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You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know that There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right, grinning and jostling and trying to sell you souvenirs.


Terry Pratchett

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TERRY PRATCHETT
Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Fate can be one mean god at times.
TERRY PRATCHETT
But in his experience it was only a matter of time before the normal balance of the universe restore...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Magic never dies. It merely fades away.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Tiffany knew what the problem was immediately. She'd seen it before, at
birthday parties. Her b...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I've always felt that what I have going for me is not my imagination, because everyone has an im...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The most watched programme on the BBC, after the news, is probably 'Doctor Who.' What has ha...
TERRY PRATCHETT
After a while the Senior Wrangler said, "Do you know, I read the other day that every atom in your b...
TERRY PRATCHETT
He said that there was death and taxes, and taxes was worse, because at least death didn’t happen ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The reaper does not listen to the harvest.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Was that what it was really like to be alive? The feeling of darkness dragging you forward?
How...
TERRY PRATCHETT
ALL THINGS THAT ARE, ARE OURS. BUT WE MUST CARE. FOR IF WE DO NOT CARE, WE DO NOT EXIST. IF WE DO NO...
TERRY PRATCHETT
New things, new ideas arrived and strutted their stuff and were vilified by some and then lo! that w...
TERRY PRATCHETT
She sniffed, and smiled a bit, but not too much because if there is one thing worse than someone who...
TERRY PRATCHETT
...it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting ca...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I think perhaps the most important problem is that we are trying to understand the fundamental worki...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Your own brain ought to have the decency to be on your side!
TERRY PRATCHETT
Welcome to fear, said Moist to himself. It's hope, turned inside out. You know it can't go wrong, yo...
TERRY PRATCHETT
But, in truth, it had not exactly been gold, or even the promise of gold, but more like the fantasy ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Look, he said to his imagination, if this is how you're going to behave, I shan't bring you again.
TERRY PRATCHETT
The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the tu...
TERRY PRATCHETT
And if you couldn't trust the government, who could you trust? Very nearly everyone, come to think o...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Good or bad, do it as you. Too many lies and there's no truth to go back to.
TERRY PRATCHETT
You take a bunch of people who don't seem any different from you and me, but when you add them all t...
TERRY PRATCHETT
How can you protect yourself by carrying a sword if you don’t know how to use it?’
Not me, ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I wonder if it's like this for mountain climbers, he thought. You climb bigger and bigger mountains ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
In theory it was, around now, Literature. Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good b...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Ginger: You know what the greatest tragedy is in the whole world?... It's all the people who never f...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The enemy isn't men, or women, it's bloody stupid people and no one has the right to be stupid.
TERRY PRATCHETT
In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the
cat, although in this ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who t...
TERRY PRATCHETT
You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know tha...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I regarded finding I had a form of Alzheimer's as an insult and decided to do my best to marshal...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The bravest person I've ever met was a young boy going through massive amounts of treatment for ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
My advice is this. For Christ's sake, don't write a book that is suitable for a kid of 12 ye...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It occurred to me that at one point it was like I had two diseases - one was Alzheimer's, and th...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still g...
TERRY PRATCHETT
A European says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with me? An American says: I can't understand...
TERRY PRATCHETT
HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?
TERRY PRATCHETT
Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.
TERRY PRATCHETT
If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's wha...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of goi...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's not enough to be able to pick up a sword. You have to know which end to poke into the enemy.
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his lif...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended....
TERRY PRATCHETT
Sham Harga had run a succesful eatery for many years by always smiling, never extending credit, and ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his l...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.
TERRY PRATCHETT