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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.


Ambrose Bierce

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Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confesse...
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Pray, n:. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confess...
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Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, c...
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Congratulations, to the people which made gotham series, still need some more and extra work!
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If we ever put research into what the subconscious is we could probably come to the conclusion that ...
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The first and foremost human right or fundamental right is the right to exist.
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I don't know if I have a favorite color.
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It's very special having a new little girl.
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Life is the gift, itself. And any other additions, are the blessings!
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I know these will all be stories some day, and our pictures will become old photographs. We all beco...
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Ambos dijeron que tomara asiento y parecían hablar en serio, así que me senté.
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(All the grief she had suffered over her lifetime had moulded her face into a mask of eternal sadnes...
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I don't know the significance of this, but I find it very interesting.
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Maybe it’s sad that these are now memories. And maybe it’s not sad.
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Water runs if you try to grasp it, but pours onto an open hand.
THE SILVER ELVES
Know the laws before you break them
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To be, or not to be, that is the question.
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It's nice to have things to look forward to.
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Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.
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... the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his coun...
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Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
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Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfort...
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The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
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Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
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The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
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To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
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A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
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Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
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An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
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Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
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Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
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A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
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An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
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A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
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Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
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A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
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Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
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Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
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One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
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TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
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Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreea...
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Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling
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MEEKNESS, n. Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.

M is for Moses,...
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Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confesse...
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INDECISION, n. The chief element of success; "for whereas," saith Sir Thomas Brewbold, "there is but...
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PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction --prototype of the modern newspa...
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APPLAUSE, n. The echo of a platitude.
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WORSHIP, n. Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A po...
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MISERICORDE, n. A dagger which in mediaeval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an unhors...
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ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.
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ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . .
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ENCOMIAST, n. A special (but not particular) kind of liar.
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TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word...
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DEGENERATE, adj. Less conspicuously admirable than one's ancestors. The contemporaries of Homer were...
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ALIEN, n. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
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ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear. In Virginia City, Nevada, he is called the Was...
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PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable ac...
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APPETITE, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
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CAABA, n. A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved a...
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ADOLESCENCE The stage between puberty and adultery.
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CREMONA, n. A high-priced violin made in Connecticut.
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ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about ...
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape pain...
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BAAL, n. An old deity formerly much worshiped under various names. As Baal he was popular with the P...
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HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads.
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FREEDOM, n. Exemption from the stress of authority in a beggarly half dozen of restraint's infinite ...
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MEEKNESS, n. Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.M is for Moses, Who slew th...
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WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ'...
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FRIENDLESS, adj. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth an...
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CONSULT, v.i. To seek another's disapproval of a course already decided on.
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PREDICAMENT, n. The wage of consistency.
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BASILISK, n. The cockatrice. A sort of serpent hatched form the egg of a cock. The basilisk had a ba...
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Strike while your employer has a big contract.
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EDITOR, n. A person who combines the judicial functions of Minos, Rhadamanthus and Aeacus, but is pl...
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COMMONWEALTH, n. An administrative entity operated by an incalculable multitude of political parasit...
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ERUDITION, n. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.So wide his erudition's mighty span, He ...
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PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and im...
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POSTERITY, n. An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, t...
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ICONOCLAST, n. A breaker of idols, the worshipers whereof are imperfectly gratified by the performan...
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FELON, n. A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed...
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IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.
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DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.A leaf was ri...
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DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evol...
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CONVERSATION, n. A fair to the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too int...
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Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.
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PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. ...
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ARCHBISHOP, n. An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.If I were a jolly archbish...
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SCEPTER, n. A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace...
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BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters --the most difficult kind of English verse to write acce...
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more object...
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NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and...
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USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Convention...
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SENATE, n. A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
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RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate t...
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HUMANITY, n. The human race, collectively, exclusive of the anthropoid poets.
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There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
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MILLENNIUM, n. The period of a thousand years when the lid is to be screwed down, with all reformers...
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Christian: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to t...
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OPTIMIST, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white. A pessimist applied to God for relief....
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OPTIMIST, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white. A pessimist applied to God for relief.
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Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one ...
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Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, c...
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In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary, patriotism is defined as the last refuge of a scoundrel. With a...
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LAZINESS, n. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
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PEDIGREE, n. The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban d...
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ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for...
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EMBALM, v.i. To cheat vegetation by locking up the gases upon which it feeds. By embalming their dea...
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SERIAL, n. A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a n...
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ACQUAINTANCE, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A...
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PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovide...
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BOUNTY, n. The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he ...
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EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
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ROBBER, n. A candid man of affairs. It is related of Voltaire that one night he and some traveling c...
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
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LUNARIAN, n. An inhabitant of the moon, as distinguished from Lunatic, one whom the moon inhabits. T...
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WINE, n. Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum."...
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QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own...
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Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property su...
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ARRAYED, pp. Drawn up and given an orderly disposition, as a rioter hanged to a lamppost.
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PREDILECTION, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.
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Pitted against hard drinking Christians the abstemious Mahometans go down like grass before the scyt...
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Opportunity is a favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
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UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
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From the vast, invisible ocean of moonlight overhead fell, here and here, a slender, broken stream t...
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
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Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
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Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
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Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
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PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
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Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
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Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
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Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
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To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
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Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
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Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
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To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
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Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
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Woman absent is woman dead.
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DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
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Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
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Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.
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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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