◦°˚\(*❛‿❛)/˚°◦ try 1ClickRepeater.com repeat youtube videos

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.


Ambrose Bierce

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY
Life can be tough & make you wanna give up. But baby keep your head up because you got all the time ...
LILLIAN S. VILORIA
You said that you are ill... but from from what?
DEYTH BANGER
It is melancholy to reflect that Mankind has suffered more from ill-judged philanthropy than from ca...
GILES ST. AUBYN
When we teach ourselves and our children discipline, we are teaching them and ourselves how to suffe...
M. SCOTT PECK
No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT
I have no doubt that the nation has suffered more from undue secrecy than from undue disclosure. The...
DANIEL SCHORR
The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. ...
VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE
The negro has suffered far more from the commission of this crime against the women of his race by w...
IDA B. WELLS
Please, please, help me grow to be like them, the ones'll soon be here, who never grow old, can't di...
RAY BRADBURY
Write it. Just write it. Write it on receipts in the car while you wait for your kid to finish their...
MELODIE RAMONE
Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding fr...
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.
Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding fr...
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding fr...
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding fr...
STANISLAW J. LEC
Loving someone who never loved you, is like remembering a face you never saw.
No matter how har...
RATISH EDWARDS
Dedication and enthusiams are the greatest rewards for learning
ISABEL RAMOS
It doesn’t matter how bitter or better the past has been, what we can do with the bitter or better...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH
We are the masters of our own destinies we shape and mould our lives into to the circumstances surro...
GARY F EVANS...
Stories shared in your kitchen will strengthen your family than the stories shared your bedroom
KENNETH MAHUKA
Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything.
MOE
Second letter from Mom:
So! What if you colored the world? This still does not seem a great thi...
ELENA D. CALIN
Always Be Ready For Anything that Comes: Bananas, Chips, College, an Opportunity, so when it does yo...
DANIEL OJEDA
There will be things I won't tell you ever ,
Then there will be things that you won't ever lis...
RATISH EDWARDS
I wish I could see you some day,
Just for a moment, just see you,

