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Is this some kind of joke?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out."

"Maybe you think it's funny to put up signs about people who want to commit suicide."

"Are you about to?"

"And what if I was?"

"I wouldn't tell you the gorgeous reasons I have discovered for going on living."

"What would you do?"

"I'd ask you to name the rock-bottom price you'd charge to go on living for just one more week.


Kurt Vonnegut

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Like threads of silver seen through crystal beads
Let love through good deeds show.
Character consists of what you do on the third and forth tries.
My dreams were all my own; I accounted for them to nobody; they were my refuge when annoyed - my dea...
The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
This is as true in everyday life as it is in battle: we are given one life and the decision is ours ...
Reality isn't what it used to be.
...all life is only a set of pictures in the brain, among which there is no difference betwixt those...
You have dreamed too well, O wise archdreamer, for you have drawn dream's gods away from the world o...
The most merciful thing in the world . . . is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its c...
That which is static and repetitive is boring. That which is dynamic and random is confusing. In bet...
Close scrutiny will show that most "crisis situations" are opportunities to either advance, or stay ...
Study the situation thoroughly, go over in your imagination the various courses of action possible t...
The artist is the confidant of nature, flowers carry on dialogues with him through the graceful bend...
I always turn to the sports pages first, which record people's accomplishments. The front page has n...
You could not step twice into the same rivers; for other waters are ever flowing on to you.
Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal.
Fate tried to conceal him by naming him Smith.
Henry James chews more than he bites off.
The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life...
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct or more uncertain in its s...
Those who are lifting the world upward and onward are those who encourage more than criticize.
No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was human nature.
One loses all the time which he might employ to better purpose.
Falsehood has an infinity of combinations, but truth has only one mode of being.
Man is born free and everywhere he is in chains.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Awards are merely the badges of mediocrity.
It is sometimes expedient to forget who we are.
Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence.
Many people seem to think that opportunity means a chance to get money without earning it.
Many of us have heard opportunity knocking at our door, but by the time we unhooked the chain, pushe...
If you get up one time more than you fall, you will make it through.
One thing you can give and still keep is your word.
Behind every successful man there are usually a lot of unsuccessful years.
Mankind's worst enemy is fear of work.
Before a man can wake up and find himself famous he has to wake up and find himself.
Analysis and synthesis ordinarily clarify matters for us about as much as taking a Swiss watch apart...
Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough.
If the truth be known, most successes are built on a multitude of failures.
The price is what you pay; the value is what you receive.
The hardest work in the world is that which should have been done yesterday.
An expert knows all the answers - if you ask the right questions.
If someone offers to furnish a sure test, ask what the test was which made the sure test sure.
Religion is meant to be bread for daily use, not cake for special occasions.
Think highly of yourself, for the world takes you at your own estimate.
To save time is to lengthen life.
Our wisdom comes usually from our experience, and our experience comes largely from our experience.
Spare minutes are the Gold-dust of time; the portions of life most fruitful in good and evil; the ga...
Life is too short to be taken seriously.
A good marriage winds up as a meeting of minds, which had better be pretty good to start with.
A good name, like good will, is attained by many actions and may be lost by one.
Some families can trace their ancestors back three hundred years, but can't tell you where their chi...
If a man defrauds you one time, he is a rascal; if he does it twice, you are a fool.
Gossip is sometimes referred to as halitosis of the mind
The guilty catch themselves.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Having supplied them with names, omnipotence, justice, knowledge, Providence, - what are they?
The best leader is the one who has the sense to surround himself with outstanding people and self-re...
It is strange that we do not temper our resentment of criticism with a thought for our many faults w...
You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea
The best answer to answer to anger is silence.
A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he is talking about.
People who know the least always argue the most.
If you look for the positive things in life; you will find them.
What we are doing at the moment is more that just one thing added to the rest; it is a memoir.
The human mind must believe in something, so why not let it believe what it does believe.
It is better to live richly than to die rich.
Desire for security keeps littleness little and threatens the great with smallness.
Mistakes are a great educator when one is honest enough to admit them and willing to learn from them
Don't mind criticism. If it is untrue, disregard it; if unfair, keep from irritation; if it is ignor...
Cheerfulness greases the axles of the world.
The shortest answer is the doing the thing.
When they took the fourth amendment, I was silent because I don't deal drugs. When they took the six...
Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.
I'm a solipsist and, I have to say, I'm surprised there aren't more of us.
If your children look up to you, you've made a success of life's biggest job.
A patient man is one who can put up with himself.
Peace won by the compromise of principles is a short-lived achievement.
Prayer doesn't change things. It changes people and they change things.
You can buy education, but wisdom is a gift from God.
The written word can be erased - not so with the spoken word.
The good Lord gave me a brain that works so fast that in one moment I can worry as much as it would ...
Perpetual worry will get you to one place ahead of time - the cemetery.
Neurotics chase after people and jobs they don't really want, just to prove that they are like every...
The secret of success is to do all you can do without thought of success.
There is a growing suspicion that what the world needs now is a religion that will cover the other s...
Get into the habit of asking yourself if what you are doing can be handled by someone else.
One thing about the school of experience is that it will repeat the lesson if you flunk the first ti...
Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light.
Successful men follow the same advice they prescribe for others.
A college education never hurt anybody who was willing to learn after he got it.
Catch your people doing something right and let them know you appreciate it.
There are many roads to hate, but envy is the shortest of them all.
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Courage is always greatest when blended with meekness; intellectual ability is most admired when it ...
The man who has strong opinions and always says what he thinks is courageous - and friendless.
Friendship is love with understanding.
Your life can't go according to plan if you have no plan.

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All was forgiven.

All living things were brothers, and all dead things were even more so.
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Live by the foma* that make you brave and kind and healthy and happy.

*Harmless untruths
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All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist.
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They like life alright, but that they would like it even better if they could know that it was going...
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if there is a god, he sure hates people
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It was a thunderingly beautiful experience -- voluptuous, sexual, dangerous, and expensive as hell.
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Unusual travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
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All time is all time. It does not change. It does not lend itself to warnings or explanations. It si...
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I really wonder what gives us the right to wreck this poor planet of ours.
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Lot's wife, of course, was told not to look back where all those people and their homes had been...
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I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.
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There is never a shortage anywhere of lawyers eager to attack the First Amendment, as though it were...
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Socialism" is no more an evil word than "Christianity." Socialism no more prescribed Joseph Stalin a...
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Round and round we spin, with feet of lead and wings of tin.
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If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph:
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FOR THE...
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You asked the impossible of a machine and the machine complied.
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I...
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Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be. -Kurt Vonnegut.
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We could have saved [the Earth] but we were too damned cheap.
KURT VONNEGUT
All right - I'll tell you what you did for me: you went for happy, silly, beautiful walks with me.
KURT VONNEGUT
It may be that the most striking thing about members of my literary generation in retrospect will be...
KURT VONNEGUT
I am from a family of artists. Here I am, making a living in the arts. It has not been a rebellion. ...
KURT VONNEGUT
But I have to say this in defense of humankind: In no matter what era in history, including the Gard...
KURT VONNEGUT
Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. ...
KURT VONNEGUT
I don't reveal to her that I love her. I keep poker faced. She might as well be looking at a cantalo...
KURT VONNEGUT
The truth is, we know so little about life, we don't really know what the good news is and what the ...
KURT VONNEGUT
In case you haven't noticed, as the result of a shamelessly rigged election in Florida, in which tho...
KURT VONNEGUT
The bounties of space, of infinite outwardness, were three: empty heroics, low comedy, and pointless...
KURT VONNEGUT
If you can do no good, at least do no harm.
KURT VONNEGUT
The year was 2081, and everyone was finally equal.
KURT VONNEGUT
Well, I know," she said. "You'll pretend you were men instead of babies, and you'll be played in the...
KURT VONNEGUT
I do not say that children at war do not die like men, if they have to die. To their everlasting hon...
KURT VONNEGUT
And a step backward, after making a wrong turn, is a step in the right direction.
KURT VONNEGUT
I am a very bad scientist. I will do anything to make a human being feel better, even if it's unscie...
KURT VONNEGUT
every grotesquely rich American represents property, privileges, and pleasures that have been denied...
KURT VONNEGUT
The Money River, where the wealth of the nation flows. We were born on the banks of it-and so were m...
KURT VONNEGUT
May I ask you a highly personal question?"

"It's what life does all the time.
KURT VONNEGUT
Be fruitful, and multiply.
KURT VONNEGUT
Eliot did to the word love what the Russians did to the word democracy. If Eliot is going to love ev...
KURT VONNEGUT
If you would be unloved and forgotten, be reasonable.
KURT VONNEGUT
Poverty is a relatively mild disease for even a very flimsy American soul, but uselessness will kill...
KURT VONNEGUT
Still and all, why bother? Here's my answer. Many people need desperately to receive this message: I...
KURT VONNEGUT