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Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.


Erma Bombeck

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Housework can kill you if done right
ERMA BOMBECK
Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECK
Housework, if it is done right, can kill you.
JOHN SKOW
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. -Erma Bombeck.
ERMA BOMBECK
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
PHYLLIS DILLER
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance.
PHYLLIS DILLER
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
PHYLLIS DILLER
Housework won't kill you, but then again, why take the chance?
PHYLLIS DILLER
If you can do it, why you won't do it???
If you have chance why you won't use it?
DEYTH BANGER
Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don't do it.
UNKNOWN
All dope can do for you is kill you . . . the long hard way. And it can kill the people you love rig...
BILLIE HOLIDAY
If it's what you do and you can do it, then you do it.
VAN MORRISON
If you think you can do it, you can.
JOHN BURROUGHS
Why kill yourself? Life will do it for you.
RICHARD BACH
It ain't bragging if you can do it.
DIZZY DEAN
Do the thing and you will have the power.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON
If you strive to do what is right, you will never have to please people. If you strive to please peo...
JOHNNY WALKER
The Board of Directors and I are pleased to recognize Peter's outstanding contribution to the succes...
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We are pleased to close the books on 2004 following the painstaking review of almost five years of f...
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Long-time viewing of Internet violence tend to change a person's temperament, making the person pron...
YOU QUANXI
If you can dream it, you can do it.
ENZO FERRARI
If you don't kill your bad memories, they will kill you.
WOHI PURANA
It is not safe to be in Baghdad, it is patently unsafe and that's true for whatever political persua...
DAVID ENDERS
If you do it right 51 percent of the time you will end up a hero.
ALFRED P. SLOAN
If positive and healthy materials are absent, negative materials are sure to be dominant in the cybe...
YOU QUANXI
In a robust global business environment, our business units operated well in the first quarter. More...
HARRY YOU
If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?
JOHN WOODEN
If you do it right 51 percent of the time you will end up a hero.
ALFRED SLOAN
If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have the time to do it over?
JOHN WOODEN
If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?
JOHN WOODEN
If you haven't got the time to do it right, when will you find the time to do it over?
JEFFERY J. MAYER
If you don´t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?
JOHN WOODEN
If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?
JOHN WOODEN
If you do not online-enable a game, it could kill you.
TONY HAWK
You won't do any more housework? Then you go to the bin.
KATE MILLETT
Technocracy wants to do everything by machinery. . . . Machinery is doing just fine. If it can't kil...
WILL ROGERS
what's right? If you want something, you have the right to take it. If you want to do something, you...
BRET EASTON ELLIS
I don't care if you're doing haute cuisine or burgers and pizza, just do it right.
GRANT ACHATZ
If you persevere long enough, if you do the right things long enough, the right things will happen.
IAN MILLAR
If you can't do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.
WILLIAM H. MCRAVEN
If you don't have time to do it right, now, when will you have time redo it?
STEVE HOGAN
If it is going to kill you,” Enso Roshi says, “then let it kill you.
T. SCOTT MCLEOD
He will kill again if you set him loose.
KATIE OWENS
Journalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you're at it.
HORACE GREELEY
If you believe the world is conspiring against you it will just do that; you will help on by your pe...
BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA
I will kill you, I swear it!
I will kill you until you're dead!

~Switzerland
HETALIA
Have a robust mindset; dare to move any mountain!
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH
Love: It will kill you and save you, both
LAUREN OLIVER
If it doesn't kill you it makes you strong.
HERM EDWARDS
You will kill ten of us, we will kill one of you, but in the end, you will tire of it first.
Hồ CHí MINH
If you are going to tell people the truth, be funny or they will kill you.
BILLY WILDER
If you don't think baseball is a big deal, don't do it. But if you do, do it right.
TOM SEAVER
My pride is killing me and will kill you to if you decide to come along!!
ARDIT BALISHA
You will kill 10 of our men, and we will kill 1 of yours, and in the end it will be you who tire of ...
HO CHI MINH
What you do will project you
SOTONYE ANGA
If you think you can do it, or you think you can't do it, You are right.
HENRY FORD
Journalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you're at it.
HORACE GREELEY
If you don't have a righteous objective,eventually you will suffer. When you do the right thing for ...
CHIN-NING CHU
God walked with humanity in the cool of the day and gave them the most difficult and hottest parts o...
JOEY TALLADINO
If you ever kill off Saphira, I will hunt you down.
CHRISTOPHER PAOLINI
God walked with humanity in the cool of the day and gave them the most difficult and hottest parts o...
JOEY TALLADINO
If you don't think it.
You'll never do it!
ANTHONY T. HINCKS
If you keep on doing what you do, you will never be more than who you are right now.
MASTER SHIFU
It doesn't matter if you do everything right, if you dress the right way and the right way and follo...
KATJA MILLAY
If you won't do it right than you shouldn't do it at all.
LAURA E. BRUSSEAU
He told her, 'If you do what I say, I won't kill you,'
VERNON KEENAN
If you do not do the right thing, the wrong things will eventually come bite you in your butt.
TARY C.
If you neglect your work, you will dislike it; if you do it well, you will enjoy it
SIR PHILIP SIDNEY
If you strike at, imprison, or kill us, out of our prisons or graves we will still evoke a spirit th...
JAMES CONNOLLY
You have the right to remain silent,' the big cop said in his robot's voice. 'If you do not choose t...
STEPHEN KING
If you do not believe you can do it then you have no chance at all.
ARSENE WENGER
I don't think anything is unrealistic if you believe you can do it.
RICHARD L. EVANS
Protest long enough that you are right, and you will be wrong. It is easier to admire hard work if y...
Not too long ago, if you did 75 percent of the things you did right, it was okay. Now, if you don't ...
JOHN SPOELHOF
That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset some...
LEWIS BLACK
If you do it to impress, you will get stressed. If you do it to express, you are so blessed.
EPHDAN
If you do good, you may forget it; but if you do ill, you will always remember it.
VIKRANT PARSAI
Do. Then talk. In that order.
SOTERO M LOPEZ II
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all ov...
JOAN RIVERS
Just like any one of us, they started with no road map or guarantee of success. But they went out an...
CAMILLE SWEENEY
If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it
DALE CARNEGIE
If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it
MARK TWAIN
If you let other people do it for you, they will do it to you.
ROBERT ANTHONY
If you have to kill a snake, kill it once and for all
JAPANESE PROVERB
The house you built can cave you in if you didn't do it right.
UNARINE RAMARU
If you like what you do, it becomes you, when it becomes you, do it will inspire you
RAPHAEL KSOBIECH
You are about to have your first experience with a Greek lunch. I will kill you if you pretend to li...
JACKIE KENNEDY
If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.
ZORA NEALE HURSTON
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes -- and six months later you have to start all...
JOAN RIVERS
If you do not manage power, it will burn you.
IKECHUKWU JOSEPH
If you must kill a man, it costs you nothing to be polite about it.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
If you don't have time to do it right, you must have time to do it over.
UNKNOWN
If you don't have time to do it right you must have time to do it over.
SOURCE UNKNOWN
Do you know how many thousands of actors in L.A. would kill for the publicity he's getting right now...
AL BOWMAN
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
MAE WEST
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigera...
ERMA BOMBECK
If someone gives you so-called good advice, do the opposite; you can be sure it will be the right th...
ANSELM FEURBAH
If you do your job right and become efficient at it, you won't get hurt.
WAYNE POLLET
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough
MAE WEST
If someone gives you so-called good advice, do the opposite; you can be sure it will be the right th...
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On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the s...
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Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishe...
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Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
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Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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How does a doctor feel when he loses a patient in the emergency room? The same way a child feels wh...
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Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice' ?
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You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're mergi...
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffer ...
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Skiing: I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffe...
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By the age of six the average child will have completed the basic American education.... From televi...
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I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
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Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrige...
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All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white...
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.
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Next to hot chicken soup, a tattoo of an anchor on your chest, and penicillin, I consider a honeymoo...
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Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that ...
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It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have ...
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The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect ...
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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work...
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the k...
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I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. BY all accou...
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All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white...
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It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows
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I was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from...
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In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
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When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if ...
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Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for ...
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all...
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But doctor, where is the umbilical cord? New technology, it's wireless.
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I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times...
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed un...
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's...
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I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food
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Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contempora...
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend-and he's a priest.
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Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you...
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The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly ad...
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I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout...
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A child develops individuality long before he discovers taste
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You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if...
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, "Never mind! I'll do it myself."
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It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, "No, thank you," to dessert that night. And f...
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At some point in your life if you're lucky you throw practicality to the wind and start living.
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In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
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If I had my life to live over...

Someone asked me the other day if I had my life t...
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if...
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When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if...
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Girls mature faster than boys, cost more to raise, and statistics show that the old saw about girls ...
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten...
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Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
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There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it...
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People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same...
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of ta...
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I finally found a doctor with a lot of patients, and he didn't have any patience to listen to me.
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When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.
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It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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Never accept a drink from a Urologist.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. -Erma Bombeck.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their...
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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians ...
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Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gift...
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Children make your life important.
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In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents nev...
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Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.
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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians ...
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Have you any idea how many kids it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one t...
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Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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I was going to have inner peace if I had to break a few heads to do it.
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Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until...
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Next to hot chicken soup, a tattoo of an anchor on your chest, and penicillin, I consider a honeymoo...
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For years [my wedding ring] has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my ...
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No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
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Have you any idea how many kids it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one t...
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A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
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There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's...
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Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but moth...
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I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying "Open!"...
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along. . . .
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God created man, but I could do better.
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House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I ...
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There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after s...
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Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You're glitter glue.
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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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You already know something you don't even know that you know.
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My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's ha...
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What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when...
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I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: Checkout Time...
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If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity...
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigera...
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I am not a glutton -- I am an explorer of food.
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Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding...
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of ta...
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Great dreams... never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dream...
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A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
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Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, No, thank you, to dessert that night. And for...
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Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it w...
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of ta...
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a s...
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A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
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Dreams have but one owner at a time. That is why dreamers are lonely.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
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Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the...
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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Never order food in excess of your body weight.
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Phrases and their actual meanings: "My teacher has never liked me." Expect a phone call before lunch...
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You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, ...
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In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television.
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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've nev...
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When you're an orthodox worrier, some days are worse than others
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog...
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Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
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I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many fa...
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had ...
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For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
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Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
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If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?
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I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 dire...
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.
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When God Created Mothers"

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth ...
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Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula...
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God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
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What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hol...
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There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearin...
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of ta...
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned,...
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When God was creating fathers, He started with a tall frame. An angel nearby said, What kind of fath...
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We've got a generation now who were born with semi equality. They don't know how it was before, so t...
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Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
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Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.
ERMA BOMBECK
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of ...
ERMA BOMBECK
Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold ...
ERMA BOMBECK
I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I...
ERMA BOMBECK
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It&#...
ERMA BOMBECK
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my hu...
ERMA BOMBECK
Never have more children than you have car windows.
ERMA BOMBECK
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
ERMA BOMBECK
Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog ...
ERMA BOMBECK
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are u...
ERMA BOMBECK
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the...
ERMA BOMBECK
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a st...
ERMA BOMBECK
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn'...
ERMA BOMBECK
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
ERMA BOMBECK
You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, ...
ERMA BOMBECK
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television.
ERMA BOMBECK
Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
ERMA BOMBECK
Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK
Dreams have but one owner at a time. That is why dreamers are lonely.
ERMA BOMBECK
Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents nev...
ERMA BOMBECK
Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.
ERMA BOMBECK
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians ...
ERMA BOMBECK
Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the...
ERMA BOMBECK
The bad times I can handle. It's the good times that drive me crazy. When is the other shoe going to...
ERMA BOMBECK
Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
ERMA BOMBECK
As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all ...
ERMA BOMBECK
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it's unplanned...
ERMA BOMBECK
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are thre...
ERMA BOMBECK
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
ERMA BOMBECK
Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
ERMA BOMBECK
There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've...
ERMA BOMBECK
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
ERMA BOMBECK
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got ...
ERMA BOMBECK
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishe...
ERMA BOMBECK