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Get that head up there like a big girl ... there we go. There was a point she couldn't do this at all.


Phyllis Maxwell

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Soul music is soul music. It can be wrapped up in a neo soul package; it can be called hip-hop soul....
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age -- as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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In my early life, and probably even today, it is not sufficiently understood that a child's educatio...
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There are two ways of meeting difficulties: You alter the difficulties or you alter yourself to meet...
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A hobby a day keeps the doldrums away.
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The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
PHYLLIS DILLER
I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.
PHYLLIS DILLER
I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
PHYLLIS DILLER
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
PHYLLIS DILLER
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
PHYLLIS DILLER
Mistakes are the usual bridge between inexperience and wisdom.
PHYLLIS THEROUX
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
PHYLLIS DILLER
Mistakes are the usual bridge between inexperience and wisdom.
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I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing
PHYLLIS DILLER
Do you ever wonder why the internet is so polluted with pornography? The Supreme Court just reminded...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
When blithe to argument I come, / Though armed with facts, and merry, / May Providence protect me fr...
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
The East is a montage. It is old and it is young, very green in summer, very white in winter, gregar...
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
PHYLLIS DILLER
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She's always been the one to volunteer when others don't.
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Money's scarce
Times are hard
Here's your fucking
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Gossip isn't scandal and it's not merely malicious. It's chatter about the human race by lovers of t...
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
PHYLLIS DILLER
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser
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I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
PHYLLIS DILLER
Men should stop treating feminists like ladies, and instead treat them like the men they say they wa...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
Congress should pass legislation to remove from the federal courts their jurisdiction to hear these ...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
I hope that things can change in a way that will make it possible to cure the children that are now ...
PHYLLIS BENNIS
The European nations' loss of sovereignty to the EU should be a warning to Americans.
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
I don't think the GOP is going to die; I think Trump is going to revive it.
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
PHYLLIS DILLER
In a world of inhumanity, war and terrorism, American citizenship is a very precious possession.
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
There are thousands of Ten Commandments plaques or monuments all over the country, and lawsuits to r...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
God made them? You think God made them? Did God call White Flower Farm and order the bulbs? Did God ...
PHYLLIS ROSE
When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind, an...
PHYLLIS BOTTOME
Truth, though it has many disadvantages, is at least changeless. You can always find it where you le...
PHYLLIS BOTTOME
The pace is especially important in this, when it isn't so much a whodunit. We had to find a way to ...
PHYLLIS NAGY
But the kitchen will not come into its own again until it ceases to be a status symbol and becomes a...
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 ...
PHYLLIS DILLER
National Standards was not a narrative of past events but was leftwing revisionism and Political Cor...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
PHYLLIS DILLER
Much of the demand for women in combat comes from female officers who are eager for medals and promo...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
A mother's hardest to forgive.
Life is the fruit she longs to hand you
Ripe on a plate. An...
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
And the first commandment of feminism is: I am woman; thou shalt not tolerate strange gods who asser...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter ho...
PHYLLIS DILLER
Children are born with imaginations in mint condition, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...
PHYLLIS THEROUX
You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
PHYLLIS DILLER
Okay you guys need the dope on the real story of the princess and the frog...So once upon a time a b...
PHYLLIS CUROTT
Most people know intuitively that when you fall in love, the world is full of magic. What they don't...
PHYLLIS CUROTT
I'm going to miss it terribly. I know that. It's been a major part of my life. So, it's going to be ...
PHYLLIS DAVIS
Oh, high is the price of parenthood, and daughters may cost you double. You dare not forget, as you ...
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
Sometimes I have a notion that what might improve the situation is to have women take over the occup...
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
PHYLLIS DILLER
Gossip isn't scandal and it's not merely malicious. It's chatter about the human race by lovers of t...
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
PHYLLIS DILLER
Who could deny that privacy is a jewel? It has always been the mark of privilege, the distinguishing...
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next...
PHYLLIS DILLER
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
PHYLLIS DILLER
The trouble with gardening is that it does not remain an avocation. It becomes an obsession.
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
Putting women in military combat is the cutting edge of the feminist goal to force us into an androg...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
American women are so fortunate. When I got married, all I wanted in the world was a dryer so I didn...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
When blithe to argument I come, Though armed with facts, and merry, May Providence protect me from T...
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in p...
PHYLLIS DILLER
Sex education classes are like in-home sales parties for abortions.
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
PHYLLIS DILLER
Remember, those that wait upon the Lord will rise up with wings like eagles, and they will run and n...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
History offers no evidence for the proposition that the assignment of women to military combat jobs ...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
Seventy is wormwood, Seventy is gall But its better to be seventy, Than not alive at all.
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
Feminism is doomed to failure because it is based on an attempt to repeal and restructure human natu...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.
PHYLLIS DILLER
Since the women are the ones who bear the babies, and there's nothing we can do about that, our ...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, ran...
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Seventy is wormwood, Seventy is gall But its better to be seventy, Than not alive at all
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, ...
PHYLLIS DILLER
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out
PHYLLIS DILLER
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture
PHYLLIS DILLER
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops...
PHYLLIS DILLER
Sin has always been an ugly word, but it has been made so in a new sense over the last half-century....
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
Of course we women gossip on occasion. But our appetite for it is not as avid as a mans. It is in th...
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
If you find yourself caring for a relative with dementia, the chances are you'll need help.
PHYLLIS LOGAN
I believe that the worst thing the liberals did in this country was the Lyndon Johnson welfare syste...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
When I go out, I love to put on mascara and lipstick, but I simply don't have time for leisurely...
PHYLLIS LOGAN
Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off
PHYLLIS DILLER
Those wearing tolerance for a label call other views intolerable.
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
Any judge who allows an adulterer with a live-in girlfriend to terminate the life of his wife should...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
It's not the physical location of birth that defines citizenship, but whether your parents are c...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
It's not like the finger that was in the Wendy's chili.
PHYLLIS INGRAM
It doesn't seem too unusual to have a live hermit crab here in Atlantic City, but when you think I b...
PHYLLIS GEORGE
It is very a dangerous thing to have an idea that you will not practice
PHYLLIS BOTTOME
In my early life, and probably even today, it is not sufficiently understood that a child's educatio...
PHYLLIS BOTTOME
When lightning strikes, the mouse is sometimes burned with the farm
PHYLLIS BOTTOME
If you don't have fundamental biology, all the branches are going to whither.
PHYLLIS WISE
Each of these organizations does a remarkable job at providing health care services in Collin County...
PHYLLIS COLE
crumbling under an administration blinded by ideology and a callous indifference to the realities of...
PHYLLIS OAKLEY
prompted by a growing concern, deeply held, about the future of the country's national security.
PHYLLIS OAKLEY
There is a strong correlation between belief in evolution and liberal views on government control, p...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto
PHYLLIS DILLER
If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, "Who could have done...
PHYLLIS DILLER
We really stepped it up defensively in the third quarter. To give up only four points in a quarter a...
PHYLLIS ARTHUR
[However, noting that the women thus accused of witchcraft] belonged to the same ethnic and national...
PHYLLIS CHESLER
How can we protect homeland security unless the government stops the invasion of illegal aliens?
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
Life is what you make it: If you snooze, you lose; and if you snore, you lose more.
PHYLLIS GEORGE
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops...
PHYLLIS DILLER
[Phyllis Hunter is bedridden, and it was her granddaughter who brought a spark of hope to days that ...
PHYLLIS HUNTER
We spend the first 12 months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next ...
PHYLLIS DILLER
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
PHYLLIS DILLER
A smile is a curve that sets things right.
PHYLLIS DILLER
Life is rich it’s full of gifts-the more you have the more there is to share. You know its men wit...
PHYLLIS CUROTT
Writing is not only a reflection of what one thinks and feels but a rope one weaves with words that ...
PHYLLIS THEROUX
All Dr. King fought for is now just on paper, ... They used to use ropes to hang us. Now they use bu...
PHYLLIS MILLER
All of this adds ammunition to the argument that the ECB will tighten (monetary policy).
PHYLLIS REED
The recent attacks on the secretary-general, easier to attack than the institution as a whole, have ...
PHYLLIS BENNIS
The United Nations is based on principles, embodied in the U.N. Charter, that require its leadership...
PHYLLIS BENNIS
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
PHYLLIS DILLER
Our bodies are shaped to bear children, and our lives are a working out of the processes of creation...
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
Of course we women gossip on occasion. But our appetite for it is not as avid as a man s. It is in t...
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
What I am defending is the real rights of women. A woman should have the right to be in the home as ...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY
Please to put a nickel, please to put a dime. How petitions trickle in at Christmas time!
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
There are two ways of meeting difficulties: you alter the difficulties or you alter yourself meeting...
PHYLLIS BOTTOME
Words can sting like anything, but silence breaks the heart.
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
Sticks and stones are hard on bones aimed with angry art. Words can sting like anything but silence ...
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once
PHYLLIS DILLER
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
PHYLLIS DILLER
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, ra...
PHYLLIS DILLER
Compromise, if not the spice of life, is its solidity. It is what makes nations great and marriages ...
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, "Who could have done...
PHYLLIS DILLER
Mistakes are the usual bridge between inexperience and wisdom.
PHYLLIS THEROUS
Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.
PHYLLIS DILLER
For her fifth wedding, the bride wore black and carried a scotch and soda.
PHYLLIS BATTELLE
I think this is what hooks one to gardening: it is the closest one can come to being present at crea...
PHYLLIS THEROUX
You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoo...
PHYLLIS DILLER