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Great use they have, when in the hands
Of one like me, who understands,
Who understands the time and place,
The person, manner, and the grace,
Which fools neglect; so that we find,
If all the requisites are join'd,
From whence a perfect joke must spring,
A joke's a very serious thing.


Charles Churchill

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No lover ever studied every whim of his mistress as I did those of President Roosevelt.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
The human story does not always unfold like a mathematical calculation on the principle that two and...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
Headmasters have powers at their disposal with which Prime Ministers have never yet been invested
WINSTON CHURCHILL
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
Although present on the occasion, I have no clear recollection of the events leading up to it.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
So they [the Government] go on in strange paradox, decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irre...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
The Arabs are a backwards people who eat nothing but Camel dung
WINSTON CHURCHILL
It is no use saying, 'We are doing our best.' You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
I got into my bones the essential structure of the ordinary British sentence-which is a noble thing.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
We must beware of needless innovation, especially when guided by logic.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
We must just KBO ('Keep Buggering On').
WINSTON CHURCHILL
Death came very easily to her. She had lived such an innocent and loving life of service to others a...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
Although prepared for martyrdom, I prefer that it be postponed.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
There is nothing so exhilarating as to be shot at and missed.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
They are clearly very much in love. It must be the end of a series of nightmare years for Camilla, e...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
If you must kill a man, it costs you nothing to be polite about it.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
[And a pamphlet called] Pick me up ... There is no genuine hatred against Herr Hitler.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
The Russians will try all the rooms in a house, enter those that are not locked, and when they come ...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
By being so long in the lowest form I gained an immense advantage over the cleverest boys . . . I go...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
If you're going through hell, keep going!
WINSTON CHURCHILL
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
I have been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who get drunk.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
Sure I am of this, that you have only to endure to conquer. You have only to persevere to save yours...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
Please be good enough to put your conclusions and recommendations on one sheet of paper in the very ...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
All great empires of the future will be empires of the mind.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
I'm quite encouraged by the results and at this point do not know whether an actual investigation wi...
WARD CHURCHILL
Why, you may take the most gallant sailor, the most intrepid airman or the most audacious soldier, p...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
Air power can either paralyze the enemy's military action or compel him to devote to the defense of ...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
I have taken more good from alcohol than alcohol has taken from me.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
War is a game that is played with a smile. If you can't smile, grin. If you can't grin, keep out of ...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe ...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
When the war of the giants is over the wars of the pygmies will begin.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
No matter how enmeshed a commander becomes in the elaboration of his own thoughts, it is sometimes n...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
When you took your seat I felt as if a woman had come into my bathroom and I had only the sponge to ...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
I'm not going to prove the system works, because the proof of the fact the system didn't work is the...
WARD CHURCHILL
We must have a better word than 'prefabricated'. Why not 'ready-made'?
WINSTON CHURCHILL
Do not criticize your government when out of the country. Never cease to do so when at home.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Com...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
It is not alone that property, in all its forms, is struck at, but that liberty, in all its forms, i...
WINSTON CHURCHILL
In those days he was wiser than he is now--he used frequently to take my advice.
WINSTON CHURCHILL
I gather, young man, that you wish to be a member of Parliament. The first lesson that you must lear...
WINSTON CHURCHILL