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I've never really considered doing stand up, but I have done readings/spoken word things fairly often in which I'll just tell a bunch of stories and run off at the mouth. I'm a big tangent person.


Laurie Notaro

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The production gives you a real life simulation. You've got to trust each other and get it done. It'...
LAURIE GEIGEL
[Right now] it is not highly contagious. This one has not made that mutational step. That is the sho...
LAURIE GARRETT
George's defensive work this year has been absolutely fantastic. If you look at the amount of work h...
LAURIE FISHER
Certainly at this stage, all he has to do is just play the appropriate football during the Super 14 ...
LAURIE FISHER
Sadly, it takes her death, coming just seven months after diagnosis, and the fact that she had never...
LAURIE FENTON
One of the reasons Rick and I wanted the opportunity was to work with really talented community memb...
LAURIE ERTZ
If not (the students), who? It's their tomorrow we're dealing with here. We've got to get them engag...
LAURIE DAVID
We came out with our cameras looking for big waves, but there just aren't any.
LAURIE CUTHBERTSON
It is hard to put in words when you attain the goal you set for yourself. We put together three game...
LAURIE KELLY
I think they call it a letdown game. We just really got out outplayed at Montana State. We just neve...
LAURIE KELLY
If we only have 18 appeals, then that's pretty good.
LAURIE COOPER
I'm not surprised. I don't think anyone wants to lose their home.
LAURIE COOK
It has been proven having a pet companion can lower blood pressure, so I think that's important as w...
LAURIE COOK
But that has calmed down at this point.
LAURIE COOK
We have one goal in mind. Everybody we meet is standing in the way of that goal. We can't be thinkin...
LAURIE GLASS
I had no clue what to expect. But a car going 50 mph can do a lot of damage. And there are kids gett...
LAURIE GLASS
It was a really good day for all of us. It was a good, consistent day all around.
LAURIE GLASS
The people who were behind my abuse were very clever. They had created something which would be so d...
LAURIE MATTHEW
There's an undeniable pleasure in stepping into an open-top sports car driven by a beautiful woman. ...
HUGH LAURIE
The sexual mechanisms of the two genders are just not compatible, that’s the horrible truth of it....
HUGH LAURIE
Believe me, when an actress is told that her very name is synonymous with bad acting, she's had ...
PIPER LAURIE
I have always stuck up for Western medicine. You can chew all the celery you want, but without antib...
HUGH LAURIE
My husband is leaving me. No dramas, no slammed doors - well, OK, a few slammed doors - and no suitc...
LAURIE GRAHAM
The glory of American television is Dennis Franz.
HUGH LAURIE
As everyone knows, there is only one way to fry chicken correctly. Unfortunately, most people think ...
LAURIE COLWIN
The best way to feel at ease in the kitchen is to learn at someone's knee.
LAURIE COLWIN
I love to eat out, but even more, I love to eat in.
LAURIE COLWIN
One of the delights of life is eating with friends; second to that is talking about eating. And, for...
LAURIE COLWIN
It doesn't rain at all in California. Once a month, a man drives through spraying Evian.
HUGH LAURIE
Barely halfway back, exhaustion sets in. What if I don’t make it? An edge of panic gets intercepte...
LAURIE NADEL
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
LAURIE ANDERSON
Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better.
LAURIE ANDERSON
They say that Heaven is like TV... a perfect little world, that doesn't really need you.
LAURIE ANDERSON
Friendship is not possible between two women, one of whom is very well dressed.
LAURIE COLWIN
I think there is a basic comfort in clever people who know things.
HUGH LAURIE
I love working fictional characters into a piece of history. It plays to my strengths, which are cha...
LAURIE GRAHAM
Far more than dreading ending up in a care home myself, I dread having to put my husband in one.
LAURIE GRAHAM
There's a lot going on. People are taking children into consideration and promoting families more.
LAURIE ARMSTRONG
This center is dedicated to long-term research, looking at future innovations and concepts that will...
LAURIE ARMSTRONG
Songs and Stories from Moby Dick,
LAURIE ANDERSON
I'm finding it increasingly difficult to simply walk down the street. In New York, I dashed in t...
HUGH LAURIE
I've never minded solitude. For a writer, it's a natural condition. But caring for a dementi...
LAURIE GRAHAM
Mr. and Mrs. Little have won tonight!
HUGH LAURIE
It's not his physical gait that is transforming, ... It's the having one hand. It's being one-handed...
HUGH LAURIE
I'm just going to draw out three at random, and everyone else can just lump it.
HUGH LAURIE
Unhappiness is an unfinished state; happy people don't need our help.
HUGH LAURIE
When love is gone, there's always justice. And when justice is gone, there's always force. A...
LAURIE ANDERSON
It's a fun thing to do: Go to a shooting range with a buddy, knock off a few rounds, release str...
LAURIE HOLDEN
I love ghost stories but I can't really watch them, especially not by myself because then I can&...
LAURIE HOLDEN