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The trouble with the jokes is that once they're written, I know how they're supposed to work, and all I can do is not hit them. I'm more comfortable improvising. If I have just two or three ideas and I know how the character feels, what the character wants, everything in between is like trapeze work.


Stephen Colbert

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The talent level continues to rise each and every year.
AL COLBERT
To just head off to one tournament, the bill could be as much as $6,000. Travel, hotel and food cost...
AL COLBERT
We have a very impressive schedule this year. Last season, I think we managed to sneak up on people,...
AL COLBERT
As we say every year, I don't think anybody ever thinks that they had a bad draft. We are no differe...
KEVIN COLBERT
We decided to take a chance, and it worked out pretty good for us.
KEVIN COLBERT
They've been here practicing all week, and they have all their paperwork in.
DEAN COLBERT
I would just like for our seniors to have some semblance of a season. It doesn't really matter who w...
DEAN COLBERT
It was all generated from the idea that we wanted to save the building.
DAVE COLBERT
This building has legs and it wants to have conversations in different cultural contexts and cities....
GREGORY COLBERT
Anteater -- who could have ever thought that such an animal could be so expressive? It's all in thei...
GREGORY COLBERT
The works themselves can't be separate from the architecture or the music or the films. When you wal...
GREGORY COLBERT
It will happen in time, ... It's week two of a long season. I have to clean up a lot of stuff. I hav...
KEARY COLBERT
Everybody wants to be on the field, and everybody wants to stay on the field, ... There's a lot of t...
KEARY COLBERT
Everybody wants to get on the field and stay on the field, ... So I think you have to push yourself ...
KEARY COLBERT
Tracy had been a great support player in the midfield. Many of our goals are made from her contribut...
MALCOLM COLBERT
We tried to neutralize their key players and exploit the wings. I was happy to see team's communicat...
MALCOLM COLBERT
The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers wi...
J. B. COLBERT
In politics nothing is contemptible.
JEAN BAPTISTE COLBERT
The fact is, people who can't kill, will always be subject to those who can.
SGT. BRAD 'ICEMAN' COLBERT
Finality is not the language of politics.
JEAN BAPTISTE COLBERT
The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to get the most feathers with the least his...
JEAN BAPTISTE COLBERT
Let it alone. Let it pass by. [Lat., Laissez faire, laissez passer.]
JEAN BAPTISTE COLBERT
The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers ...
J. B. COLBERT
The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest possible amount of fe...
JEAN BAPTISTE COLBERT
It is simply, and solely, the abundance of money within a state [which] makes the difference in its ...
JEAN BAPTISTE COLBERT
The sorrows and disasters of Europe always brought fortune to America.
STEPHEN B. STEPHEN LEACOCK
I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12 - Jesus, did you?
STEPHEN KING
And things were back to normal except we were just friends.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wo...
STEPHEN HAWKING
Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too swe...
STEPHEN KING
[Prison Break is] one of the craziest, most unpredictable roller-coaster rides on TV today.
STEPHEN KING
It’s hard to let go. Even when what you’re holding onto is full of thorns, it’s hard to let go...
STEPHEN KING
Minds are like flowers, they only open when the time is right.
STEPHEN RICHARDS
I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.
STEPHEN BISHOP
He's a wallflower.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
please believe that things are good with me, and even when they're not, they will be soon enough. An...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
We didn't talk about anything heavy or light. We were just there together. And that was enough
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
He's a wallflower. You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
The road to hell is paved with adverbs.
STEPHEN KING
It was the kind of kiss that made
me know that I was never so happy in my whole life.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
Just tell me how to be different in a way that makes sense.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
And I thought about how many people have loved those songs. And how many people got through a lot of...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I think computer viruses should count as life ... I think it says something about human nature that ...
STEPHEN HAWKING
One, remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Two, never give up work. Work gives...
STEPHEN HAWKING
I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.
STEPHEN LEACOCK
Only enemies speak the truth. Friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty.
STEPHEN KING
Creative work is play. It is free speculation using materials of one's chosen form.
STEPHEN NACHMANOVITCH
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get m...
STEPHEN LEACOCK