Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!
George Carlin
Related I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES There is no fear in the word LOVE! For LOVE does not know fear... PHILIP T. M. There is no fear in the word LOVE! For LOVE does not know fear... PHILIP T. M. When we look it is always forward ,but if we did not think of the past at all we would not be able t... GARY F EVANS... You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suctio... AND CITY We have tears in our eyes As we wave our goodbyes, We so loved being with you, we three. ROALD DAHL Desperate Housewives. AND CITY Courtney (Showing Carrie her book cover): Let me talk you through it. Blurred background, aah, fast-... AND CITY It's such a tribute to my show. My show is so good. I feel so blessed to play such a strong characte... AND CITY He's for you and wants to help you be the person He created you to be. CRAIG GROESCHEL Hodor," said Hodor. GEORGE R.R. MARTIN The Brady Bunch: The Complete Fourth Season AND CITY A stud is born! [Stanford] AND CITY Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely ... AND CITY You are the blood of the dragon. You can make a hat. GEORGE R.R. MARTIN Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold ... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN Everybody wonders what happens after you die[Carrie] I'm too busy wondering who's dinging my car in... AND CITY I don't believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties. [Samanth... AND CITY We'll have to find new accommodation tonight, JILL AND I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it. AND CITY Honey, I've decided we're going to Louisiana. JILL AND None of these places, of course, are charging any rent, JILL AND He wanted to argue like this forever. This was better than nothing. There was no exhausting his ange... DAVID DUCHOVNY Hard to restrain, unstable is this mind; it flits wherever it lists. Good it is to control the mind.... GAUTAMA BUDDHA I'm always highly irritated by people who imply that writing fiction is an escape from reality. It i... FLANNERY O'CONNOR Puberty is a phase... fifteen years of rejection is a lifestyle. [Stanford] SEX AND THE CITY Oh my God, she's fashion road-kill! SEX AND THE CITY Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had ne... SEX AND THE CITY Blonde symbolises sexuality and power - it holds very different connotations. The archetypal star ha... MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I don't think she's a lesbian. I think she just ran out of men. [Charlotte] SEX AND THE CITY My dad's quite a conservative person, and he brought me up to be very questioning of the commerc... MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS This obsession with celebrity culture is really unhealthy. I don't want to live my life like tha... MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS It's a slippery slope, Carrie. Without boundaries you never know what might happen. [Miranda] SEX AND THE CITY Middle-Age Girls Gone Wild. SEX AND THE CITY You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suctio... SEX AND THE CITY Desperate Housewives. SEX AND THE CITY I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it. SEX AND THE CITY I could draw up a list of about 30 artists who I apparently sound like. From Lady Gaga, to Katy Perr... MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS 'Rome' vital to HBO TV empire. SEX AND THE CITY Suicide is not glamorous and should not be portrayed in a glamorous light. SEX AND THE CITY When Charlotte really liked somebody she said their whole name. It helped her picture their future m... SEX AND THE CITY I hate the whole 'record your album, do your promo campaign, have a year off to write another al... MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely ... SEX AND THE CITY You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suctio... SEX AND THE CITY Middle-Age Girls Gone Wild. SEX AND THE CITY They practically chased me with torches like I was Fuckenstein! [Samantha] SEX AND THE CITY I don't know. I moved to L.A. to be a rock star and a comedian, and now I'm a contributor to Cosmopo... SEX AND THE CITY It was a typical downtown male mix. Ten percent Wall Street, ten percent real estate, and ten percen... SEX AND THE CITY The only one who should have to pay for a bad relationship is the person in your next relationship. ... SEX AND THE CITY Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something ... SEX AND THE CITY I am absolutely not a roll-on-stage kind of girl! I would be totally freaked out if I didn't war... MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS When you are in the studio, you don't have anybody to feed off of; meanwhile, when you are playi... MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down and sometimes, like now, they get you so hig... SEX AND THE CITY What's the big mystery? It's my vagina, not the sphinx! [Miranda] SEX AND THE CITY In starlit nights I saw you, So cruelly you kissed me. Your lips a magic world, Your ... ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN Man does not live in isolation, we depend upon each other. LAILAH GIFTY AKITA When you are with the wrong person, who doesn't really love you, all you want is to be adored. I... MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS Even when I see a beautiful woman, I think, 'Aw, her life must be amazing.' Everyone does it... MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS They practically chased me with torches like I was Fuckenstein! [Samantha] SEX AND THE CITY It's my birthday. I'm officially old. [Carrie on her 35th Birthday] SEX AND THE CITY Sean (while ice-skating with Carrie): I'm guessing it's easier to balance when you're not smoking. SEX AND THE CITY I want you to look at me, connect with me. This is lovemaking, it's not a porno flick. [Maria] SEX AND THE CITY I'm not really part of that 'L.A. thing' or that celebrity culture. I'm more like so... MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I criticized the whole American songwriting industry and the pop side of it and I was bitter about i... MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I often take things I find in vintage crawls and hand them to a very good seamstress, who then repli... MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS Hi, Mrs. Collier. I'm a Jew now. How are you? [Charlotte] SEX AND THE CITY the lights fade to black. SEX AND THE CITY You shouldn't have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has a problem with it. SEX AND THE CITY Everybody wonders what happens after you die[Carrie] I'm too busy wondering who's dinging my car in ... SEX AND THE CITY I’ve done the merry-go-round, I’ve been through the revolving doors, I feel like I’ve met some... SEX AND THE CITY There are no available men in their thirties in New York. Giuliani had them removed along with the h... SEX AND THE CITY Men in their forties are like the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle: tricky, complicated, and y... SEX AND THE CITY Courtney (Showing Carrie her book cover): Let me talk you through it. Blurred background, aah, fast-... SEX AND THE CITY F*** me badly once, shame on you. F*** me badly twice, shame on me. SEX AND THE CITY Hasty Pudding is no small potatoes (sorry to mix the food references), known for its famous alumni a... SEX AND THE CITY Sex and the City. SEX AND THE CITY Despite the fact that there are over eight million people on the island of Manhattan, there are time... SEX AND THE CITY I'm masquerading as an innocent pop star. MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I'm not going to lie; I'm not a huge remix person. MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I think it's romantic when someone offers me a seat on the subway. [Carrie] SEX AND THE CITY Someone once said that two halves make a whole. And when two halves move in together, it makes a who... SEX AND THE CITY No lady likes to dance or dine, accompanied by a porcupine. Burma Shave. SEX AND THE CITY From my experience, honey, if he seems too good to be truehe probably is. [Samantha] SEX AND THE CITY She made a fence of phrases, which seemed a treachery to herself. ELIZABETH TAYLOR I think sometimes there is no right thing. ROSAMUND HODGE I am broken and healing, but every piece of my heart belong to you. SARAH J. MAAS You do what you love, what you need SARAH J. MAAS The issue isn't whether he loved you, it's how much. Too much. Love can be poison SARAH J. MAAS I turned. Rhysand leaned against the archway into the sitting room, arms crossed, wings nowhere... SARAH J. MAAS He thinks he'll be remembered as the villain in the story. But I forgot to tell him that the villain... SARAH J. MAAS Love is really my nemesis. I never really allowed myself to indulge in such basic things because I w... MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS I really like the look of the 1950s, lots of suburban Americana influences. I'm 5'4', so... MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with your... SEX AND THE CITY The only thing worse than a liar is a bad liar. [Lucy Liu] SEX AND THE CITY I once was broken up with by a guy's doorman. 'I'm sorry Ms. Hobbes, Jonathan won't be coming down. ... SEX AND THE CITY A stud is born! [Stanford] SEX AND THE CITY Hi, Mrs. Collier. I'm a Jew now. How are you? [Charlotte] SEX AND THE CITY When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be ca... SEX AND THE CITY Maybe the past is an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you are to become who ... SEX AND THE CITY Are there some women put in the world just to make you feel bad about yourself? SEX AND THE CITY
More George Carlin
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GEORGE CARLIN Here's an interesting form of murder we came up with: assassination. You know what's interesting abo... GEORGE CARLIN You can take and nail two sticks together like they've never been nailed together before and some fo... GEORGE CARLIN Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. GEORGE CARLIN Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the... GEORGE CARLIN If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. GEORGE CARLIN The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. GEORGE CARLIN Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ... GEORGE CARLIN Meow” means “woof” in cat. GEORGE CARLIN Rhetoric paints with a broad brush. GEORGE CARLIN I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institution... GEORGE CARLIN Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. 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GEORGE CARLIN The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, GEORGE CARLIN Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things GEORGE CARLIN When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse GEORGE CARLIN Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. GEORGE CARLIN Weather forecast for tonight: dark. GEORGE CARLIN The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept. GEORGE CARLIN Always do whatever's next. GEORGE CARLIN Everyone smiles in the same language. GEORGE CARLIN Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the ... GEORGE CARLIN The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elect... GEORGE CARLIN The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of you... 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