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The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.


Ogden Nash

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Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell...
OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
Progress might have been all right once, but it went on too long.
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OGDEN NASH
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
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Some people's money is merited/ And other people's is inherited.
OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker.
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
Too clever is dumb.
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who neve...
OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.
OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
Indoors or out, no one relaxes
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.
OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
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OGDEN NASH
There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the bes...
OGDEN NASH
You can take it as understood That your luck changes only if it's good.
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The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.
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One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence
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OGDEN NASH
If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or ...
OGDEN NASH
Middle age ends and senescence begins, The day your descendants outnumber your friends
OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex. I think it clever of the tur...
OGDEN NASH
They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and they've heard ...
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
Were it not for frustration and humiliation
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OGDEN NASH
And one of his partners asked ''Has he vertigo?'' and the other glanced out and down and said ''Oh n...
OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
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OGDEN NASH
I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
OGDEN NASH
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
OGDEN NASH
No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and ...
OGDEN NASH
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the co...
OGDEN NASH
I think that I shall never see
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Perhaps, unless the billboards fa...
OGDEN NASH
Some primal termite knocked on wood;
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That is why your Cousin...
OGDEN NASH
How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!
OGDEN NASH
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
OGDEN NASH
The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
OGDEN NASH
Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it
OGDEN NASH
I think that I shall never see
a billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboard...
OGDEN NASH
The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
OGDEN NASH
Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.
OGDEN NASH
He without benefit of scruples His fun and money soon quadruples.
OGDEN NASH
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never fo...
OGDEN NASH
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Wh...
OGDEN NASH
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
OGDEN NASH
No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven't done.
OGDEN NASH
Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you ho...
OGDEN NASH
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate ...
OGDEN NASH
They take the paper and they read the headlines, So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard ...
OGDEN NASH
I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that t...
OGDEN NASH
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whene...
OGDEN NASH
Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment linge...
OGDEN NASH
Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
OGDEN NASH
Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return...
OGDEN NASH
Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return...
OGDEN NASH
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind, But it is very difficult to treat because it cannot even...
OGDEN NASH
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think their children are naïve.
OGDEN NASH
Do you think my mind is maturing late,Or simply rotted early?
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Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
OGDEN NASH
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they ...
OGDEN NASH
There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the bes...
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Candy Is dandy, But liquor Is quicker
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One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence
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If called by a panther,/ don't anther.
OGDEN NASH
Purity is obscurity.
OGDEN NASH
Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most ...
OGDEN NASH
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
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OGDEN NASH
I use many props. The props act as cue cards reminding me of what to say next.
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America has run the world for at least the past 50 years, and when you're at the top that long, you ...
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It'll be no picnic. We're going to have to shoot the ball better or it's going to be a long afternoo...
BUD OGDEN
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AMANDA OGDEN
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CYNTHIA OGDEN
I was particularly concerned about seeing the increase in children, because we know that children wh...
CYNTHIA OGDEN
Our dog kind of got a little jumpy ... and the dogs went to kind of say hello and he swung his stick...
AMANDA OGDEN
Don't mark up the Library's copy, you fool! Librarians are Unprankable. They'll track you down! They...
CHARLES OGDEN
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I don't know what it is about the second round, but we just seem to step it up. The second round is ...
CLAY OGDEN
I was surprised that we could see an upward trend in such a short time among overweight children and...
CYNTHIA OGDEN
It looks like it's leveling off. We'll need more data over the next few years to know for sure, but ...
CYNTHIA OGDEN
I didn't know if we would be able to detect an increase and I was surprised that we did. It's a conc...
CYNTHIA OGDEN
There's definitely a growing gap between African-American culture and baseball. The doors Jackie Rob...
DAVID OGDEN
The resolution of these issues ensures that this evidence of one of the most tragic events in Americ...
DAVID OGDEN
Basically, men are catching up to women.
CYNTHIA OGDEN
If the dam were to fail, it definitely would pose a threat to the people in the downstream areas. Th...
MARK OGDEN
We couldn't have written an ending to this rivalry better. From our perspective, we snatched a victo...
BUD OGDEN
I was particularly concerned about seeing the increase in children, because we know that children wh...
CYNTHIA OGDEN
He's a legend. He deserves respect.
CLAY OGDEN
The guy can just roll the rock. The putt he made on 17 was something. The way he has it going right ...
CLAY OGDEN
(Handy) is just about the only player we can depend upon to individually create shots and make it.
BUD OGDEN
It was amazing. I grew up watching him play, and now to get to witness it first hand was incredible....
CLAY OGDEN
It looks like it's leveling off.
CYNTHIA OGDEN
Today's decision by the arbitration panel secures the original Zapruder film for the public and guar...
DAVID OGDEN
We've been soliciting donations online for several years. And we've seen a steady increase in online...
KAREN OGDEN
He's kind of unique. I expect big things out of him.
BUD OGDEN
I'll be disappointed if we don't do well in league. I want to leave it broad like that.
BUD OGDEN
We did what we had to do to win. We got rebounds when we had to and got to loose balls. Players step...
BUD OGDEN
About 17 percent of children are overweight and about a third of adults are obese.
CYNTHIA OGDEN
Given the Court of Appeals decision, this is a fair resolution for the American taxpayer.
DAVID OGDEN
Given the Court of Appeals decision, this is a fair resolution for the American taxpayer.
DAVID OGDEN
There's good news and bad news. We're definitely nowhere near being out of the woods.
CYNTHIA OGDEN
They were on a roll. There was definitely a momentum switch at the tail end of the game.
BUD OGDEN
He worked as hard as any other pilot, and his stick and throttle are above most others.
CLAY OGDEN
It's during childhood that our patterns often are set. Overweight adolescents often become obese adu...
CYNTHIA OGDEN
It does look good for women. Obesity may be stabilizing.
CYNTHIA OGDEN
We are looking at possible future layoffs.
DAVID OGDEN
The guy can just roll the rock, period. The way he has it going right now - he's looking the way he ...
CLAY OGDEN
The guy can just roll the rock, period.
CLAY OGDEN
With the completion of these repairs and a properly functioning drainage system, we are confident th...
MARK OGDEN
We've addressed that situation on a short-term basis, and we're going to continue to monitor it and ...
MARK OGDEN
Once I have heard the story or joke used twice by other speakers or entertainer, I avoid it.
TOM OGDEN
He was still a huge question mark. It wasn't until he started (with WVBC) that he had the time and t...
BUD OGDEN
About 17 percent of children are overweight and about a third of adults are obese.
CYNTHIA OGDEN
He had pulled a gun and said, excuse my language here, but said, 'I'll (expletive) shoot her, I'll (...
AMANDA OGDEN
Cab drivers are living proof that practice does not make perfect
HOWARD OGDEN
I was kind of joking and I actually said that I hoped I play her. And here we go.
CLAY OGDEN