┗┃・ ■ ・┃┛ try Youbidder.com last second Ebay bid free

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.


Ambrose Bierce

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.
AMBROSE BIERCE
There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY
No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT
Your present thinking and actions lay the foundation for your future.
LORRIN L. LEE
The triangle is a foundation to an offense.
BILL CARTWRIGHT
PLEASE, v. To lay the foundation for a superstructure of imposition.
AMBROSE BIERCE
His life seemed like a deck of cards, and in the midst of all those two’s and three’s someone ha...
TEKOA MANNING
will lay a strong foundation for further action.
ERSKINE BOWLES
A good education is a foundation for a better future.
ELIZABETH WARREN
How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful.
EVANS G. VALENS
A Ritual to Read to Each Other


If you don’t know the kind of person I am
and...
WILLIAM STAFFORD
I will never forget the vision of Jamie walking towards me.
NICHOLAS SPARKS
Eventually I came across another passage. This is what it said:
I am not commanding you, but I ...
NICHOLAS SPARKS
You don't have to learn much out of books, it's like if you want to learn about cows, you go milk on...
HARPER LEE
You can't really get to know a person until you get in their shoes and walk around in them.
HARPER LEE
To kill a mockingbird. If you haven't read it, I think you should because it is very interesting.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
As these images were going through my head, my breathing suddenly went still. I looked at Jamie, the...
NICHOLAS SPARKS
Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is nev...
A WALK TO REMEMBER
We're seeing a minor technical rebound after Wall Street rebounded from two days of losses. The key ...
ANDREW TO
We are afraid that our freedoms and liberties will be infringed in the future.
ANDREW TO
Never ruin an apology with an excuse.
KIMBERLY JOHNSON
Why should I apologize for being a HACKER? Has anyone ever apologized for turning me into one?
HARSH MOHAN
The market is still waiting for HSBC results, which will have a big impact on the direction of the m...
ANDREW TO
Property shares had a technical rebound, but interest rate concerns will still affect properties unt...
ANDREW TO
Trading seems to be focusing on selective counters because investors are cautious amid interest rate...
ANDREW TO
I think there was some minor selling pressure on telecom stocks as the market continued to see a wea...
ANDREW TO
You were chosen by God to create the destiny of the nation and to lay a foundation for the generatio...
SUNDAY ADELAJA
The amendment to the Constitution will lay a solid legal foundation for the establishment of a compl...
JIN ZHIGUO
Lᴏᴠᴇ ɪs ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴᴅ ... Yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ sᴇᴇ ɪᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏ...
NICHOLAS SPARKS
She filed the image away as an excellent and insulting question to ask the earl at an utterly inappr...
GAIL CARRIGER
A great future starts with what you can see
SOTONYE ANGA
The first and foremost human right or fundamental right is the right to exist.
APURVA GAGLANI
To have the cognitive abilities to do research and development is vital to a forever expanding world...
GARY F EVANS...
Friendship is a double-edged sword one side it can be great and true but the other side it spells be...
GARY F EVANS...
Congratulations, to the people which made gotham series, still need some more and extra work!
DEYTH BANGER
If we ever put research into what the subconscious is we could probably come to the conclusion that ...
GARY F EVANS...
In early childhood you may lay the foundation of poverty or riches, industry of idleness, good or ev...
LYDIA SIGOURNEY
In early childhood you may lay the foundation of poverty or riches, industry or idleness, good or ev...
LYDIA SIGOURNEY
i know im not the girl you wanted. not the one you want to hear from. but what you see is what you g...
SIMI GREWAL
Eat for lunch, but let something for dinner.
ERBLIN VUKAJ
It's hard when you have things but lose them, it's even harder when you feel that you're being left ...
GARY F EVANS...
The first and foremost human right or fundamental right is the right to exist.
APURVA GAGLANI
The foundation determines the future
SUNDAY ADELAJA
The best thing you can do for your kids is to show them God working in you on a daily basis.
CRAIG GROESCHEL
Your past success is a foundation into future success.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA
Habits of action cultivated early in life lay the foundation for unique skill sets able to carve a p...
MARIAN DEEGAN
Life is not a game. Still, in this life, we choose the games we live to play.
J.R. RIM
There's so much knowledge to be had that specialists cling to their specialties as a shield a...
ISAAC ASIMOV
The love you get, is equal to the love you give.
BEN OAK
A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him.
DAVID BRINKLEY
A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.
DAVID BRINKLEY
Education is the foundation upon which we build our future.
CHRISTINE GREGOIRE
PEACE IS THE OBJECTIVE TO WAR, BUT THE BLOOD RUNNETH STILL
NATALIE URQUIETA
Confinement is not a part of your destiny. Your life purpose is to take the totality of your negativ...
B.L. BROWN
Bank of China's results were quite good; double-digit growth can be taken as good results for a bank...
ANDREW TO
The index tried to challenge 18,000 but failed, so that triggered profit taking. Tokyo's slide also ...
ANDREW TO
Some investors have returned to pick up the stock at bargain prices.
ANDREW TO
I think the take-up for the placement is not too good and other property developers may be discourag...
ANDREW TO
The scientific method gives us information by testing and repeating observable things so that we can...
LEWIS N. ROE
Some read to learn, some to laugh, and some to live.
JOYCE RACHELLE
The scientific method gives us information by testing and repeating observable things so that we can...
LEWIS N. ROE
Some people never take a chance and never know what it's like to live life to the full.
CHLOE THURLOW
The foundation appreciates the many years of service Jim Snyder provided as director, ... He leaves ...
BILL CLAYTON
It is our duty, as parents and as teachers, to give all children the space to build their emotional ...
KATE MIDDLETON
If you want to marry me, here's what you'll have to do:
You must learn how to make a perfect ch...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Judge not lest ye be judged.
THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO MATTHEW
The purpose of the law is not to prevent a future offense, but to punish the one actually committed
AYN RAND
In the third month they began to lay the foundation of the heaps, and finished them in the seventh m...
BIBLE
The Freudian theory is one of the most important foundation stones for an edifice to be built by fut...
THOMAS MANN
God is giving us a chance to establish a future for our country, laying a new foundation of truth an...
SUNDAY ADELAJA
The scientific man does not aim at an immediate result. He does not expect that his advanced ideas w...
NIKOLA TESLA
The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. ...
VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE
We make our future
SOTONYE ANGA
I turn and kick with the first one and feel myself being lifted and thrown towards the beach. It's l...
MARK SMITH
One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit o...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
We apologize to the students who were awarded the Vice-Presidential Housing and Student Mentor Schol...
CHRIS HMIELEWSKI
The saying sell all your belongings & give to the poor simply means "Redirect your mind to the verit...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
To love is to act.
VICTOR HUGO
I know now: what is is all that matters. Not the thing you know is meant to be, not what could be, n...
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
Life can only be understood looking backward. It must be lived forward.
ERIC ROTH
Wesley Rush doesn't chase girls, but I'm chasing you.
KODY KEPLINGER
You're afraid of getting hurt like I'm afraid to die. It doesn't mean I'm not going to live every da...
VI KEELAND
What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Lay the foundations for your future now. Try to do a little bit every day and let it slowly add up. ...
AVINA CELESTE
When our lips parted, he sighed. “I love those eyes, angel. When they look at me, I feel like anyt...
BIJOU HUNTER
The rapid restructuring of Yves Saint Laurent has laid the foundation for profitable future growth.
DOMENICO DE SOLE
War is no solution to peace.
BEN OAK
Atticus---" ...said Jem bleakly. "How could they do it, how could they?"
"I don't know, but the...
HARPER LEE
Yes, their reasons are overwhelming. They are as big as hope and as deep as revolt. They are the rea...
ALBERT CAMUS
A tooth for a tooth, will make the world's inhabitants a people without teeth
SOTONYE ANGA
A coin is examined, and only after careful deliberation, given to a beggar, whereas a child is flung...
PETER WESSEL ZAPFFE
Don't you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you're not taking advantage of it?...
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
He said we were all cooked but we were all right as long as we did not know it. We were all cooked. ...
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
The atheist might have no proof for the supernatural, but they also have no proof against it. If we ...
LEWIS N. ROE
No, no. Don't make that face. Every time I propose to you, you make that twisty, unhappy face. It we...
TESSA DARE
The foundation for future prosperity is built on the bedrock of good jobs and great schools. We are ...
RICK PERRY
There are just some kind of men who-who're so busy worrying about the next world they've never learn...
HARPER LEE
Why, darling, I don't live at all when I'm not with you.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
A tooth for a tooth, will make the world's inhabitants a people without teeth
SOTONYE ANGA
Naturalistic atheism debunks itself. It has no power to explain even some of the most basic principl...
LEWIS N. ROE

More Ambrose Bierce

WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous oc...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE
RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.
AMBROSE BIERCE
FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and s...
AMBROSE BIERCE
... the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his coun...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfort...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE
To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE
Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE
Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE
One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE
BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginar...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Faith, noun. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understa...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Happiness, noun. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE
History, n. An account mostly false, of events unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Dentist, n.: A Prestidigitator who, putting metal in one's mouth, pulls coins out of one's pockets.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Optimism, n. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Mad, adj: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE
INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE
TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreea...
AMBROSE BIERCE
I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PREDICAMENT, n. The wage of consistency.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions. Having received an ultima...
AMBROSE BIERCE
DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and im...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum - I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
AMBROSE BIERCE
CREMONA, n. A high-priced violin made in Connecticut.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
AMBROSE BIERCE
BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable fo...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. Formerly these disputes were settled by ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
BAAL, n. An old deity formerly much worshiped under various names. As Baal he was popular with the P...
AMBROSE BIERCE
CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum, _Cogit...
AMBROSE BIERCE
MEEKNESS, n. Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.

M is for Moses,...
AMBROSE BIERCE
TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
AMBROSE BIERCE
TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word...
AMBROSE BIERCE
MOLECULE, n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
FEAST, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, freque...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Vote: The instrument and symbol of a free man's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his c...
AMBROSE BIERCE
LOQUACITY, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.
AMBROSE BIERCE
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Advice is the smallest current coin.
AMBROSE BIERCE
SOPHISTRY, n. The controversial method of an opponent, distinguished from one's own by superior insi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ALDERMAN, n. An ingenious criminal who covers his secret thieving with a pretence of open marauding.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confesse...
AMBROSE BIERCE
WEATHER, n. The climate of the hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does no...
AMBROSE BIERCE
INDECISION, n. The chief element of success; "for whereas," saith Sir Thomas Brewbold, "there is but...
AMBROSE BIERCE
LEONINE, adj. Unlike a menagerie lion. Leonine verses are those in which a word in the middle of a l...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction --prototype of the modern newspa...
AMBROSE BIERCE
APPLAUSE, n. The echo of a platitude.
AMBROSE BIERCE
WORSHIP, n. Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A po...
AMBROSE BIERCE
MISERICORDE, n. A dagger which in mediaeval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an unhors...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . .
AMBROSE BIERCE
ENCOMIAST, n. A special (but not particular) kind of liar.
AMBROSE BIERCE
TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word...
AMBROSE BIERCE
DEGENERATE, adj. Less conspicuously admirable than one's ancestors. The contemporaries of Homer were...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ALIEN, n. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear. In Virginia City, Nevada, he is called the Was...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable ac...
AMBROSE BIERCE
APPETITE, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
AMBROSE BIERCE
CAABA, n. A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved a...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ADOLESCENCE The stage between puberty and adultery.
AMBROSE BIERCE
CREMONA, n. A high-priced violin made in Connecticut.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape pain...
AMBROSE BIERCE
BAAL, n. An old deity formerly much worshiped under various names. As Baal he was popular with the P...
AMBROSE BIERCE
HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads.
AMBROSE BIERCE
FREEDOM, n. Exemption from the stress of authority in a beggarly half dozen of restraint's infinite ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
MEEKNESS, n. Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.M is for Moses, Who slew th...
AMBROSE BIERCE
WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ'...
AMBROSE BIERCE
FRIENDLESS, adj. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth an...
AMBROSE BIERCE
CONSULT, v.i. To seek another's disapproval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PREDICAMENT, n. The wage of consistency.
AMBROSE BIERCE
BASILISK, n. The cockatrice. A sort of serpent hatched form the egg of a cock. The basilisk had a ba...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Strike while your employer has a big contract.
AMBROSE BIERCE
EDITOR, n. A person who combines the judicial functions of Minos, Rhadamanthus and Aeacus, but is pl...
AMBROSE BIERCE
COMMONWEALTH, n. An administrative entity operated by an incalculable multitude of political parasit...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ERUDITION, n. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.So wide his erudition's mighty span, He ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and im...
AMBROSE BIERCE
POSTERITY, n. An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ICONOCLAST, n. A breaker of idols, the worshipers whereof are imperfectly gratified by the performan...
AMBROSE BIERCE
FELON, n. A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed...
AMBROSE BIERCE
IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.
AMBROSE BIERCE
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.A leaf was ri...
AMBROSE BIERCE
DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evol...
AMBROSE BIERCE
CONVERSATION, n. A fair to the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too int...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ARCHBISHOP, n. An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.If I were a jolly archbish...
AMBROSE BIERCE
SCEPTER, n. A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace...
AMBROSE BIERCE
BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters --the most difficult kind of English verse to write acce...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE
DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more object...
AMBROSE BIERCE
NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and...
AMBROSE BIERCE
USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Convention...
AMBROSE BIERCE
SENATE, n. A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE
RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
HUMANITY, n. The human race, collectively, exclusive of the anthropoid poets.
AMBROSE BIERCE
There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE
MILLENNIUM, n. The period of a thousand years when the lid is to be screwed down, with all reformers...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Christian: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
OPTIMIST, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white. A pessimist applied to God for relief....
AMBROSE BIERCE
OPTIMIST, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white. A pessimist applied to God for relief.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, c...
AMBROSE BIERCE
In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary, patriotism is defined as the last refuge of a scoundrel. With a...
AMBROSE BIERCE
LAZINESS, n. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PEDIGREE, n. The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban d...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for...
AMBROSE BIERCE
EMBALM, v.i. To cheat vegetation by locking up the gases upon which it feeds. By embalming their dea...
AMBROSE BIERCE
SERIAL, n. A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a n...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ACQUAINTANCE, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A...
AMBROSE BIERCE
PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovide...
AMBROSE BIERCE
BOUNTY, n. The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ROBBER, n. A candid man of affairs. It is related of Voltaire that one night he and some traveling c...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE
LUNARIAN, n. An inhabitant of the moon, as distinguished from Lunatic, one whom the moon inhabits. T...
AMBROSE BIERCE
WINE, n. Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum."...
AMBROSE BIERCE
QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property su...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ARRAYED, pp. Drawn up and given an orderly disposition, as a rioter hanged to a lamppost.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PREDILECTION, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Pitted against hard drinking Christians the abstemious Mahometans go down like grass before the scyt...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Opportunity is a favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
AMBROSE BIERCE
UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
AMBROSE BIERCE
From the vast, invisible ocean of moonlight overhead fell, here and here, a slender, broken stream t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
AMBROSE BIERCE
You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE
To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE
DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE
YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE