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Government today is growing too strong to be safe. There are no longer any citizens in the world there are only subjects. They work day in and day out for their masters they are bound to die for their masters at call. Out of this working and dying they tend to get less and less.


H.L. Mencken

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The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.
H. L. MENCKEN
Alimony -- the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
H. L. MENCKEN
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
HENRY LOUIS MENCKEN
There is something even more valuable to civilization than wisdom, and that is character
HENRY LOUIS MENCKEN
Life is a dead-end street.
H. L. MENCKEN
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
HENRY LOUIS MENCKEN
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays twice as much in taxes as he former...
H. L. MENCKEN
An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will...
H. L. MENCKEN
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party ...
H. L. MENCKEN
Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true.
H. L. MENCKEN
I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of peop...
H. L. MENCKEN
The most common of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief ...
H. L. MENCKEN
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. MENCKEN
Morality is the theory that every h uman act must be either right or wrong, and that 99 % of them a...
H. L. MENCKEN
Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
H. L. MENCKEN
An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will a...
H. L. MENCKEN
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
H. L. MENCKEN
It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common hones...
H. L. MENCKEN
The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.
H. L. MENCKEN
A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.
H. L. MENCKEN
Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse.
H. L. MENCKEN
The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as s...
HENRY LOUIS MENCKEN
There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are goo...
H. L. MENCKEN
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another
H. L. MENCKEN
Man is a natural polygamist: he always has one woman leading him by the nose, and another hanging on...
H. L. MENCKEN
Puritanism is the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. MENCKEN
The worshiper is the father of the gods.
H. L. MENCKEN
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect...
H. L. MENCKEN
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution.
H. L. MENCKEN
Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.
H. L. MENCKEN
Immortality is the condition of a dead man who doesn't believe he is dead.
H. L. MENCKEN
Alimony: the ransom the happy pay to the devil.
H. L. MENCKEN
A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
H. L. MENCKEN
Democracy: The worship of jackals by jackasses.
H. L. MENCKEN
Wife: a former sweetheart.
H. L. MENCKEN
The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at...
H. L. MENCKEN
New York: A third-rate Babylon.
H. L. MENCKEN
Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.
H. L. MENCKEN
Any man who, having a child or children he can't support, proceeds to have another should be sterili...
H. L. MENCKEN
And what is a good citizen? Simply one who never says, does or thinks anything that is unusual. Scho...
H. L. MENCKEN
If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United St...
H. L. MENCKEN
Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
H. L. MENCKEN
Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
HENRY LOUIS MENCKEN
No man could bring himself to reveal his true character, and, above all, his true limitations as a c...
H. L. MENCKEN
School-days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence. They are full of du...
H. L. MENCKEN
The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all: it is simply to reduce as many in...
H. L. MENCKEN
There are two kinds of books. Those that no one reads and those that no one ought to read.
H. L. MENCKEN
There are people who read too much: bibliobibuli. I know some who are constantly drunk on books, as ...
H. L. MENCKEN
Every man is thoroughly happy twice in his life: just after he has met his first love, and just afte...
HENRY LOUIS MENCKEN
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
HENRY LOUIS MENCKEN
Follow the rule of holes; if you are in one, stop digging.
HENRY LOUIS MENCKEN
If I ever marry it will be on a sudden impulse, as a man shoots himself.
H. L. MENCKEN
Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
H. L. MENCKEN
A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the...
HENRY LOUIS MENCKEN