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You and I probably wouldn't be here if our ancestors hadn't been greedy savages.


Mark Pagel

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If I hadn't fought back, I might have been Gidget forever.
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If I hadn't left Czechoslovakia, I would have been dead.
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If I hadn't turned out to be a filmmaker, I would have been a musician.
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I think I would have died if there hadn't been the women's movement.
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Right before 'The Bourne Identity' came out, I hadn't been offered a movie in a year.
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You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.
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You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.
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I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
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He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
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I can live for two months on a good compliment.
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All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
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Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
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If it weren't for music, I would think that love is mortal.
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I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!
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History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme.
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The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
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Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its...
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They did not know it was impossible so they did it
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If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
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The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
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Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
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A lie is when you say something happened which didn't happen. But there is only ever one thing which...
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Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
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Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
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There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.
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My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest.
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France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
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Humanity has unquestionably one really effective weapon
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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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It takes an enemy and a friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart. The one to slander you, ...
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A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
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To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know, I've done it a thousand times.
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Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered -- either by themselves or by others.
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Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it
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Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-law.
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A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the l...
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Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
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We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.
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When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
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Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the real...
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Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
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When you're a winner you're always happy, but if you're happy as a loser you'll always be a loser.
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A man can seldom -- very, very, seldom -- fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are t...
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The only pressure I'm under is the pressure I've put on myself.
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There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any co...
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Every murder turns on a bright hot light, and a lot of people have to walk out of the shadows.
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It isn't safe to sit in judgment upon another person's illusion when you are not on the inside. Whil...
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Accident is the name of the greatest of all inventors.
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There is nothing that puts a man more in your debt than that he owes you nothing.
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I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it. About a politician ...
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Evolution is the law of policies: Darwin said it, Socrates endorsed it, Cuvier proved it and establi...
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Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
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What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man who...
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The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.
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The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred on me. However, few escape that distinction.
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He liked to like people, therefore people liked him.
MARK TWAIN
True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
MARK TWAIN
In his private heart no man much respects himself.
MARK TWAIN
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man muc...
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There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to...
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The Pause; that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geometrically progressive silence wh...
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live...
MARK TWAIN
If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
MARK TWAIN
Once the implicit aim of biography was to uplift now it is to unveil.
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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There are people who exaggerate so much that they can't tell the truth without lying.
MARK TWAIN
There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happend. -Mark Twain.
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Hunger is the handmaid of genius
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In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worshi...
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The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny
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And always we had wars, and more wars, and still other wars — all over Europe, all over the world....
MARK TWAIN
In Nevada, for a time, the lawyer, the editor, the banker, the chief desperado, the chief gambler, a...
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To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler and less trouble.
MARK TWAIN
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
MARK TWAIN
Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
MARK TWAIN
When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.
MARK TWAIN
The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice
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Etiquette requires us to admire the human race
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Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
MARK TWAIN
The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.
MARK TWAIN
Habit is habit, and not to be flung out the window by man, but coaxed downstairs, a step at a time.
MARK TWAIN
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a t...
MARK TWAIN
When in doubt, tell the truth.
MARK TWAIN
Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.
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Never learn to do anything: if you don't learn, you'll always find someone else to do it for you.
MARK TWAIN
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of s...
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Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and ...
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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
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Virtue has never been as respectable as money.
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Even the best of friends need time apart.
MARK HEATH
Frankness is a jewel; only the young can afford it
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Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
MARK TWAIN
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
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It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
MARK TWAIN
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
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The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning ...
MARK TWAIN
I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one
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Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the one...
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Be good and you will be lonely.
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Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but becau...
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I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things ...
MARK TWAIN
When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.
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It is more trouble to make a maxim than it is to do right
MARK TWAIN
The very ink in which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
MARK TWAIN
Prejudice cannot see the things that are because it is always looking for things that aren't
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Prophecy: Two bull's eyes out of a possible million
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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be prai...
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Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be w...
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Ethanol and biodiesel allow people to burn a cleaner form of energy.
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In the 21st century our tastes buds, our brain chemistry, our biochemistry, our hormones and our kit...
MARK HYMAN
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
MARK TWAIN
Really, who you are is defined by the people who you know - not even the people that you know, but t...
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The thing I really care about is the mission, making the world open.
MARK ZUCKERBERG
When I started Facebook from my dorm room in 2004, the idea that my roommates and I talked about all...
MARK ZUCKERBERG
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
MARK TWAIN
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
MARK TWAIN
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
MARK TWAIN
It is just physics - who can argue with Newton and the first law of thermodynamics?
MARK HYMAN
Most schools have only a microwave or deep fryer, hardly the tools needed to feed our children real,...
MARK HYMAN
Stay away from milk. It is nature's perfect food - but only if you are a calf.
MARK HYMAN
The power of community to create health is far greater than any physician, clinic or hospital.
MARK HYMAN
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, a...
MARK TWAIN
Growing up, I think I was arrested 20-odd times by the Boston police. The good news is that I've...
MARK WAHLBERG
When I was a rapper, the groupies didn't have to try too hard with me. Just show up at the hotel...
MARK WAHLBERG
I've always wanted to do right in life. But the wanting and the doing aren't quite the same ...
MARK WAHLBERG
If I succeed in business but fail as a father, then I've failed.
MARK WAHLBERG
There was a time in my life when I was going in and out of houses that were extraordinarily differen...
MARK HADDON
Appalling things can happen to children. And even a happy childhood is filled with sadnesses.
MARK HADDON
From a good book, I want to be taken to the very edge. I want a glimpse into that outer darkness.
MARK HADDON
I better make the plot good. I wanted to make it grip people on the first page and have a big turnin...
MARK HADDON
I suffer depression only in the sense that I am a writer. We don't have proper jobs to go to. We...
MARK HADDON
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
MARK TWAIN
I've slipped on occasion into the realm of irresponsible invective, but I try to avoid it and ge...
MARK MCKINNON
In politics, not all lies are all lies. And not all truths are complete.
MARK MCKINNON
If we cannot come together to pause, to respect our dead and the heroic lives of meaning they led, t...
MARK MCKINNON
Wind and solar power are land-intensive, a green sin, but not energy-dense, and affordable only when...
MARK MCKINNON
Remaining vigilant toward this ever-present threat means constantly learning how better to protect o...
MARK KENNEDY
I've always liked adventure television. Pre-'Survivor,' I did a series on cable called &...
MARK BURNETT
We can't wait until elections to fight for what we care about. We can't hope for a benevolen...
MARK PINCUS
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
MARK TWAIN
I made my name and reputation DJing in hip-hop clubs in New York. 'Celebrity DJ' is a term t...
MARK RONSON