I wish I could h...
RATISH EDWARDS
These young ones. They do not understand. There are so few of us left who remember how destructive r...
CONNILYN COSSETTE
A SMALL PIECE OF TRUTH
I do not carry a sickle or scythe.
I only wear a hooded black robe ...
MARKUS ZUSAK
To have the time to reminisce is one of the futures gifts. Don't think to much, don't live to fast, ...
CALVIN WILSON
To have the time to reminisce is one of the futures gifts. Don't think to much, don't live to fast, ...
CALVIN WILSON
Japan is the only country in the world which suffered from the scourge of nuclear weapons.
YOSHIRO MORI
He’d never be able to touch her, and as passionate as she was, she would eventually need a man who...
GENA SHOWALTER
The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being a...
NEIL GAIMAN
Climbing oil prices and the problems with climate change make it ill-advised to sink more money into...
JEFF MIKULINA
Art -- the one achievement of Man which has made the long trip up from all fours seem well advised.
JAMES THURBER
There is more than one road to spiritual salvation. We discover a philosophical way of living by enc...
KILROY J. OLDSTER
Oh, look at you! You're massively free from the ravages of intelligence!
DAVID BRYAN (BON JOVI)
Japan is the only country in the world to have suffered the ravages of atomic bombing. That experien...
EISAKU SATO
I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something you never really had.
FROM THE TELEVISION SHOW THE WONDER YEARS
More gold has been mined from the thoughts of men than has been taken from the earth.
NAPOLEON HILL
The sweetest thing that can happen to a debtor is to see his debts fully paid
SOTONYE ANGA
She has suffered from that. She needed her dad.
IMANI ALI
Commit to the healing path and trust the process.
ROSENNA BAKARI
Living is a process of developing oneself. Without experiencing pain from disconcerting periods of o...
KILROY J. OLDSTER
Believe it, brethren, God looks for more from England, than from most nations in the world; and for ...
RICHARD BAXTER
Throughout history no one has suffered more than God. He has suffered because his own children fell ...
SUN MYUNG MOON
Philosophies of the world: Indian Philosophy: Survive and grow Chinese Philosophy: Lets fake it West...
APURVA GAGLANI
Controlling, Sickening, Demoralizing, Disgraceful, Limiting, and Falsely "Ambitionizingly" Repetitiv...
NICKOLE SANDERS
I can't solve the problems of the world, but being the best person I can be will certainly lessen th...
JIM GENOVESE
It is not the grain of grass that will decide mans future but the bullet that comes from the barrel ...
DEAN IBERHYSAJ
Philosophies of the world: Indian Philosophy: Survive and grow Chinese Philosophy: Lets fake it West...
APURVA GAGLANI
If you say you will lead a people to a new age then do it, but don't hide behind your laws as an exc...
DEAN IBERHYSAJ
When I was younger, I would cling to life because life was at the top of the turning wheel. But like...
ROMAN PAYNE
There is more of good nature than of good sense at the bottom of most marriages.
HENRY DAVID THOREAU
It's not the end of the world, but you can see it from there.
PIERRE ELLIOTT TRUDEAU
Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law.
JEAN ANOUILH
It seems the great advantage of people who annoy us is motivation to engage in reflection.
OSCAR AULIQ-ICE
Next to fried foods, the South has suffered most from oratory.
BROOKS HAYS
The scientific method gives us information by testing and repeating observable things so that we can...
LEWIS N. ROE
Every decent man of our age must be a coward and a slave. That is his normal condition. Of that I am...
FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY
Try as we might, we write what we write
BG THURSTON
I think it is ill-advised and illogical. This to me is decidedly unhelpful.
GREGG LIEN
You might as well roll dice. This strategy is ill advised.
WALTER MOLONY
No country has suffered so much from the ruins of war while being at peace as the American.
EDWARD DAHLBERG
You have come from the shadow of the heroin and the shadow of your brother, my friend. Come from the...
STEPHEN KING
There is no longer a single idea explaining everything, but an infinite number of essences giving a ...
ALBERT CAMUS
The scientific method gives us information by testing and repeating observable things so that we can...
LEWIS N. ROE
Words are the bones. Writing is the lungs. Reading is like breathing.
T.L. CRAIN
Many learn from the past
but few do something with it.
Take Action.
Struggles bring...
FARSHAD ASL
your best men are
drunks and your worst men are
locking them
up,
your best men a...
CHARLES BUKOWSKI
I am the shee-it,” the adolescent said in a singsong voice. Then he swung around, smirking at the ...
JEANIENE FROST
http://www.colorbuckket.com/block-prints Block prints from jaipur, Block prints from india, Block pr...
COLORBUCKKET
He suffered from a rush of words to the head.
HERBERT SAMUEL
An isolated outbreak of virginity is a rash on the face of society. It arouses only pity from the m...
CHARLOTTE BINGHAM
It's a hasty move and, in my opinion, very ill advised.
REP. DAVID LITVACK
Pain has creative power,
Let the magic unfold...
HENNA SOHAIL
There are more world champions from Florida than anywhere else.
MATT KECHELE
Events like Hurricane Katrina and the Minnesota bridge collapse suggest a national infrastructure th...
NINA EASTON
You want to talk about a matter of inches. No one was more distraught than Ambrose after that game.
CHARLIE WEIS
From 1945 to 1974, the Western world - including America - was more socialistic than capitalistic, m...
ROBERT KIYOSAKI
There is no greater torture than being forced to watch as your love, your reason for living, breathi...
QUINN LOFTIS
It's funny how, when things seem the darkest, moments of beauty present themselves in the most unexp...
KAREN MARIE MONING
old books -- little tombstones of ideas and history
AMY TAN
To tell a tale so great as to tear the soul inside out"
Sara Niles, Torn From the Inside Out
SARA NILES
Nothing is more ill-timed than an ill-timed laugh.
UNKNOWN
An isolated outbreak of virginity is a rash on the face of society. It arouses only pity from the ma...
CHARLOTTE BINGHAM
We forgot about Buddha. We forgot about God. We developed a coldness inside us that still has not th...
JULIE OTSUKA
It is more from carelessness about truth than from intentionally lying that there is so much falseho...
SAMUEL JOHNSON
The Toll bid was ill-conceived from the outset. It has been a failure of both strategy and execution...
CHRIS CORRIGAN
Wife from thy Spouse each blemish hide More than from all the World beside: Let DECENCY be all thy P...
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day o...
FROM "TAXI"
He won voters [with annual incomes of] under $50,000--but they're less than half the electorate in t...
AL FROM
Your old virginity is like one of our French withered pears: it looks ill, it eats dryly.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
No human beings more dangerous than those who have suffered for a belief: the great persecutors are ...
E. M. CIORAN
A man has more character in his face at forty than at twenty--he has suffered longer.
MAE WEST
Italy, like areas of her childhood, is a part of her world she has always kept secret from her husba...
GLENN HAYBITTLE
I have suffered from being misunderstood, but I would have suffered a hell of a lot more if I had be...
CLARENCE DARROW
A Democrat has to show the toughness to govern. People don't doubt that Republicans will be tough.
AL FROM
We can help parents raise kids by adopting a uniform media rating system and banning marketing of vi...
AL FROM
A Democrat has to show the toughness to govern. People don't doubt that Republicans will be toug...
AL FROM
I think it's all too relevant. We wish the world had moved on more from the issues it raised than it...
EMILY BAZELON

More Ambrose Bierce

WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous oc...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE
RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.
AMBROSE BIERCE
FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and s...
AMBROSE BIERCE
... the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his coun...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfort...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE
To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE
Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE
Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE
One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE
BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginar...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Faith, noun. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understa...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Happiness, noun. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE
History, n. An account mostly false, of events unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Dentist, n.: A Prestidigitator who, putting metal in one's mouth, pulls coins out of one's pockets.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Optimism, n. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Mad, adj: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE
INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE
TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreea...
AMBROSE BIERCE
I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PREDICAMENT, n. The wage of consistency.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions. Having received an ultima...
AMBROSE BIERCE
DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and im...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum - I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
AMBROSE BIERCE
CREMONA, n. A high-priced violin made in Connecticut.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
AMBROSE BIERCE
BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable fo...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. Formerly these disputes were settled by ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
BAAL, n. An old deity formerly much worshiped under various names. As Baal he was popular with the P...
AMBROSE BIERCE
CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum, _Cogit...
AMBROSE BIERCE
MEEKNESS, n. Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.

M is for Moses,...
AMBROSE BIERCE
TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
AMBROSE BIERCE
TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word...
AMBROSE BIERCE
MOLECULE, n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
FEAST, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, freque...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Vote: The instrument and symbol of a free man's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his c...
AMBROSE BIERCE
LOQUACITY, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.
AMBROSE BIERCE
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Advice is the smallest current coin.
AMBROSE BIERCE
SOPHISTRY, n. The controversial method of an opponent, distinguished from one's own by superior insi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ALDERMAN, n. An ingenious criminal who covers his secret thieving with a pretence of open marauding.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confesse...
AMBROSE BIERCE
WEATHER, n. The climate of the hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does no...
AMBROSE BIERCE
INDECISION, n. The chief element of success; "for whereas," saith Sir Thomas Brewbold, "there is but...
AMBROSE BIERCE
LEONINE, adj. Unlike a menagerie lion. Leonine verses are those in which a word in the middle of a l...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction --prototype of the modern newspa...
AMBROSE BIERCE
APPLAUSE, n. The echo of a platitude.
AMBROSE BIERCE
WORSHIP, n. Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A po...
AMBROSE BIERCE
MISERICORDE, n. A dagger which in mediaeval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an unhors...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . .
AMBROSE BIERCE
ENCOMIAST, n. A special (but not particular) kind of liar.
AMBROSE BIERCE
TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word...
AMBROSE BIERCE
DEGENERATE, adj. Less conspicuously admirable than one's ancestors. The contemporaries of Homer were...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ALIEN, n. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear. In Virginia City, Nevada, he is called the Was...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable ac...
AMBROSE BIERCE
APPETITE, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
AMBROSE BIERCE
CAABA, n. A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved a...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ADOLESCENCE The stage between puberty and adultery.
AMBROSE BIERCE
CREMONA, n. A high-priced violin made in Connecticut.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape pain...
AMBROSE BIERCE
BAAL, n. An old deity formerly much worshiped under various names. As Baal he was popular with the P...
AMBROSE BIERCE
HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads.
AMBROSE BIERCE
FREEDOM, n. Exemption from the stress of authority in a beggarly half dozen of restraint's infinite ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
MEEKNESS, n. Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.M is for Moses, Who slew th...
AMBROSE BIERCE
WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ'...
AMBROSE BIERCE
FRIENDLESS, adj. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth an...
AMBROSE BIERCE
CONSULT, v.i. To seek another's disapproval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PREDICAMENT, n. The wage of consistency.
AMBROSE BIERCE
BASILISK, n. The cockatrice. A sort of serpent hatched form the egg of a cock. The basilisk had a ba...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Strike while your employer has a big contract.
AMBROSE BIERCE
EDITOR, n. A person who combines the judicial functions of Minos, Rhadamanthus and Aeacus, but is pl...
AMBROSE BIERCE
COMMONWEALTH, n. An administrative entity operated by an incalculable multitude of political parasit...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ERUDITION, n. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.So wide his erudition's mighty span, He ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and im...
AMBROSE BIERCE
POSTERITY, n. An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ICONOCLAST, n. A breaker of idols, the worshipers whereof are imperfectly gratified by the performan...
AMBROSE BIERCE
FELON, n. A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed...
AMBROSE BIERCE
IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.
AMBROSE BIERCE
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.A leaf was ri...
AMBROSE BIERCE
DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evol...
AMBROSE BIERCE
CONVERSATION, n. A fair to the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too int...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ARCHBISHOP, n. An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.If I were a jolly archbish...
AMBROSE BIERCE
SCEPTER, n. A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace...
AMBROSE BIERCE
BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters --the most difficult kind of English verse to write acce...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE
DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more object...
AMBROSE BIERCE
NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and...
AMBROSE BIERCE
USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Convention...
AMBROSE BIERCE
SENATE, n. A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE
RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
HUMANITY, n. The human race, collectively, exclusive of the anthropoid poets.
AMBROSE BIERCE
There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE
MILLENNIUM, n. The period of a thousand years when the lid is to be screwed down, with all reformers...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Christian: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
OPTIMIST, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white. A pessimist applied to God for relief....
AMBROSE BIERCE
OPTIMIST, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white. A pessimist applied to God for relief.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, c...
AMBROSE BIERCE
In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary, patriotism is defined as the last refuge of a scoundrel. With a...
AMBROSE BIERCE
LAZINESS, n. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PEDIGREE, n. The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban d...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for...
AMBROSE BIERCE
EMBALM, v.i. To cheat vegetation by locking up the gases upon which it feeds. By embalming their dea...
AMBROSE BIERCE
SERIAL, n. A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a n...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ACQUAINTANCE, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovide...
AMBROSE BIERCE
BOUNTY, n. The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ROBBER, n. A candid man of affairs. It is related of Voltaire that one night he and some traveling c...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE
LUNARIAN, n. An inhabitant of the moon, as distinguished from Lunatic, one whom the moon inhabits. T...
AMBROSE BIERCE
WINE, n. Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum."...
AMBROSE BIERCE
QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property su...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ARRAYED, pp. Drawn up and given an orderly disposition, as a rioter hanged to a lamppost.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PREDILECTION, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Pitted against hard drinking Christians the abstemious Mahometans go down like grass before the scyt...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Opportunity is a favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
AMBROSE BIERCE
UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
AMBROSE BIERCE
From the vast, invisible ocean of moonlight overhead fell, here and here, a slender, broken stream t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
AMBROSE BIERCE
You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE
To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE
To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE
DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE
YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE