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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.


Mark Twain

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Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in
MARK TWAIN
Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
MARK TWAIN
Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in
MARK TWAIN
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
MARK TWAIN
If you hold a cat by the tail, you learn things you can't learn any other way.--Mark Twain
TONY-PAUL DE VISSAGE
If you want to meet Mark Twain, all you have to do is use your brain!
STEVE RAY COLLINS
Mark Twain supposedly observed, 'Don't pick a fight with anyone who buys ink by the barrel and paper...
THOMAS F. CALCAGNI
The Man Bitten by a Dog A man who had been bitten by a Dog went about in quest of someone who might ...
AESOP
In hope to merit Heaven by making earth a Hell.
LORD BYRON (GEORGE GORDON NOEL BYRON)
Heaven would be Hell in no time if every cruel, selfish, vicious soul went to Heaven.
ANNE RICE
All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
If heaven was hot and hell was chilly, tell me, why would you go to heaven?
MICHAEL BASSEY JOHNSON
All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called "Huckleberry Finn."
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
If it wasn't for the Mark Twain Masquers, I don't know where my life would have gone.
PETER FALK
Mark Twain: A Life
RON POWERS
If you were up to your neck in cat vomit and someone threw dog poop at you would you duck?
JOEL SAMAHA
You can go to heaven if you want. I'd rather stay in Bermuda.
MARK TWAIN
We would do ourselves a tremendous favor by letting go of the people who poison our spirit.
STEVE MARABOLI
If skill could be gained by watching, every dog would become a butcher.
TURKISH PROVERB
Even heaven would become hell if you were alone in it, or away from a loved one. And even if you wer...
SUZY KASSEM
Mark Twain.
FRIENDS
Why should we save them? It's part of the historical legacy of California. They were made famous by ...
MARC HAYES
They don't tell you what could happen. They don't say your dog or child could die if they went out o...
DIANNE MICHLINSKI
When I was little I bragged about my firefighting father: my father would go to heaven, because if h...
JODI PICOULT
He would do himself, and I think the country, a favor by withdrawing.
CHRISTOPHER DODD
I'm in favor of change and reform. But it would be a totally negative impact on the east end of the ...
HAL JOSEPH
If you would not step into the harlot's house, do not go by the harlot's door.
THOMAS SECKER
Mark Twain cannot be defined.
HAL HOLBROOK
If the World Cup goes badly, Scolari naturally will not stay, but if it goes well it would be imposs...
GILBERTO MADAIL
Fame will go by and, so long, I've had you, Fame. If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle.
MARILYN MONROE
The dog commends himself to our favor by affording play to our propensity for mastery.
THORSTEIN VEBLEN
The dog commends himself to our favor by affording play to our propensity for mastery
THORSTEIN VEBLEN
If you are renewed by grace, and were to meet your old self, I am sure you would be very anxious to ...
CHARLES HADDON SPURGEON
If you say merit does not matter but miracles or favor matters, you are equally destroying yourself ...
SUNDAY ADELAJA
It's just like if Sony went out of business. Your Sony television would still function.
ERIC GARLAND
I can assure you the hemorrhaging has stopped. I asked remaining caucus members if they adhered to t...
PAULINE MAROIS
Rather than go to the gym, I would prefer to do martial arts because the time goes by quicker.
MILLA JOVOVICH
They went up there, and then they ran down here, and they went up the big evergreen, and then they w...
LIN DUTTON
Ill comes in by ells, and goes out by inches.
GEORGE HERBERT
Mark Twain had a way of telling stories that shifts your consciousness away from labels.
VAL KILMER
If people were employed at creating heaven on earth, everybody would be happy; instead each one is c...
BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA
Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.
MARK TWAIN
The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, ...
MARK TWAIN
If you masturbated with your left hand, would it be like being touched by a retarded person?
ROBIN WILLIAMS
It takes two for a kiss Only one for a sigh, Twain by twain we marry One by one we die.
FREDERIC LAWRENCE KNOWLES
There's not a lot of relief in sight. I would not be surprised to see the monthly deficit go above $...
NARIMAN BEHRAVESH
We knew he hit it really well, but the wind was blowing in so hard that we were not sure if it would...
BILL BUSCETTO
Asked what would be his idea of Heaven, one statesman in 1897 said it would be to "receive a flow of...
BARBARA W. TUCHMAN
I, Mark Twain being of sound mind, have spent everything
MARK TWAIN
There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it and wish it would have turned out differe...
ADAM KIDAN
I grew up reading Shakespeare and Mark Twain.
JACKSON BROWNE
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you...
MARK TWAIN
If it were a dog, it would have bitten you already
PROVERB
We're having a good time. But it would be even better if the sun would just stay out.
JEFF BEAN
Mark Twain is as big as America. He really is.
VAL KILMER
I ask you, what would you do if you could erase one bad memory and retain all that was beautiful in ...
NOORILHUDA
I would love to talk to Twain and find out what he would say. I think he would have a real fun twink...
CHRIS PACKARD
If any difference should be made by law between husband and wife, reason, justice and humanity, if t...
ERNESTINE ROSE
I would have probably rested him by now if we were out of it.
CHARLIE MANUEL
What if cars drove by the power of colors? Like if you would fuel your car on red. Or purple.
MATT MALDRE
It would be Carol, in a thousand cities, a thousand houses, in foreign lands where they would go tog...
PATRICIA HIGHSMITH
Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.
MARK TWAIN
Even a broken clock is right twice a day, but you wouldn't go scheduling your day by it would you? T...
UNKNOWN
Your 'let's remain calm and stay put' speech would be a lot more convincing if you weren't giving it...
DAVID WONG
Heaven would never be heaven without you.
RICHARD MATHESON
I read from Mark Twain's lips one or two of his good stories. He has his own way of thinking, saying...
HELEN KELLER
His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the wh...
MARK TWAIN
If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some; for he that goes a- borrowing goes ...
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any honesty in him.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
What is it in people, or just in people like me, that would rather let a lie go by, would rather wis...
WALTER KIRN
If Michelle Obama had stepped out in an outrageously priced jacket by an Italian designer, heads wou...
JEREMY SCOTT
If you would not step into the harlot's house, do not go by the harlot's door.
THOMAS SECKER
If you were to go out and design and build them yourself, it would cost you many times that.
BRUCE KARATZ
There are so many steps you have to go through to reach a high level, so you're kind of building...
VICTORIA AZARENKA
The seal went into the restaurant and was asked by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club on th...
UNKNOWN
You make your mark by being true to who you are and letting that be your staple.
KAT GRAHAM
The mind is the most powerful thing in the world. Why would you allow your athletes to go out and be...
CLIFFORD REED
Luck is the by-product of busting your fanny.
DON SUTTON
It was a 50-50 ball that came off the keeper, ... I saw it and went all out for it, and just hoped i...
CHRIS PATTERSON
It was a 50-50 ball that came off the keeper, ... I saw it and went all out for it, and just hoped i...
CHRIS PATTERSON
Mark Twain and I are in the same position. We have put things in such a way as to make people, who w...
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
If it comes, let it come. If it goes, it's ok, let it go. Let things come and go. Stay calm, don't l...
GERMANY KENT
If it comes, let it come. If it goes, it's ok, let it go. Let things come and go. Don't let anything...
GERMANY KENT
I would rather go to heaven alone than go to hell in company.
R. A. TORREY
It feels like someone took your dog out right in front of you and shot it. And then you've got to go...
BOBBY CARPENTER
I would rather go to heaven alone than go to hell in company.
R.A. TORREY
If you stay, I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll quit the band; go with you to New York. But if you ...
GAYLE FORMAN
If they worked out their issues, they would end up keeping their dog instead of getting rid of it.
JENNIFER JORDAN
To paraphrase Mark Twain, our demise is greatly exaggerated.
CHRIS DONLAY
How would you like it if your veterinarian called and left the following message on your answer mach...
NANCY FRIEDMAN
When you find that you are on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." Mark Twain
STEVE J. LEATHERWOOD
Your problems don't go away so easily. If you die and go to heaven, that doesn't necessarily make yo...
BEN JORGENSEN
By the state, by what the state would say, we could easily double or triple that, if we went after t...
CAROL COSTELLO
Time goes by fast, and people go in and out of your life so quickly, so you should never miss the op...
PABLO PICASSO
There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happend. -Mark Twain.
MARK TWAIN
You would not cry if you knew that by looking deeply into the rain you would still see the cloud.
THICH NHAT HANH
If you present your dog to a veterinarian with the instruction to put him to sleep, you would normal...
RAYMOND MOODY
If a dog doesn't put you first where are you both? In what relation? A dog needs God. It lives b...
ENID BAGNOLD
If a dog doesn't put you first where are you both? In what relation? A dog needs God. It lives by yo...
ENID BAGNOLD
I thought when we went up by three, that would be the turning point, that we were ready to go on a r...
JEFF REIS

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In our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of consci...
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I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
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If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - a Christian.
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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards
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I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved it.
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When I think of the number of disagreeable people that I know who have gone to a better world, I am ...
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Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him unt...
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Let us endeavor to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact
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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear-not absence of fear. Except a creature be part cowar...
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Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
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Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
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He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
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I can live for two months on a good compliment.
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All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
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Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
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Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely ...
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I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!
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History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme.
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The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
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Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its...
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They did not know it was impossible so they did it
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The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my ...
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Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the wri...
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If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
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The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
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Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the ca...
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Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
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The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
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Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
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Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
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There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.
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My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest.
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France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.
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There are only two forces that can carry light to all the corners of the globe... the sun in the hea...
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There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock...
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Humanity has unquestionably one really effective weapon
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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalist...
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Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle...
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A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
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To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know, I've done it a thousand times.
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Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered -- either by themselves or by others.
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Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it
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Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-law.
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A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the l...
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Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
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We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.
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...the person that had took a bull by the tail once had learnt sixty or seventy times as much as a p...
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Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the ...
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There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when ...
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When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
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Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the real...
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Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
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A man can seldom -- very, very, seldom -- fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are t...
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There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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Accident is the name of the greatest of all inventors.
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I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it. About a politician ...
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Evolution is the law of policies: Darwin said it, Socrates endorsed it, Cuvier proved it and establi...
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Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
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What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man who...
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The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.
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The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred on me. However, few escape that distinction.
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He liked to like people, therefore people liked him.
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True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
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In his private heart no man much respects himself.
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When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man muc...
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There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to...
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The Pause; that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geometrically progressive silence wh...
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live...
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If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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There are people who exaggerate so much that they can't tell the truth without lying.
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There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happend. -Mark Twain.
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Hunger is the handmaid of genius
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In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worshi...
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The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny
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And always we had wars, and more wars, and still other wars — all over Europe, all over the world....
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In Nevada, for a time, the lawyer, the editor, the banker, the chief desperado, the chief gambler, a...
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To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler and less trouble.
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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.
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The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice
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Etiquette requires us to admire the human race
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Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
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The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.
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Habit is habit, and not to be flung out the window by man, but coaxed downstairs, a step at a time.
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Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a t...
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When in doubt, tell the truth.
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Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.
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Never learn to do anything: if you don't learn, you'll always find someone else to do it for you.
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There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of s...
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Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and ...
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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
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Virtue has never been as respectable as money.
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Frankness is a jewel; only the young can afford it
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Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
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It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
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The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning ...
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I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one
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Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the one...
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Be good and you will be lonely.
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Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but becau...
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I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things ...
MARK TWAIN
When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.
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It is more trouble to make a maxim than it is to do right
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The very ink in which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
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Prejudice cannot see the things that are because it is always looking for things that aren't
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Prophecy: Two bull's eyes out of a possible million
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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be prai...
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Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be w...
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The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
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Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, a...
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Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
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It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure tha...
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Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
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The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed rig...
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But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one...
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It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
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It is by the goodness of God that we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech...
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Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself
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I've never let my school interfere with my education.
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There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ...
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A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes
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He said, 'I've never seen a festival where the whole nation gets behind an event. The Cup astonishes...
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When I was a boy on the Mississippi River there was a proposition in a township there to discontinue...
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Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so
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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are ...
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To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman
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Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human ra...
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I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places
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Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.
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God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage
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A crowded police court docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty
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It was a soft, reposeful summer landscape, as lovely as a dream, and as lonesome as Sunday.
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There is nothing like instances to grow hair on a bald-headed argument.
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Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgress...
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It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
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Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighbor...
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One of my theories is that the hearts of men are about alike, no matter what their skin color.
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What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his he...
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When we set about accounting for a Napoleon or a Shakespeare or a Raphael or a Wagner or an Edison o...
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Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what per...
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Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your editor will d...
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Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting...
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Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it...
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Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
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Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,...
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Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.
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A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; t...
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Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the st...
MARK TWAIN
Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to...
MARK TWAIN
As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out.
MARK TWAIN
When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.
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Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
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When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a te...
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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True ...
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There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were...
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The lack of money is the root of all evils.
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People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.
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My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water.
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Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than...
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Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled
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Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would...
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich...
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Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.
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I do not like work even when someone else does it.
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All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. ...
MARK TWAIN
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Traini...
MARK TWAIN
It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedo...
MARK TWAIN
Youth is wonderful. It's a shame to waste it on the young.
MARK TWAIN
There are some books that refuse to be written. They stand their ground year after year and will not...
MARK TWAIN
You are a coward when you even seem to have backed down from a thing you openly set out to do
MARK TWAIN
I asked Tom if countries always apologized when they had done wrong, and he says - "Yes; the little ...
MARK TWAIN
It isn't so astonishing the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things that I can...
MARK TWAIN
Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had h...
MARK TWAIN
The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession, what there is of it
MARK TWAIN
In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man what ...
MARK TWAIN
I am glad the old masters are all dead, and I only wish they had died sooner.
MARK TWAIN
Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in
MARK TWAIN
I have traveled more than any one else, and I have noticed that even the angels speak English with a...
MARK TWAIN
Nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and c...
MARK TWAIN
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children
MARK TWAIN