly, a homosexual can be conditioned to react sexually to a woman, or to an old boot for that...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
America is not a young land: it is old and dirty and evil before the settlers, before the Indians. ...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Junk is the ultimate merchandise. The junk merchant does not sell his product to the consumer, he se...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Nothing exists until or unless it is observed. An artist is making something exist by observing it. ...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Nobody owns life, but anyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Visual art and writing don't exist on an aesthetic hierarchy that positions one above the other,...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether t...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
All charming people have something to conceal, usually their total dependence on the appreciation of...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
No worse fate can befall a man than to be surrounded by traitor souls.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
I'm running out of everything now. Out of veins, out of money.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
If you rap your knuckles against a window jamb or door, if you brush your leg against a bed or desk,...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Terrorism is escalating to the point that Americans soon may have to choose between civil liberties ...
WILLIAM S. COHEN
In my writing I am acting as a map maker, an explorer of psychic areas . . . a cosmonaut of inner sp...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
My purpose in writing has always been to express human potentials and purposes relevant to the Space...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
A junky runs on junk time. When his junk is cut off, the clock runs down and stops. All he can do is...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Nothing is true, everything is permitted
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Hemingway was a prisoner of his style. No one can talk like the characters in Hemingway except the c...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Now what sort of man or woman or monster would stroke a centipede I have ever seen? ''And here is my...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
I am getting so far out one day I won't come back at all.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
If the mortality rate seems high we must realize that Nature is a ruthless teacher. There are no sec...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
I was new in the game and like all young thieves thought I had a license to steal. It didn't last.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Junk is not, like alcohol or weed, a means to increased enjoyment of life. Junk is not a kick. It is...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
In fact, they recapitulate the story of Christianity word for word, like the inevitable course of so...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Kerouac opened a million coffee bars and sold a million pairs of Levis to both sexes. Woodstock rise...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
When I say madness I mean what I see in a nut house: beat, resigned, dim, diffuse, nowhere people. N...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
The exact objectives of Islam Inc. are obscure. Needless to say everyone involved has a different an...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Junkies have no interest in sex and they have no interest in other people except as suppliers of jun...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Every man has inside himself a parasitic being who is acting not at all to his advantage.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say ''I want to see the manager.''
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
In the magical universe there are no coincidences and there are no accidents. Nothing happens unless...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
NAKED Lunch -- a frozen moment when everyone sees what is on the end of every fork.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether th...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
England has the most sordid literary scene I've ever seen. They all meet in the same pub. This guy's...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Kindness, Courtesy, Courage, and a Commitment to Academic Excellence
WILLIAM S. HUNTER
Never give succor to the mentally ill; it is a bottomless pit.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Writers don't write, they read and transcribe.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
We gotta find a way off this goddamn cop-ridden planet.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
The more reliant we become upon computers and information systems, the more vulnerable we become to ...
WILLIAM S. COHEN
We are like water creatures looking up at the land and air and wondering how we can survive in that ...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
I know that Nature designs that this whole continent, not merely these thirty-six states, shall be, ...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
A Nazi initiation into the upper reaches of the SS was to gouge out the eye of a pet cat after feedi...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Passionless is vulgar ("Metier: Why I Don't Write Like Franz Kafka")
WILLIAM S. WILSON
The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Junk turns the user into a plant. Plants do not feel pain since pain has no function in a stationary...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
They are all stupid peasants, and the worst of all peasants are the so-called educated. These people...
WILLIAM S BURROUGHS
All over America, people were pulling credentials out of their pockets and sticking them under someo...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Build a good name. Keep your name clean. Don’t make compromises, don’t worry about making a bunc...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Humility is indeed beatness, a compulsory virtue that no one exhibits unless he has to.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
I think there are innumerable gods. What we on earth call God is a little tribal God who has made an...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Which came first the intestine or the tapeworm?
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
There couldn't be a society of people who didn't dream. They'd be dead in two weeks.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
I feel that any form of so called psychotherapy is strongly contraindicated for addicts. The questio...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Black magic operates most effectively in preconscious, marginal areas. Casual curses are the most ef...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Nothing exists until or unless it is observed. An artist is making something exist by observing it. ...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
In the U.S. you have to be a deviant or exist in extreme boredom... Make no mistake, all intellectua...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Changes... can only be effected by alterations in the original. The only thing not prerecorded in a ...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
You must learn to exist with no religion, no country, no allies. You must learn to live alone in sil...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager....
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
The purpose of technology is not to confuse the brain but to serve the body.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Happiness is a byproduct of function, purpose, and conflict; those who seek happiness for itself see...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Virtue is simply happiness, and happiness is a by-product of function. You are happy when you are fu...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
A cat's rage is beautiful, burning with pure cat flame, all its hair standing up and crackling b...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
For while the threat of nuclear holocaust has been significantly reduced, the world remains a very u...
WILLIAM S. COHEN
The exact objectives of Islam Inc. are obscure. Needless to say everyone involved has a different an...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
When I say madness I mean what I see in a nut house: beat, resigned, dim, diffuse, nowhere people. N...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself. Of course he wants care and shelter. You don...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Every man has inside himself a parasitic being who is acting not at all to his advantage.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say ''I want to see the manager.''
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Kerouac opened a million coffee bars and sold a million pairs of Levis to both sexes. Woodstock rise...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
The youth rebellion [1968] is a worldwide phenomenon that has not been seen before in history. I do ...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Madness is confusion of levels of fact. . . . Madness is not seeing visions but confusing levels.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Speaking for myself, art differs from writing in that I never know what I'm going to paint until...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
For while the threat of nuclear holocaust has been significantly reduced, the world remains a very u...
WILLIAM S. COHEN
The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself. Of course he wants care and shelter. You don...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
The Pusher always gets it all back.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Madness is confusion of levels of fact. . . . Madness is not seeing visions but confusing levels.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
The first and most important thing an individual can do is to become an individual again, decontrol ...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
My experience as an addict was very useful to me as writer: the whole syndrome of addiction and with...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
I prefer cats to people, for the most part. Most people aren't cute,
& if they are cute the...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
How long does it take man to realize that he cannot want what he wants? You have to live in hell to ...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
I don't make myself work. It's just the thing I want to do. To be completely alone in a room, to kno...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
To his secretary after a visit from Kurt Cobain, "There's something wrong with that boy. He frowns f...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Nothing exists until or unless it is observed. An artist is making something exist by observing it. ...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Be just and if you can't be just, be arbitrary.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
How I hate those who are dedicated to producing conformity.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
Thanks for the American dream, to vulgarize and falsify until the bare lies shine through. Thanks fo...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
The only possible ETHIC is to do what one wants to do.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
We must find out what words are and how they function. They become images when written down, but ima...
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
I feel that this life is sort of a penal colony. People have goofed or we wouldn't be here.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS