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The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.


Mark Twain

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The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's
MARK TWAIN
The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's
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Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'l...
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Mark Twain: A Life
RON POWERS
Mark Twain.
FRIENDS
To paraphrase Mark Twain, our demise is greatly exaggerated.
CHRIS DONLAY
To have the cognitive abilities to do research and development is vital to a forever expanding world...
GARY F EVANS...
Mark Twain is as big as America. He really is.
VAL KILMER
I, Mark Twain being of sound mind, have spent everything
MARK TWAIN
If you want to meet Mark Twain, all you have to do is use your brain!
STEVE RAY COLLINS
The role of the Christian is to let other people know what Jesus has done, not to think of themselve...
LEWIS N. ROE
Mark Twain cannot be defined.
HAL HOLBROOK
Any finish at Le Mans is great but every time I go to Le Mans my mission is to win.
TOM KRISTENSEN
When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is.
AYN RAND
I grew up reading Shakespeare and Mark Twain.
JACKSON BROWNE
Hope is the poore mans bread.
GEORGE HERBERT
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."

[Mark...
MARK TWAIN
Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.
MARK TWAIN
The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, ...
MARK TWAIN
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
ROBERT J. HANLON
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you...
MARK TWAIN
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most [borrowed from Mark Twain]
GERARD WAY
Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.
MARK TWAIN
I read from Mark Twain's lips one or two of his good stories. He has his own way of thinking, saying...
HELEN KELLER
His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the wh...
MARK TWAIN
A mans discontent is his worst evill.
GEORGE HERBERT
I agree with what Mark Twain said - we're all mad at night.
RUTH RENDELL
How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful.
EVANS G. VALENS
A Ritual to Read to Each Other


If you don’t know the kind of person I am
and...
WILLIAM STAFFORD
Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.
KINKY FRIEDMAN
Mark Twain said, 'The right word is to the nearly right word as lightning is to the lightning bu...
ROBERT LITTELL
Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
ANONYMOUS
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
MARK TWAIN
The day will come when it is my time to go. I hope to leave a mark with my footsteps of love and gra...
STEVEN ESPINOSA
The day will come when it is my time to go. I hope to leave a mark with my footsteps of love and gra...
STEVEN ESPINOSA
I will never forget the vision of Jamie walking towards me.
NICHOLAS SPARKS
I've been enjoying 'Life on the Mississippi' by Mark Twain that I picked up at the airpo...
ROMAN COPPOLA
Eventually I came across another passage. This is what it said:
I am not commanding you, but I ...
NICHOLAS SPARKS
If you want to know what a mans like,see how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.''-Sirius black...
J.K. ROWLING
To kill a mockingbird. If you haven't read it, I think you should because it is very interesting.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
As these images were going through my head, my breathing suddenly went still. I looked at Jamie, the...
NICHOLAS SPARKS
I felt like the hope that I have (to survive cancer) will go all the way to heaven.
ROBBIE ATKISSON
Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage.
THEODORE ROOSEVELT
Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.
KINKY FRIEDMAN
Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is nev...
A WALK TO REMEMBER
All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies whic...
OSSIP GABRILOWITSCH
Honesty: The best of all the lost arts.
MARK TWAIN
Mark Twain had a way of telling stories that shifts your consciousness away from labels.
VAL KILMER
Consider well the proportion of things. It is better to be a young June bug, than an old bird of par...
MARK TWAIN
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
MARK TWAIN
We're seeing a minor technical rebound after Wall Street rebounded from two days of losses. The key ...
ANDREW TO
We are afraid that our freedoms and liberties will be infringed in the future.
ANDREW TO
When you find that you are on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." Mark Twain
STEVE J. LEATHERWOOD
This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!
HENNY YOUNGMAN
All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called "Huckleberry Finn."
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
[March 25 -] Songs and Stories for Everybody ... the Mark Twain of contemporary kids' music.
BILL HARLEY
Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
MARK TWAIN
You can find in a text whatever you bring, if you will stand between it and the mirror of you imagin...
MARK TWAIN
And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
BIBLE
Right from the start, I loved the works of Mark Twain. Every time I read about Tom Sawyer, I'd g...
JOHN GRISHAM
(Twain on Cain): it was his misfortune to live in a dark age that knew not the beneficent Insanity P...
MARK TWAIN
I bought a book of Mark Twain quotes. That's about my speed. I'll read a couple quotes and p...
KID ROCK
To be, or not to be, that is the question.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
Your "Not To Do" list is also important.
MANI S. SIVASUBRAMANIAN
Swear, food, or starve; for the dilemma's even; A tradesman thou! and hope to go to heaven?
JOHN DRYDEN
I think the mark of a great ruler, is not his ability to make war but to achieve peace.
MONICA FAIRVIEW
Mark Twain put it best when he said, 'Reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated,
BILL BRADLEY
If you hold a cat by the tail, you learn things you can't learn any other way.--Mark Twain
TONY-PAUL DE VISSAGE
Mark Twain gave us an insight into the life on the Mississippi at the turn of the century.
BOB NEWHART
The market is still waiting for HSBC results, which will have a big impact on the direction of the m...
ANDREW TO
Property shares had a technical rebound, but interest rate concerns will still affect properties unt...
ANDREW TO
Trading seems to be focusing on selective counters because investors are cautious amid interest rate...
ANDREW TO
I think there was some minor selling pressure on telecom stocks as the market continued to see a wea...
ANDREW TO
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh...
MARK TWAIN
Lᴏᴠᴇ ɪs ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴᴅ ... Yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ sᴇᴇ ɪᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏ...
NICHOLAS SPARKS
To love is to believe, to hope, to know; Tis an essay, a taste of Heaven below!
EDMUND WALLER
One mans stupidity is another mans wisdom.
LINDSAY KOLB
If I am right, then [religious fundamentalists] will not go to Heaven, because there is no Heaven. I...
ISAAC ASIMOV
A mans face is his autobiography. A women's face is her work of fiction.
OSCAR WILDE
Why should we save them? It's part of the historical legacy of California. They were made famous by ...
MARC HAYES
This is a clear case of animal cruelty. It is a felony to mutilate and kill a domesticated animal. I...
JULIE CURTIS
The first and foremost human right or fundamental right is the right to exist.
APURVA GAGLANI
Friendship is a double-edged sword one side it can be great and true but the other side it spells be...
GARY F EVANS...
Congratulations, to the people which made gotham series, still need some more and extra work!
DEYTH BANGER
If we ever put research into what the subconscious is we could probably come to the conclusion that ...
GARY F EVANS...
i know im not the girl you wanted. not the one you want to hear from. but what you see is what you g...
SIMI GREWAL
He begged hard, and said he couldn't play—a plausible excuse, but too thin; there wasn't a musicia...
MARK TWAIN
A wicked mans gift hath a touch of his master.
GEORGE HERBERT
You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us
ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON
The first and foremost human right or fundamental right is the right to exist.
APURVA GAGLANI
To remove mans comforts he has grown so accustomed to is the true test of his reinvention, whatever ...
DANIEL ROBERT O'NEILL
We hope to high heaven that (the accidents) start to go down, Playgrounds are safer than they were.
DONNA THOMPSON
For a mans house is his castle, & domus sua cuique est tutissimum refugium; for where shall a ma...
SIR EDWARD COKE
In the end, censoring a comedian's jokes is on par with censoring 'Huckleberry Finn.' No...
LISA LAMPANELLI
The Right Honourable Gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests, and to his imagination for h...
RICHARD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN
There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happend. -Mark Twain.
MARK TWAIN
Those who have heard me speak from time to time know that quite often I cite the observation of that...
J. D. HAYWORTH
Training- training is everything; training is all there is to a person. We speak of nature; it is fo...
MARK TWAIN

More Mark Twain

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody ...
MARK TWAIN
[He was] a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy...
MARK TWAIN
In our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of consci...
MARK TWAIN
I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
MARK TWAIN
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - a Christian.
MARK TWAIN
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards
MARK TWAIN
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the ...
MARK TWAIN
I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved it.
MARK TWAIN
When I think of the number of disagreeable people that I know who have gone to a better world, I am ...
MARK TWAIN
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him unt...
MARK TWAIN
Let us endeavor to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAIN
How empty is theory in the presence of fact
MARK TWAIN
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear-not absence of fear. Except a creature be part cowar...
MARK TWAIN
Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
MARK TWAIN
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
MARK TWAIN
He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
MARK TWAIN
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
MARK TWAIN
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
MARK TWAIN
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
MARK TWAIN
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
MARK TWAIN
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
MARK TWAIN
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely ...
MARK TWAIN
I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!
MARK TWAIN
History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme.
MARK TWAIN
The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
MARK TWAIN
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its...
MARK TWAIN
They did not know it was impossible so they did it
MARK TWAIN
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my ...
MARK TWAIN
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the wri...
MARK TWAIN
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
MARK TWAIN
The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
MARK TWAIN
Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the ca...
MARK TWAIN
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
MARK TWAIN
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
MARK TWAIN
Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
MARK TWAIN
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.
MARK TWAIN
My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest.
MARK TWAIN
France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
MARK TWAIN
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.
MARK TWAIN
There are only two forces that can carry light to all the corners of the globe... the sun in the hea...
MARK TWAIN
There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock...
MARK TWAIN
Humanity has unquestionably one really effective weapon
MARK TWAIN
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
MARK TWAIN
It takes an enemy and a friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart. The one to slander you, ...
MARK TWAIN
In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalist...
MARK TWAIN
Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle...
MARK TWAIN
A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
MARK TWAIN
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know, I've done it a thousand times.
MARK TWAIN
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered -- either by themselves or by others.
MARK TWAIN
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it
MARK TWAIN
Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-law.
MARK TWAIN
A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the l...
MARK TWAIN
Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
MARK TWAIN
We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.
MARK TWAIN
...the person that had took a bull by the tail once had learnt sixty or seventy times as much as a p...
MARK TWAIN
Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the ...
MARK TWAIN
There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when ...
MARK TWAIN
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
MARK TWAIN
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the real...
MARK TWAIN
Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
MARK TWAIN
A man can seldom -- very, very, seldom -- fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are t...
MARK TWAIN
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.
MARK TWAIN
If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any co...
MARK TWAIN
It isn't safe to sit in judgment upon another person's illusion when you are not on the inside. Whil...
MARK TWAIN
Accident is the name of the greatest of all inventors.
MARK TWAIN
I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it. About a politician ...
MARK TWAIN
Evolution is the law of policies: Darwin said it, Socrates endorsed it, Cuvier proved it and establi...
MARK TWAIN
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
MARK TWAIN
What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man who...
MARK TWAIN
The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.
MARK TWAIN
The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred on me. However, few escape that distinction.
MARK TWAIN
He liked to like people, therefore people liked him.
MARK TWAIN
True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
MARK TWAIN
In his private heart no man much respects himself.
MARK TWAIN
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man muc...
MARK TWAIN
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to...
MARK TWAIN
The Pause; that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geometrically progressive silence wh...
MARK TWAIN
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live...
MARK TWAIN
If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
MARK TWAIN
Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
MARK TWAIN
There are people who exaggerate so much that they can't tell the truth without lying.
MARK TWAIN
There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happend. -Mark Twain.
MARK TWAIN
Hunger is the handmaid of genius
MARK TWAIN
In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worshi...
MARK TWAIN
The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny
MARK TWAIN
And always we had wars, and more wars, and still other wars — all over Europe, all over the world....
MARK TWAIN
In Nevada, for a time, the lawyer, the editor, the banker, the chief desperado, the chief gambler, a...
MARK TWAIN
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler and less trouble.
MARK TWAIN
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
MARK TWAIN
Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
MARK TWAIN
When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.
MARK TWAIN
The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice
MARK TWAIN
Etiquette requires us to admire the human race
MARK TWAIN
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
MARK TWAIN
The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.
MARK TWAIN
Habit is habit, and not to be flung out the window by man, but coaxed downstairs, a step at a time.
MARK TWAIN
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a t...
MARK TWAIN
When in doubt, tell the truth.
MARK TWAIN
Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.
MARK TWAIN
Never learn to do anything: if you don't learn, you'll always find someone else to do it for you.
MARK TWAIN
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of s...
MARK TWAIN
Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and ...
MARK TWAIN
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
MARK TWAIN
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.
MARK TWAIN
Frankness is a jewel; only the young can afford it
MARK TWAIN
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
MARK TWAIN
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
MARK TWAIN
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
MARK TWAIN
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
MARK TWAIN
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning ...
MARK TWAIN
I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one
MARK TWAIN
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the one...
MARK TWAIN
Be good and you will be lonely.
MARK TWAIN
Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but becau...
MARK TWAIN
I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things ...
MARK TWAIN
When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.
MARK TWAIN
It is more trouble to make a maxim than it is to do right
MARK TWAIN
The very ink in which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
MARK TWAIN
Prejudice cannot see the things that are because it is always looking for things that aren't
MARK TWAIN
Prophecy: Two bull's eyes out of a possible million
MARK TWAIN
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be prai...
MARK TWAIN
Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be w...
MARK TWAIN
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
MARK TWAIN
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
MARK TWAIN
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
MARK TWAIN
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
MARK TWAIN
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, a...
MARK TWAIN
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
MARK TWAIN
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
MARK TWAIN
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure tha...
MARK TWAIN
Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
MARK TWAIN
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
MARK TWAIN
The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed rig...
MARK TWAIN
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one...
MARK TWAIN
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
MARK TWAIN
It is by the goodness of God that we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech...
MARK TWAIN
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself
MARK TWAIN
I've never let my school interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ...
MARK TWAIN
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes
MARK TWAIN
He said, 'I've never seen a festival where the whole nation gets behind an event. The Cup astonishes...
MARK TWAIN
When I was a boy on the Mississippi River there was a proposition in a township there to discontinue...
MARK TWAIN
Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so
MARK TWAIN
The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are ...
MARK TWAIN
To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman
MARK TWAIN
Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human ra...
MARK TWAIN
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places
MARK TWAIN
Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.
MARK TWAIN
God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage
MARK TWAIN
A crowded police court docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty
MARK TWAIN
It was a soft, reposeful summer landscape, as lovely as a dream, and as lonesome as Sunday.
MARK TWAIN
There is nothing like instances to grow hair on a bald-headed argument.
MARK TWAIN
Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgress...
MARK TWAIN
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
MARK TWAIN
Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighbor...
MARK TWAIN
One of my theories is that the hearts of men are about alike, no matter what their skin color.
MARK TWAIN
What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his he...
MARK TWAIN
When we set about accounting for a Napoleon or a Shakespeare or a Raphael or a Wagner or an Edison o...
MARK TWAIN
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what per...
MARK TWAIN
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your editor will d...
MARK TWAIN
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting...
MARK TWAIN
Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it...
MARK TWAIN
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
MARK TWAIN
Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,...
MARK TWAIN
Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.
MARK TWAIN
A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; t...
MARK TWAIN
Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the st...
MARK TWAIN
Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to...
MARK TWAIN
As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out.
MARK TWAIN
When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.
MARK TWAIN
Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
MARK TWAIN
When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a te...
MARK TWAIN
Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True ...
MARK TWAIN
There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were...
MARK TWAIN
The lack of money is the root of all evils.
MARK TWAIN
People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.
MARK TWAIN
My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN
Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than...
MARK TWAIN
Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled
MARK TWAIN
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would...
MARK TWAIN
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich...
MARK TWAIN
Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.
MARK TWAIN
I do not like work even when someone else does it.
MARK TWAIN
All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. ...
MARK TWAIN
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Traini...
MARK TWAIN
It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedo...
MARK TWAIN
Youth is wonderful. It's a shame to waste it on the young.
MARK TWAIN
There are some books that refuse to be written. They stand their ground year after year and will not...
MARK TWAIN
You are a coward when you even seem to have backed down from a thing you openly set out to do
MARK TWAIN
I asked Tom if countries always apologized when they had done wrong, and he says - "Yes; the little ...
MARK TWAIN
It isn't so astonishing the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things that I can...
MARK TWAIN
Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had h...
MARK TWAIN
The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession, what there is of it
MARK TWAIN
In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man what ...
MARK TWAIN
I am glad the old masters are all dead, and I only wish they had died sooner.
MARK TWAIN
Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in
MARK TWAIN
I have traveled more than any one else, and I have noticed that even the angels speak English with a...
MARK TWAIN
Nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and c...
MARK TWAIN
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children
MARK TWAIN
When I'm playful I use the meridians of longitude and parallels of latitude for a seine, and drag th...
MARK TWAIN