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Dear Aunt Loretta,
Thank you so much for the awesome pants!
How did you know I wanted that for Christmas?
I love the way the pants look on my legs!
All my friends will be so jealous that I have my very own pants.
Thank you for making this the best Christmas ever!
Sincerely, Greg


Jeff Kinney

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A criminal pipeline from Cuba to Florida threatens U.S. national security interests with Cuban migra...
JEFF DUNCAN
In early 1961 a new president, John F. Kennedy, was told by military leaders and civilian officials ...
JEFF GREENFIELD
'Dream Act' kids are like all other American kids, with the exception that they have to work...
JEFF HAWKINS
Marriage has been defined by every legislature that has ever sat in the United States from every Sta...
JEFF SESSIONS
The funny thing about 'Take Shelter' is that a lot of people talk about how it was allegory ...
JEFF NICHOLS
The basic social contract is that citizens agree to follow the law, pay their taxes, and devote thei...
JEFF SESSIONS
When we talk about the things at Airbnb that are challenging and that they are going to have to over...
JEFF JORDAN
The perception of Donald Trump in capitals around the world is shaped, in many ways, by CNN. Continu...
JEFF ZUCKER
I'm skeptical of any mission that has advertisers at its centerpiece.
JEFF BEZOS
I don't know any artists that are really emotionally well adjusted. In fact, I think we're a...
JEFF BUCKLEY
A company shouldn't get addicted to being shiny, because shiny doesn't last.
JEFF BEZOS
All are free to believe or not believe; all are free to practice a faith or not. But those who belie...
JEFF MILLER
I continue to vote against such spending increases, but sometimes I think some of my Republican coll...
JEFF MILLER
Democrats have no agenda, no plan for the future, and no sense of leadership.
JEFF MILLER
In our open society, we are inclined to give to the less fortunate for the pure goodness of giving. ...
JEFF MILLER
The democratic process is only as great as the people who participate in it.
JEFF MILLER
There'll always be serendipity involved in discovery.
JEFF BEZOS
If you can't tolerate critics, don't do anything new or interesting.
JEFF BEZOS
Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
JEFF FOXWORTHY
One of the big questions in the climate change debate: Are humans any smarter than frogs in a pot? I...
JEFF GOODELL
But Big Oil and Big Coal have always been as skilled at propaganda as they are at mining and drillin...
JEFF GOODELL
I'm concerned with the future. I'm concerned with my life, my present, my friends, people I ...
JEFF BUCKLEY
Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat doo...
JEFF FOXWORTHY
I come from a family of teasers myself. My grandfather was from Liverpool, and he had a dry sense of...
JEFF BRIDGES
The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney ...
JEFF FOXWORTHY
A smart man only believes half of what he hears, a wise man knows which half.
JEFF COOPER
I still look forward to doing things I've never done before. But the fear beforehand is always w...
JEFF HARDY
I always liked Disney films. To this day I think 'Bambi' is great.
JEFF KOONS
I think there's a lot of, unfortunately, unfunny ventriloquists out there, so they've got a ...
JEFF DUNHAM
I've always enjoyed feeling a connection to the avant-garde, such as Dada and surrealism and pop...
JEFF KOONS
I teach a Bible study for homeless guys in downtown Atlanta every week. Been doing it for years. Tha...
JEFF FOXWORTHY
Imperfection and perfection go so hand in hand, and our dark and our light are so intertwined, that ...
JEFF BRIDGES
We see our customers as invited guests to a party, and we are the hosts. It's our job every day ...
JEFF BEZOS
The common question that gets asked in business is, 'why?' That's a good question, but a...
JEFF BEZOS
If you have an idea, you have to move on it, to make a gesture. Drawing is an immediate way of artic...
JEFF KOONS
The key to artificial intelligence has always been the representation.
JEFF HAWKINS
The tax code is weighted toward the ultra-wealthy and ultra-wealthy corporations and has created an ...
JEFF FORTENBERRY
The films that have influenced me most are: 'The Hustler', 'Badlands', 'Hud'...
JEFF NICHOLS
I now, more and more, appreciate when I'm in a group of good people and get to work in good movi...
JEFF GOLDBLUM
We continue to be exasperated by the view, apparently gaining momentum in certain circles, that arme...
JEFF COOPER
Where I grew up, I could be a punk rocker and a jock. But in college, it became apparent that those ...
JEFF AMENT
I think Vice is vastly overrated. And I think that if you are interested in reaching young males, wh...
JEFF ZUCKER
I think it's important for comedians to do our little part. I don't do it carelessly. I do i...
JEFF ROSS
But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint d...
JEFF LINDSAY
It took me a moment. I blinked, and suddenly it swam into focus and I had to frown very hard to keep...
JEFF LINDSAY
I let it ring. I wanted to breathe for a few minutes, and I could think of nothing that couldn't wai...
JEFF LINDSAY
What a terrible thing life can be.
JEFF LINDSAY
What do you want a clock for?” “To find out what time it is,” I said. “I think that’s the ...
JEFF LINDSAY
It revealed a cruelty that really made one wonder if the universe was such a good idea after all.
JEFF LINDSAY
I was never more alive than when the Dark Passenger was driving.
JEFF LINDSAY
It’s always me, isn’t it? I’m not really a very nice person, but for some reason it’s always...
JEFF LINDSAY
The key to a happy life is to have accomplishments to be proud of and purpose to look forward to, an...
JEFF LINDSAY
Of course, having information to use is one thing. Knowing what it means and how to use it is a diff...
JEFF LINDSAY
I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?
JEFF LINDSAY
A man who discovers his pants are on fire tends to have very little time to worry about somebody els...
JEFF LINDSAY
Nothing makes you feel more naked than someone identifying a desire you never knew you possessed.
JEFF ZENTNER
People can transcend and overcome their differences and be very easily bonded.
JEFF FORTENBERRY
There is no such thing as political science, but there are tenancies so strong that they might as we...
JEFF GREENFIELD
While the Census Bureau already has a legal obligation to keep people's information confidential...
JEFF DUNCAN
It's not a born-again thing; it was a peaceful, really, really cool moment where I just felt tha...
JEFF FISHER
The beauty of the Internet is that anybody can be a broadcaster now.
JEFF ZUCKER
I am not the Jeff Sessions my detractors have tried to create. I am not a racist. I am not insensiti...
JEFF SESSIONS