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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.


Groucho Marx

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When poverty comes in the door love flies out the window.
PROVERB
I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX
When ignorance opens the door, reason flies out the window.
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX
The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN
The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN
I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN
Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW
With his two hands he props up his jaw. He passes without a word. Perhaps he does not see me. One of...
SAMUEL BECKETT
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE
Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER
Love like a shadow flies when substance love pursues;Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursu...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
Love like a shadow flies when substance love pursues;
Pursuing that that flies, and flying what...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
When mistrust comes in, love goes out.
IRISH SAYINGS
Money just draws flies.
MAHALIA JACKSON
When you have less revenue coming in the door, you have more money going out the door. You have to f...
MIKE LEE
One argument goes that recessions are good for female artists because when money flies out the windo...
JERRY SALTZ
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
GROUCHO MARX
The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH
The magic of greedyness is: "Money goes in to man's pocket & when needed nothing comes out."
JAGANPREET S KOHLI
To a boyling pot flies comes not. [To a boiling pot flies come not.]
GEORGE HERBERT
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX
It's your weakness gives them their strength. Mark how they dare not speak to me. A nameless horror ...
JEAN-PAUL SARTRE
Let it crumble! Let the rocks revile me and flowers wilt at my coming. Your whole universe is not en...
JEAN-PAUL SARTRE
I am a Marxist--of the Groucho tendency.
ANONYMOUS
Your character is your value but love comes out when you are out of character.
RANA AHMAD KHAN
Be extra caution in dealing with anyone who comes to your door asking for work, money or even inform...
NICK RUSSO
I like to exhilarate the audience like Groucho Marx exhilarated me when I was a kid. Also, I enjoy d...
FRANK FERRANTE
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it
GROUCHO MARX
There is no one, says another, whom fortune does not visit once in his life; but when she does not f...
CHARLES MONTESQUIEU
There is no one, says another, whom fortune does not visit once in his life; but when she does not f...
CHARLES DE MONTESQUIEU
It’s easy to fall in love, Ben. The hard part comes when you want out.
COLLEEN HOOVER
Doubt comes in at the window when inquiry is denied at the door.
BENJAMIN JOWETT
It's the witching hour once more-
When the Muse comes out to play.
He calls me through tha...
BELLE WHITTINGTON
When the devil comes knocking on your door simply say "Jesus, it's for you.
ROBIN JONES GUNN
Love or hatred calls for self-surrender. He cuts a fine figure, the warm-blooded, prosperous man, so...
JEAN-PAUL SARTRE
Every gay person must come out. As difficult as it is, you must tell your immediate family. You must...
HARVEY MILK
The future comes slowly, the present flies and the past stands still forever.
FRIEDRICH VON SCHILLER
The thing that made Groucho special was the way he used his body parts. He also had a wicked tongue....
SIDNEY SHELDON
When I understand myself, I understand you, and out of that understanding comes love.
JIDDU KRISHNAMURTI
When poverty comes in at doors, love leaps out at windows
JOHN CLARKE
When poverty comes in at doors, love leaps out at windows.
JOHN CLARKE
I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and ...
ELLIOTT GOULD
Jews talk a lot about God. But actually their god, just like Marx said, is money. Cash!
GEORGE LINCOLN ROCKWELL
I am a Marxist... of the Groucho tendency.
SOURCE UNKNOWN
I have an open door policy when it comes to blame
BRANDON BOYD
People get mad when it comes to money.
DEE LEE
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX
I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX
Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX
There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX
While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX
There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX
Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX
Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX
Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX
Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX
I wouldn't want to belong to a club that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
Whatever it is, I'm against it.
GROUCHO MARX
He goes to work and comes back. When he comes in, he hurries up and gets into the house, unless he n...
CHARLIE SMITH
When you play soft and loose with the district's money when it comes to yourself, you rightly see sk...
THOMAS DEWAR
Would you like to cross another item off this list today?"

"I should like that very much....
SARAH MACLEAN
Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present.
MAE WEST
DOOR MONEY” To focus on door money means one is paying so much attention to the amount of money th...
CARLOS WALLACE
When you play soft and loose with the district's money when it comes to yourself, you rightly see sk...
THOMAS DEWAR
When it's far-reaching and international like this, it's hard to track down. The money gets wired to...
BARBARA PETITO
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX

More Groucho Marx

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX
I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX
Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX
There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX
While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX
There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX
Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX
Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX
Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX
Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX
I wouldn't want to belong to a club that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
Whatever it is, I'm against it.
GROUCHO MARX
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX
How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX
I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX
Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX
I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX
Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it
GROUCHO MARX
How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
GROUCHO MARX
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse
GROUCHO MARX
[When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX
Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX
Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX
I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX
Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I int...
GROUCHO MARX
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX
Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
GROUCHO MARX
I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend
GROUCHO MARX
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
GROUCHO MARX
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
GROUCHO MARX
I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you
GROUCHO MARX
And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX
I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast
GROUCHO MARX
Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX
Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or ...
GROUCHO MARX
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX
I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX
Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX
We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX
I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX
I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX
You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX
Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX
Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX
I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX
Don't point that beard at me, it might go off
GROUCHO MARX
Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is w...
GROUCHO MARX
I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
I don't care to join and club that's prepared to have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I would horsewhip you if I had a horse
GROUCHO MARX
I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX
If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX