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You could never convince a monkey to give you a banana by promising him limitless bananas after death in monkey heaven.


Yuval Noah Harari

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You don't give a monkey a latte.
WILL FERRELL
One day a small monkey was always getting ignored by the other monkeys ,so to get attention he said ...
GARY F EVANS...
One day a small monkey was always getting ignored by the other monkeys ,so to get attention he said ...
GARY F EVANS...
You never monkey with the truth.
BEN BRADLEE
If the monkey feels comfortable, the monkey will hump him; if he doesn't feel comfortable, the monke...
PETER BERG
I confess freely to you, I could never look long upon a monkey, without very mortifying reflections.
WILLIAM CONGREVE
In discarding the monkey and substituting man, our Father in Heaven did the monkey an undeserved inj...
MARK TWAIN
I confess freely to you, I could never look long upon a monkey, without very mortifying reflections
WILLIAM CONGREVE
This is the best reason to learn history: not in order to predict the future, but to free yourself o...
YUVAL NOAH HARARI
If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
STEPHEN WRIGHT
Monkey see, monkey do,
DANNY WAY
Monkeys are superior to men in this: when a monkey looks into a mirror, he sees a monkey.
MALCOLM DE CHAZAL
You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town
ANNE LAMOTT
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
ROBERT BENCHLEY
Kill a chicken before a monkey.
CHINESE PROVERBS
How do you think we smart we realy are?
If the whole world, economic, and everything around us,...
VICDO
Kill a chicken before a monkey.
CHINESE PROVERBS
Boomer obviously threw a monkey wrench in everybody?s plans.
BRONSON ARROYO
The Fox and the Monkey A monkey once danced in an assembly of the Beasts, and so pleased them all by...
AESOP
terrorism and anthrax and monkey pox and a pox on everybody's houses. So no thank you.
JOHN WITHERSPOON
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
Nutty as 12 monkeys in a 10 monkey barrel
DAISY DONOVAN
If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and li...
MARLON WAYANS
The Monkey Wrench Gang
CATHERINE HARDWICKE
(Hitting) is very contagious. It's kind of like monkey see, monkey do.
JAMEE JUAREZ
Monkey see, monkey do. Human being don’t see, human being don’t do.
MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA
It's like trying to teach Shakespeare to a monkey.
HUGH PIERCE
I learned the way a monkey learns - by watching its parents.
PRINCE CHARLES
I am too much alien and not enough monkey to fit in here.
MELISSA ST. HILAIRE
I am not nearly so interested in what monkey man was derived from as I am in what kind of monkey he ...
LOREN EISELEY
I learned the way a monkey learns-by watching its parents.
PRINCE CHARLES
It wouldn't happen... There hasn't been one publication by a monkey
KARL PILKINGTON
I could catch a monkey. If I was starving I could. I?d make poison darts out of the poison of the de...
MACKENZIE CROOK
Essentially, a parrot is a monkey with wings.
JOSEPH GARNER
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL
That craptastical, gutless, son-of-a-cactus-humping butt monkey!!
GEMMA HALLIDAY
Never in all her life had she imagined that this idolized millinery could look, to those who paid fo...
CHARLOTTE PERKINS GILMAN
We're building the monkey mania.
CHRISTOPHER TURNER
I am not nearly so interested in what monkey man was derived from as I am in what kind
of monke...
LOREN EISELEY
Thousand years, billion dollars,” May said to the monkey. “You. PAY.
JAMES RILEY
That really throws a monkey wrench into the whole works.
DAVE GILMOUR
Do not touch the monkey.
HOMELAND SECURITY
By trying often the monkey learns to jump from the tree
AFRICAN PROVERB
Slowly, Slowly catch the monkey
DAN COOK
You can say I had a gorilla on my back because it was definitely bigger than a monkey.
CRUZ PEDREGON
I guess you could say I’ve got a monkey on my back. A monkey named Darwin.” He shrugged off the ...
PHILLIP ANDREW BENNETT LOW
I remember being handed a score composed by Mozart at the age of eleven. What could I say? I felt li...
IGOR STRAVINSKY
One monkey don't stop no show!
AFRICAN-AMERICAN PROVERB
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
GEORGE CARLIN
I got a pet monkey called Charlie Chan.
JIMI HENDRIX
Big fat hairy monkey, hands a couple of octaves wide?
TERRY PRATCHETT
I remember being handed a score composed by Mozart at the age of eleven. What could I say? I felt li...
IGOR STRAVINSKY
You don't enjoy it when he gets you out and makes you look a monkey. But if you get runs against him...
MICHAEL ATHERTON
Now the monkey is off their backs.
DICK ANDERSON
In Africa, you know, if you're poor, at least you can go to the forest and share some mangoes wi...
EMMANUEL JAL
An example from the monkey: the higher it climbs, the more you see of its behind
GERMAN PROVERB
An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wise...
CHARLES DARWIN
It's good to get the monkey off our back.
JOE BARCELLOS
We got the monkey off our back. It feels great.
CARLOS ARROYO
An American Monkey after getting drunk on Brandy would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser ...
CHARLES DARWIN
Money makes a man; even if he were a monkey before to start with.
VIKRANT PARSAI
We've taken the monkey off our back. Now, Sandpoint is beatable.
MARIO MADDY
Sock monkey dolls make everyone smile.
DEE LINDNER
So much of me longs to run after him and cry, 'Yes, yes, yes!' A few hours ago, when I wrote I could...
DODIE SMITH
These can never be true friends: Hope, dice, a prostitute, a robber, a cheat, a goldsmith, a monkey,...
PROVERB
though it don't make you laugh outright, it may chance to make ye draw in your Lips, and shew your T...
MIGUEL DE CERVANTES
A person who misses a chance and the monkey who misses its branch can't be saved
INDIAN PROVERB
The role of the Christian is to let other people know what Jesus has done, not to think of themselve...
LEWIS N. ROE
Comedians are the monkeys of acting. When you go to the zoo, everybody loves the monkey exhibit.
TRACY MORGAN
Money makes a man; even if he were a monkey before to start with.
VIKRANT PARSAI
I think life would be so much funnier if every day you saw someone walking down the street getting h...
HARLAND WILLIAMS
No. I'm not going to be your monkey.
JON STEWART
It's nice to get the monkey off my back.
JASON BLAKE
How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful.
EVANS G. VALENS
My dream pet? I like a couple of them, man: monkey, I love dogs. See, tigers, I don't know - I c...
FRENCH MONTANA
We can exhale now. It feels like we got a little monkey off our back and we can gear up for Sunday.
MARSHALL STRICKLAND
It was nice to get that monkey off our back and get back to the way we were playing a couple of mont...
KIRBY LAW
The responses of the baby monkey are very similar to those of a human baby.
HARRY HARLOW
If they want to treat me like a monkey then I'll dance like one.
SAMUEL ETO'O
If monkey became a man, then a man can become a hero.
AMIT KALANTRI
It feels good to have that monkey off our back. It's a joyous locker room.
ANTHONY JOHNSON
These can never be true friends: Hope, dice, a prostitute, a robber, a cheat, a goldsmith, a monkey,...
INDIAN PROVERB
I don't know if you can call it a chip on my shoulder or a monkey on my back, but I shed it today.
RORY SABBATINI
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
GEORGE CARLIN
Save your ass, give my ass.... what a friend you are...
DEYTH BANGER
If a monkey, a black dog, or a woman passes in front of a praying person, his prayer is nullified
HADITH
To be honest, I'm kind of shocked. They just threw a monkey up in here or something like that.
ADRIAN PETERSON
Darwinian man, though well-behaved, at best is only a monkey shaved.
W. S. GILBERT
That's a monkey off our back. I don't think we've ever beaten them.
BRIAN RILEY
Why seek help when you can become the help! Why wish for miracle when you can become the miracle! Yo...
ABHIJIT NASKAR
This definitely gets the monkey off our backs.
KIRK WALTERS
My big break was back in the third grade playing the third monkey in 'Horton Hears a Who.'
SEBASTIAN ARCELUS
Artistic genius is an expansion of monkey imitativeness.
W. WINWOOD READE
The story goes as the line follow... alone... loony....
...

That's what's happening....
DEYTH BANGER
A tooth for a tooth, will make the world's inhabitants a people without teeth
SOTONYE ANGA
A little curly-headed, good-for-nothing, And mischief-making monkey from his birth.
LORD BYRON (GEORGE GORDON NOEL BYRON)
A tooth for a tooth, will make the world's inhabitants a people without teeth
SOTONYE ANGA
I don't know if you can call it a chip on my shoulder or a monkey on my back, but I shed it today.
RORY SABBATINI
What you give for the cause of charity in health is gold; what you give in sickness is silver; what ...
JEWISH PROVERB
Let's face it, the average computer user has the brain of a Spider Monkey.
BILL GATES

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I can tell you with confidence that Israel is not spying in the United States or in the Pentagon -- ...
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When people cross from side to side, terrorists cross, and weapons pass, too, ... That's what worrie...
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Today content is locked to play back on one device. Now we have the freedom to enjoy content on what...
ELI HARARI
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When you dismantle a system in which there is a despot who controls his people by force, you have ch...
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We must all be concerned about the threats that the Shin Bet head spoke about. Israel must stop play...
YUVAL STEINITZ
I say very clearly that Israel is not spying in the United States or against the United States.
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He has full consciousness and he's undergoing medical examinations.
YUVAL WEISS
Within the narrow confines of Permanent Washington - the journalists, lobbyists, and congressional l...
TIMOTHY NOAH
When a citizen gives his suffrage to a man of known immorality he abuses his trust; he sacrifices no...
NOAH WEBSTER
Cyber attacks are not what makes the cool war 'cool.' As a strategic matter, they do not dif...
NOAH FELDMAN
What if an asteroid were to strike planet Earth? What could we possibly do to prevent it? However ma...
TIMOTHY NOAH
There is no better example of social and economic policy discussion as an idle pastime for the rich ...
TIMOTHY NOAH
William O. Douglas married not one, not two, not three, but four hot blondes. He was not faithful to...
NOAH FELDMAN
I always believe that funny is serious and serious is funny. You don't really need a distinction...
TREVOR NOAH
I'm interested in the way major events don't necessarily announce themselves as major events...
NOAH BAUMBACH
In 1953, after the armistice ending the Korean War, South Korea lay in ruins. President Eisenhower w...
NOAH FELDMAN
This is the SEC. We've got to be ready at all times. We've got to be on edge. It's unacceptable.
JOAKIM NOAH
An empire that extends itself selectively is just being prudent about its own limitations. A republi...
NOAH FELDMAN
The pathological degree to which former Vice President Dick Cheney operated in secrecy led to govern...
TIMOTHY NOAH
The first purpose of comedy is to make people laugh. Anything deeper is a bonus. Some comedians want...
TREVOR NOAH
Faced with the collapse of Iraq into something like Lebanon - or worse, Somalia - the Bush administr...
NOAH FELDMAN
During my New York run, I injured my voice badly. I was getting increasingly hoarse, and it finally ...
TREVOR NOAH
I go back to Africa every year. I have a home there. You know, my grandfather lives back there in Ca...
JOAKIM NOAH
What type of 'person' is the for-profit corporation? A spoiled brat - all rights and no resp...
TIMOTHY NOAH
The meek may inherit the earth, but the other kind inherits the mortgage
NOAH GOLDSTEIN
The heart should be cultivated with more assiduity than the head.
NOAH WEBSTER
I'm not an abrasive person. I do speak my mind, but my goal is never to offend. I don't inte...
TREVOR NOAH
No truth is more evident to my mind than that the Christian religion must be the basis of any govern...
NOAH WEBSTER
Haiti is an amazing country. Even though the people there have so little, their attitudes resonate a...
NOAH MUNCK
I'd never have guessed that, six years after Medicare introduced a drug benefit, it would still ...
TIMOTHY NOAH
Steve Jobs was the greatest manufacturer of consumer products of his age. His marketing vision put h...
TIMOTHY NOAH
We like to say it's acoustic driven rock.
NOAH SMITH
The meek may inherit the earth, but the other kind inherits the mortgage
NOAH GOLDSTEIN
We've got to come back on edge.
JOAKIM NOAH
We're playing soft. We're listening to all the hype. We've got to get back that starving attitude. I...
JOAKIM NOAH
I pitched the idea to FX that there's this larger 'Fargo' universe where there's tru...
NOAH HAWLEY
The Bible must be considered as the great source of all the truth by which men are to be guided in g...
NOAH WEBSTER
It is an object of vast magnitude that systems of education should be adopted and pursued which may ...
NOAH WEBSTER
The House of Representatives eliminated the filibuster way back in the 19th century, and somehow it ...
TIMOTHY NOAH
Moderates tend more than ideologues to be other-directed types who respond to external pressure.
TIMOTHY NOAH
The embourgeoisement of China's proletariat may be the inevitable result of its industrializatio...
TIMOTHY NOAH
Electing Barack Obama president was a glorious Jackie Robinson moment for the United States of Ameri...
TIMOTHY NOAH
In denying protection for the Yellowstone cutthroat trout, the Bush administration is once again ign...
NOAH GREENWALD
I still carry the residue of the pressure I felt as a child to read and appreciate the right books. ...
NOAH BAUMBACH
He has been working hard. During the off week, he went to the coaches for individual instruction. I'...
JOAKIM NOAH
When I sold my first book, 'A Conspiracy of Tall Men,' it was part of a two-book deal. It wa...
NOAH HAWLEY
In a way, machines are lucky because they are not produced by chance or mistake
NELSON NOAH
If we worried about as many things as you guys do, our heads would explode. We're just out there pla...
JOAKIM NOAH
Woody Allen's movies are so much a part of me. I grew up watching them over and over and would r...
NOAH BAUMBACH
There were little things addressed a while ago that we needed to work on, and we didn't do that to t...
JOAKIM NOAH
People remember champions. That's the way it is.
JOAKIM NOAH
We didn't come out with the same intensity (as Saturday). We needed to come out and play with intens...
JOAKIM NOAH
This game mattered a lot more to us than it did to them. But we didn't play that way.
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It's pretty exciting to play Kentucky on Saturday, that's always a date you circle on the calendar. ...
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My heart knows what my mind only think it knows.
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Then we brought the hammer.
JOAKIM NOAH
The hood is also a low-stress, comfortable life. All your mental energy goes into getting by, so you...
TREVOR NOAH
As a comedian, I'm forced to have a tough skin. Until people laugh, they are detractors. You wal...
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We always have our classic yellow and our double chocolate and recently we decided to keep red velve...
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Language is not an abstract construction of the learned, or of dictionary makers, but is something a...
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Whenever the very rich hold views at odds with those of the entire population, the federal governmen...
TIMOTHY NOAH
When a person screams in pain, the actual pain is only half the noise they make. The other half is t...
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I lost contact with my father for many years because of apartheid. For, like, six years, I didn'...
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Spoken language's elaborate rhythms and inflections convey more meaning per word than the printe...
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Cyber war takes place largely in secret, unknown to the general public on both sides.
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The Sudan bombing is a blot on the Clinton presidency, and a blot it ought to remain.
TIMOTHY NOAH
It's really important to have balance, spend some time in nature, go to a few parties, enjoy my ...
JOAKIM NOAH
The ecclesiastical establishments of Europe which serve to support tyrannical governments are not th...
NOAH WEBSTER
It is the sincere desire of the writer that our citizens should early understand that the genuine so...
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In my view, the Christian religion is the most important and one of the first things in which all ch...
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I'm not doing anything special. I'm just getting easy baskets in transition.
JOAKIM NOAH
I'm thinking about naming my first son Emmy so I can say I've got one. I want Emmy, Oscar an...
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To take part in this brothel through the payment of my taxes, that had become to me unbearable.
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TIMOTHY NOAH
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YANNICK NOAH
We're all laughing about it now. Come [tonight], it's not going to be funny at all.
JOAKIM NOAH
It sucks. But we just need to get him back. I know he's probably pretty embarrassed, but we just nee...
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Life is glorious, but it can be counted on to be cruel.
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Throughout my journey in basketball, I always have someone to talk to in my father. I know how hard ...
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We have a saying in France. A dog doesn't make a cat.
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Big Baby is a monster. He's going to get his regardless.
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If you look at it, the history of comedy has always been strongest among the nations who have been p...
TREVOR NOAH
Everything is unfolding based on causes and conditions. Our happiness or suffering is dependent on h...
NOAH LEVINE
I believe in Karma. If the good is sown, the good is collected. When positive things are made, that ...
YANNICK NOAH
I'm literally driving in the middle of the night, and my phone rings, and my manager says, '...
TREVOR NOAH
The Pentagon got fed up with its recruits getting ripped off by payday lenders and in 2007 got Congr...
TIMOTHY NOAH
Atreyu comes from a land called Fantasia. It's an imaginary land.
NOAH HATHAWAY
On Wall Street, financial crisis destroys jobs. Here in Washington, it creates them. The rest is jus...
TIMOTHY NOAH
In the modern world there's no such thing as formality. A dinner jacket used to mean a tuxedo, y...
NOAH EMMERICH
It's nice being friends over a period of time with people whose music you like so much, or other...
NOAH BAUMBACH
It's a different animal. You just have to play with focus and we'll be fine.
JOAKIM NOAH
We allowed way too many offensive rebounds. We're a young team and sometimes you have to learn throu...
JOAKIM NOAH
Harley's been influential, but I'm not a big Harley fan.
NOAH HATHAWAY
It used to be for writers that that six seasons and a movie thing, that's the holy grail as writ...
NOAH HAWLEY
To pine for the days before public education became a practical reality is to pine for an America he...
TIMOTHY NOAH
When the topic is growing income inequality, it's hard to prettify an imbalance between the rich...
TIMOTHY NOAH
An orthodox belief in big government's inefficiency cannot coexist with an orthodox belief in pr...
TIMOTHY NOAH
Marriage is the most obvious public practice about which information is readily available. When comb...
NOAH FELDMAN
Obama is an intelligent man whose life and work experience sensitize him to class distinctions.
TIMOTHY NOAH
I don't think I have thick skin, but I heal fast. It's easy to break through, but I heal fas...
TREVOR NOAH
Maybe it's because I come from a very utopian world of being a comedian, but I'm used to man...
TREVOR NOAH
I live in a country where I'd say nine out of ten people know me when I walk through the streets...
TREVOR NOAH
I think all my movies are about transitions to some degree.
NOAH BAUMBACH
A miracle is often the willingness to see the common in an uncommon way.
NOAH BENSHEA
The world has been taught to be scared of him, but the reality is that he is scared of the world bec...
TREVOR NOAH
A man is not determined by how much he earns. You can still be the man of the house and earn less th...
TREVOR NOAH
Nelson Mandela once said, 'If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head....
TREVOR NOAH
In any society built on institutionalized racism, race-mixing doesn't merely challenge the system as...
TREVOR NOAH
We could, of course, be exposed to a bid.
NOAH GREENHILL
In removing the friction involved in paying bills, electronic billing has substantially increased th...
TIMOTHY NOAH
I was born in South Africa during apartheid, a system of laws that made it illegal for people to mix...
TREVOR NOAH
Let me be clear. 'The Good Father' isn't a handbook on how to assassinate the president.
NOAH HAWLEY
The Mormons' passage from bugbears of the Republican Party to its stalwarts may be analogized to...
NOAH FELDMAN
The liberation of Iraq, which is already hard to justify from the perspective of American interests,...
TIMOTHY NOAH
The hometown economic elite - rich local families or individuals whom people used to praise or revil...
TIMOTHY NOAH