(っ ºДº)っ try 1ClickPost.com paste text to share free

Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.


Ambrose Bierce

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Heaven lies about us in our infancy! Shades of the prison-house begin to close upon the growing boy
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH
Heaven lies about us in our infancy! Shades of the prison-house begin to close upon the growing boy.
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH
Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting: The soul that rises with us, our life's star, Hath had el...
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH
There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY
Half the lies our opponents tell about us are untrue.
BOYLE ROCHE
Character building begins in our infancy, and continues until death.
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
Character building begins in our infancy and continues until death.
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT
If you love her. If you want her to stay. Fight for her.
JANET GURTLER THE TRUTH ABOUT US
With a good friend it’s not always how long you knew them, but how well you did.
JANET GURTLER THE TRUTH ABOUT US
Knowledge is learning about the world outside us; wisdom is learning about the world within us.
JIM GENOVESE
I thought about it a lot (during Christmas break). Coach had us in the locker room for an hour after...
EBONIE HALLIBURTON
No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in today. No peace lies in the future which is ...
FRA GIOVANNI GIOCONDO
More people know about us all over the nation than in our own backyard which is pretty typical.
KATHLEEN MITCHELL
just as soon as they send us the equipment — we're hoping in about a month.
JUDY DAVIS
Self-improvement books, friends, and polite strangers often tell soothing lies about our physical ap...
MARTHA BECK
If we want to see real change in our world, it begins with us all on an individual basis.
DIONNA L. HAYDEN
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON
Polite strangers often tell soothing lies about our physical appearance that prevent many of us from...
MARTHA BECK
It was pretty good. They got our name out. Probably about 50 schools came and contacted us.
BRETT SMITH
And now people all over the world know about us.
JACK KELLEY
too many of us spend our time trying to chase happiness through wealth and status. however few of us...
DAROLL SAKAMOTO
Diversity is about all of us, and about us having to figure out how to walk through this world toget...
JACQUELINE WOODSON
I fight fairly, and in good faith.
EDMOND ABOUT
Marriage, in life, is like a duel in the midst of a battle.
EDMOND ABOUT
We aren't telling ourselves lies; we're composing heroic narratives that tell us essential truths ab...
DAN MCADAMS
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreason...
US CONSTITUTION
The draft begins for us at about pick 22. Up until then, we'll be spectators, I think.
BILL POLIAN
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE
The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. ...
VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE
It was pretty disappointing to get away from something that worked so well for us. After the game we...
AARON GAGNON
The main thing was that he genuinely cared about us as people, ... And in pro football, that's prett...
DAMON HUARD
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON
What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON
Heaven doesn't only teach humans about virtue and divinity.
It also shows us about politics and...
TOBA BETA
What of us lies in the hearts of others is our truest and deepest self.
JOHANN GOTTFRIED VON HERDER
Maybe our favorite quotations say more about us than about the stories and people we're quoting.
JOHN GREEN
Art shows us that human beings still matter in a world where money talks the loudest, where computer...
JOHN MAEDA
To the world who watched us on July 4 and in the months afterward, we say thank you for all your ent...
JENNIFER HARRIS
Nothing is nearer to us than heaven. The earth is beneath our feet, and we tread upon it, but heaven...
NIKOS KAZANTZAKIS
But as the Pope has a long arm, which might reach me in France, I have gone a little out of the way ...
EDMOND ABOUT
In a way life begins to feel better once we realize that our sins do not own us and our fear can not...
BRIELL ADAMS
In a way life begins to feel better once we realize that our sins do not own us and our fear can not...
BRIELL ADAMS
Fiction may be about lying – on the surface, anyway – but fiction is about hiding the truth behi...
STACIA KANE
The world is too much with us; late and soon, getting and spending, we lay waste our powers: Little ...
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH
The modern museum has multiple purposes - to curate and preserve, to research, and to reach out to t...
KATE WILLIAMS
Between us and heaven or hell there is only life, which is the frailest thing in the world.
BLAISE PASCAL
The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have a greater capacity to diminish us th...
CHERYL HUGHES
Our choice to become independent again was about our belief in the relationship between us and our f...
TAYLOR HANSON
While we do our good works let us not forget that the real solution lies in a world in which charity...
CHINUA ACHEBE
I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the tru...
ADLAI E. STEVENSON II
Elvis sells all over the world, and that's where the real opportunity for growth lies for us, to tak...
JACK SODEN
God has placed seed of greatness in each of us but the key lies in discovering our purpose and tilli...
SUNDAY ADELAJA
Everything smaller than Heaven bores us because only Heaven is bigger than our hearts.
PETER KREEFT
It wasn't about Indiana. It was just about us coming out and playing our game.
GLENN ROBINSON
A trillion here, a trillion there and pretty soon you're talking about real money.
DANIEL HANNAN
The violence in the world comes about because we human beings are forever creating barriers between ...
EDMUND LEACH
A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking about real money.
EVERETT DIRKSEN
A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking about real money.
EVERETT DIRKSEN
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.
ABOUT LIFE
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their mo...
ABOUT LIFE
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
ABOUT LIFE
At about six in the morning of July 3, 1860, while I was watering my petunias, and thinking of noth...
EDMOND ABOUT
Glorious indeed is the world of God around us, but more glorious the world of God within us. There...
HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW
If life were measured by accomplishments, most of us would die in infancy.
A. P. GOUTHEY
If life were measured by accomplishments, most of us would die in infancy.
A. P. GOUTHEY
Getting stuck in the past and whining about who had hurt us hampers our personal growth and submerge...
BALROOP SINGH
What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.
ANON.
What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.
HENRY DAVID THOREAU
Laugh and cry and tell stories. Sad stories about bodies stolen, bodies no longer here. Enraging sto...
ELI CLARE
We are the people our parents warned us about.
SOURCE UNKNOWN
We are the people our parents warned us about.
JIMMY BUFFETT
We are the people our parents warned us about.
JIMMY BUFFET
Could you please be as silent as the G in lasagna?
ABOUT LIFE
It was in the Papal States that I studied the Roman Question. I traveled over every part of the coun...
EDMOND ABOUT
I have been further enlightened by the conversation and correspondence of some illustrious Italians,...
EDMOND ABOUT
The real ceremony begins where the formal one ends, when we take up a new way, our minds and hearts ...
LINDA HOGAN
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people t...
US CONSTITUTION
It's not just about the water for us - it's about our identity.
MARGARET MORA
Great theatre is about challenging how we think and encouraging us to fantasize about a world we asp...
WILLEM DAFOE
How many languages are there in the world? How about 5 billion! Each of us talks, listens, and think...
SOURCE UNKNOWN
Icons are our windows into the Kingdom of Heaven, transporting us beyond our brokenness and helping ...
CORNELIA MERCHANT
The world changes, we do not, therein lies the irony that kills us.
ANNE RICE
The thing about us businesspeople is that we love our customers rich and our employees poor.
NICK HANAUER
It is more from carelessness about truth than from intentionally lying that there is so much falseho...
SAMUEL JOHNSON
We're looking for survival here. This is us we're talking about, we really need to turn this around....
FENNER STEVENSON
In Addison County, if we have a change of about 100 jobs that's a pretty big change for us.
JAMIE STEWART
Our parents deserve our honor and respect for giving us life itself. Beyond this they almost always ...
EZRA TAFT BENSON
He lied about it afterward, under oath and repeatedly,
PATRICK FITZGERALD
The world is waiting for us, the world wants to engage with us, the world wants to be friendly with ...
SALMAN KHURSHID
Our Quakers love us. we're big with the Quakers. It's all about cleanliness.
KYAN DOUGLAS
I have faith that the illusions we currently hold about who we are will not sustain us. I trust huma...
AMY MCTEAR
I keep thinking about blood, I dream about it. Wake up thinking about it. Pretty soon I'll be writin...
CASSANDRA CLARE
Heaven have mercy on us all - Presbyterians and Pagans alike - for we are all somehow dreadfully cra...
HERMAN MELVILLE
Heaven have mercy on us all - Presbyterians and Pagans alike - for we are all somehow dreadfully cra...
HERMAN MELVILLE
Spirituality is about what we do about the fire inside of us, about how we channel our eros.
RONALD ROLHEISER
OUR history begins before we are born. We represent the hereditary influences of our race, and our a...
JAMES NASMYTH
The opportunity to deceive others is ever present and often tempting, and each instance casts us ont...
SAM HARRIS
Most of us think we are Perfect but our Perfectness lies in being Imperfect.
JAI SINGH

More Ambrose Bierce

WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous oc...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE
RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.
AMBROSE BIERCE
FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and s...
AMBROSE BIERCE
... the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his coun...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfort...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE
To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE
Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE
Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE
One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE
BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginar...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Faith, noun. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understa...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Happiness, noun. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE
History, n. An account mostly false, of events unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Dentist, n.: A Prestidigitator who, putting metal in one's mouth, pulls coins out of one's pockets.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Optimism, n. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Mad, adj: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE
INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE
TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreea...
AMBROSE BIERCE
I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PREDICAMENT, n. The wage of consistency.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions. Having received an ultima...
AMBROSE BIERCE
DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and im...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum - I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
AMBROSE BIERCE
CREMONA, n. A high-priced violin made in Connecticut.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
AMBROSE BIERCE
BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable fo...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. Formerly these disputes were settled by ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
BAAL, n. An old deity formerly much worshiped under various names. As Baal he was popular with the P...
AMBROSE BIERCE
CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum, _Cogit...
AMBROSE BIERCE
MEEKNESS, n. Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.

M is for Moses,...
AMBROSE BIERCE
TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
AMBROSE BIERCE
TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word...
AMBROSE BIERCE
MOLECULE, n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
FEAST, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, freque...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Vote: The instrument and symbol of a free man's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his c...
AMBROSE BIERCE
LOQUACITY, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.
AMBROSE BIERCE
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Advice is the smallest current coin.
AMBROSE BIERCE
SOPHISTRY, n. The controversial method of an opponent, distinguished from one's own by superior insi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ALDERMAN, n. An ingenious criminal who covers his secret thieving with a pretence of open marauding.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confesse...
AMBROSE BIERCE
WEATHER, n. The climate of the hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does no...
AMBROSE BIERCE
INDECISION, n. The chief element of success; "for whereas," saith Sir Thomas Brewbold, "there is but...
AMBROSE BIERCE
LEONINE, adj. Unlike a menagerie lion. Leonine verses are those in which a word in the middle of a l...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction --prototype of the modern newspa...
AMBROSE BIERCE
APPLAUSE, n. The echo of a platitude.
AMBROSE BIERCE
WORSHIP, n. Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A po...
AMBROSE BIERCE
MISERICORDE, n. A dagger which in mediaeval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an unhors...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . .
AMBROSE BIERCE
ENCOMIAST, n. A special (but not particular) kind of liar.
AMBROSE BIERCE
TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word...
AMBROSE BIERCE
DEGENERATE, adj. Less conspicuously admirable than one's ancestors. The contemporaries of Homer were...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ALIEN, n. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear. In Virginia City, Nevada, he is called the Was...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable ac...
AMBROSE BIERCE
APPETITE, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
AMBROSE BIERCE
CAABA, n. A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved a...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ADOLESCENCE The stage between puberty and adultery.
AMBROSE BIERCE
CREMONA, n. A high-priced violin made in Connecticut.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape pain...
AMBROSE BIERCE
BAAL, n. An old deity formerly much worshiped under various names. As Baal he was popular with the P...
AMBROSE BIERCE
HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads.
AMBROSE BIERCE
FREEDOM, n. Exemption from the stress of authority in a beggarly half dozen of restraint's infinite ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
MEEKNESS, n. Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.M is for Moses, Who slew th...
AMBROSE BIERCE
WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ'...
AMBROSE BIERCE
FRIENDLESS, adj. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth an...
AMBROSE BIERCE
CONSULT, v.i. To seek another's disapproval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PREDICAMENT, n. The wage of consistency.
AMBROSE BIERCE
BASILISK, n. The cockatrice. A sort of serpent hatched form the egg of a cock. The basilisk had a ba...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Strike while your employer has a big contract.
AMBROSE BIERCE
EDITOR, n. A person who combines the judicial functions of Minos, Rhadamanthus and Aeacus, but is pl...
AMBROSE BIERCE
COMMONWEALTH, n. An administrative entity operated by an incalculable multitude of political parasit...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ERUDITION, n. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.So wide his erudition's mighty span, He ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and im...
AMBROSE BIERCE
POSTERITY, n. An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ICONOCLAST, n. A breaker of idols, the worshipers whereof are imperfectly gratified by the performan...
AMBROSE BIERCE
FELON, n. A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed...
AMBROSE BIERCE
IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.
AMBROSE BIERCE
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.A leaf was ri...
AMBROSE BIERCE
DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evol...
AMBROSE BIERCE
CONVERSATION, n. A fair to the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too int...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ARCHBISHOP, n. An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.If I were a jolly archbish...
AMBROSE BIERCE
SCEPTER, n. A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace...
AMBROSE BIERCE
BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters --the most difficult kind of English verse to write acce...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE
DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more object...
AMBROSE BIERCE
NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and...
AMBROSE BIERCE
USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Convention...
AMBROSE BIERCE
SENATE, n. A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE
RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
HUMANITY, n. The human race, collectively, exclusive of the anthropoid poets.
AMBROSE BIERCE
There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE
MILLENNIUM, n. The period of a thousand years when the lid is to be screwed down, with all reformers...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Christian: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
OPTIMIST, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white. A pessimist applied to God for relief....
AMBROSE BIERCE
OPTIMIST, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white. A pessimist applied to God for relief.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, c...
AMBROSE BIERCE
In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary, patriotism is defined as the last refuge of a scoundrel. With a...
AMBROSE BIERCE
LAZINESS, n. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PEDIGREE, n. The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban d...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for...
AMBROSE BIERCE
EMBALM, v.i. To cheat vegetation by locking up the gases upon which it feeds. By embalming their dea...
AMBROSE BIERCE
SERIAL, n. A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a n...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ACQUAINTANCE, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovide...
AMBROSE BIERCE
BOUNTY, n. The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ROBBER, n. A candid man of affairs. It is related of Voltaire that one night he and some traveling c...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE
LUNARIAN, n. An inhabitant of the moon, as distinguished from Lunatic, one whom the moon inhabits. T...
AMBROSE BIERCE
WINE, n. Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum."...
AMBROSE BIERCE
QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property su...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ARRAYED, pp. Drawn up and given an orderly disposition, as a rioter hanged to a lamppost.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PREDILECTION, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Pitted against hard drinking Christians the abstemious Mahometans go down like grass before the scyt...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Opportunity is a favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
AMBROSE BIERCE
UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
AMBROSE BIERCE
From the vast, invisible ocean of moonlight overhead fell, here and here, a slender, broken stream t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
AMBROSE BIERCE
You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE
To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE
To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE
DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE
YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE