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He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.


Woody Allen

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I think Woody Allen is Woody Allen, and no matter where he goes he still makes his Woody Allen films...
ABBAS KIAROSTAMI
If Woody Allen were a Muslim, he'd be dead by now.
SALMAN RUSHDIE
I tried to commit suicide by sticking my head in the oven, but there was a cake in it.
LESLEY BOONE
It was kind of scary because working with Woody Allen becomes sort of a big deal in your mind. He di...
RADHA MITCHELL
The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH
Probably the only way Woody Allen and I are similar is that he has a lot to say about Nietzsche.
T. J. MILLER
People try to say suicide is the most cowardly act a man could ever commit. I don't think that's tru...
TOMMY TRAN
Who are you, Woody Allen?
JOY BEHAR
I was ready to commit suicide. Then the next thing I know, I'm dancing on the table.
FLOYD REESE
Woody Allen is a great dramatist and a great comedian.
CATE BLANCHETT
My early prose style - this is so embarrassing - was sort of a suburban, Presbyterian knockoff of Wo...
JOHN HUGHES
If Woody Allen were a Muslim, he'd be dead by now.
SALMAN RUSHDIE
The reason I do what I do is because I was influenced by Steve Martin, by Woody Allen, by Bob Newhar...
ELLEN DEGENERES
It wasn't until '94 when I tried to commit suicide that I realized that it wasn't about the money.
VANILLA ICE
He could have done it as a last act of defiance towards us. Perhaps he did commit suicide.
CARLA PONTE
After working with Woody Allen, sharing screen space with De Niro was a dream come true.
ANUPAM KHER
Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's a...
DAVID LETTERMAN
When Maimonides says that the Messiah will come but that 'he may tarry,' we see the origin of every ...
CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS
Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It'...
DAVID LETTERMAN
A candidate could easily commit political suicide if he were to come up with an unconventional thoug...
E.B. (ELWYN BROOKS) WHITE
It looked like a very solid case. You had a woman who tried to commit suicide with her kids. There w...
BRUCE BARTLETT
I'm a writer and director, and the movie I've seen a million times is 'Stardust Memories...
ROMAN COPPOLA
My influences were Woody Allen and Lenny Bruce.
DAVID STEINBERG
I was also a big Woody Allen fan. When I got into college I listened to Lenny Bruce but it's tak...
MARC MARON
I'm such a big fan of Woody Allen. I once tried staying at the same hotel as him, hoping I would...
DEEPIKA PADUKONE
Nothing in my life has ever made me want to commit suicide more than people's reaction to my trying ...
EMILIE AUTUMN
I hate Woody Allen physically, I dislike that kind of man.
ORSON WELLES
Woody Allen stayed so good because he never left New York. Howard Stern stayed so good because he ne...
ARTIE LANGE
Love will commit, or love will commit suicide.
ANTHONY LICCIONE
...I might mention my belief that girls who like Woody Allen movies are nicer girls than girls who d...
ADAM LEVIN
When the mind is filled with positivity the thoughts of suicide becomes virtually non existing.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
Woody Allen likes to do a lot of master shots. He likes to get the whole thing in one take, and so y...
LARRY DAVID
Suicide thought is a negative force that needs to be overcome with a positive force,positive thinkin...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
Suicide is an option for the unwise,but for the wise suicide has got no room to be given an option.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
Suicide is never the solution to life's problems but hope.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
I definitely have a little Woody Allen inside of me. That is true.
AUTRE NE VEUT
Why bother with a cunning plan when a simple one will do?
TERRY PRATCHETT
It wasn't until '94 when I tried to commit suicide that I realized that it wasn't about ...
VANILLA ICE
You should give up sarcasm. People could get the wrong idea about you.
MICHAEL PRYOR
I know exactly who I am, what I'm about and who I will become.
EMMA PAUL
It is better to grope in the dark and wade through a million errors to reach the Truth than to entru...
SUDHIR KAKAR
2.5.03.02.005: Generally speaking, if you fiddle with something, it will break. Don't.
JASPER FFORDE
Well, obviously I was excited by the idea that Woody Allen was going to direct it. But at the same t...
RADHA MITCHELL
If Woody Allen called me, I'd be there straight away. Who wouldn't? Truly.
JULIE DELPY
Everyday is another chance to do something great.
EMMA PAUL
Not many artists commit suicide by leaping off the pinnacle of success.
RABBI HILLEL
We are the books we read and the things we love.
CATH CROWLEY
If you argue with a fool, you become a fool.
L.A. HILDEN
You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm!
COLETTE
I have this feeling, like I'm waiting for something. But I have no idea what.
JENNIFER NIVEN
He was offered scholarships by Colgate and Niagara, but he wants to be an engineer, so he picked us.
WAYNE WILSON
there are moments when one has to choose between living one's own life, fully, entirely, completely ...
OSCAR WILDE
I think you can tell when you meet someone whether they read novels. There's some hollowness if they...
PHILIP HENSHER
Always be true to your friends, just as you are to yourself.
MEG CABOT
Not many artists commit suicide by leaping off the pinnacle of success.
BEN OKRI
To write poetry and to commit suicide, apparently so contradictory, had really been the same, attemp...
JOHN FOWLES
Why commit technological suicide by restricting the flow of talent into the United States?
MICHIO KAKU
I prefer to live in the country where it's quiet. Woody Allen movies there are dubbed into Itali...
PATRICIA HIGHSMITH
When you're young and healthy you can plan on Monday to commit suicide, and by Wednesday you're laug...
MARILYN MONROE
Startups don't just die, they commit suicide
TAKUDZWA RAZEMBA
This will be conducive to the development of Sino-US relations and China's relationships with the re...
HE YAFEI
They are sorry there is no more Soviet Union and they don't know how to act.
HE YAFEI
Seeing eye to an eye is a must, especially when there lies a case, or an intent, to meet; even by in...
PRIYAVRAT THAREJA
These findings provide strong support for the recommendations encouraging the public to consume more...
FENG HE
We are willing to import more U.S. goods.
HE YAFEI
The government really wants to slow down investment, but it can't control local governments who have...
HE FAN
He was always a great listener. He absorbed any wisdom you tried to pass on. I could tell he was goi...
ROLAND HEMOND
So smoking is the perfect way to commit suicide without actually dying. I smoke because it's bad, it...
DAMIEN HIRST
When you're in an extreme situation you tend to avoid facing it by getting caught up in little detai...
RYū MURAKAMI
[For an actor who was then living in New York, Daniels said, working on a Woody Allen movie was some...
JEFF DANIELS
They tried to get me - I got them first! (suicide by drinking Lysol).
VACHEL LINDSAY
Woody Allen movies notwithstanding, therapy, in the early eighties, was not exactly a hot conversati...
DAN HILL
Since raised blood pressure is the major cause of stroke, the blood pressure lowering effect of pota...
FENG HE
I like to find old things
and I picked up that arrowhead
in tears, that broken point
...
LI HE
The average fruit and vegetable intake in most developed countries is about three servings per day, ...
FENG HE
This is a critical moment. There is a lot of opposition to continuing the reforms as they are today.
HE WEIFANG
The only thing I really recommend, if you're starting out in stand-up is to not try to copy anyb...
ELLEN DEGENERES
If you were going to commit suicide you wouldn't do it like this, it was a complete accident,
BRIAN HARVEY
Jeff Bodine was saying that when he gets depressed, that he cleans house.
TANYA TUCKER
As a young child, I suffered from poor health. My parents encouraged me to swim, which really improv...
SUI HE
They are the Chinese heroes. I am happy for their performance and the result is not the most importa...
HE ZHENLIANG
Even when he's making dumplings with peasants, he speaks memorized words and sounds like a People's ...
HE WEIFANG
The situation exists in almost every well-known Chinese university.
HE WEIFANG
Part of our mission is to find out what kind of assistance is required.
HE CHANGCHUI
The best way to resolve Sino-US trade imbalance is to expand bilateral trade cooperation. Restrictin...
HE YAFEI
I unequivocally state the wish that the Communist Party should become two parties.
HE WEIFANG
The new managed floating currency regime is just an interim system. There is a chance of a further w...
HE FAN
Eventually, we found that the situation there was more serious than what we imagined.
HE CHANGCHUI
Relaxing, experiencing nature and laughing are what rejuvenate me and make me feel happy. I believe ...
SUI HE
Baghdad is determined to force the Mongols of our age to commit suicide at its gates.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
Does he love you so much?" "He would commit murder for me.
GASTON LEROUX
If Milosevic is to be tried, he has to be tried by a proper court, an impartial, properly constitute...
HAROLD PINTER
He beat me on the outside, not by much. I tried to hit the puck, but I couldn't, so I tried to hit h...
FRANCOIS BEAUCHEMIN
Maxim 1:
Pillage, then burn.

-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Merc...
HOWARD TAYLER
Every meeting led to a parting, and so it would, as long as life was mortal. In every meeting there ...
CASSANDRA CLARE
A Decalogue of Canons for Observation in Practical Life:

1. Never put off to tomorrow wha...
THOMAS JEFFERSON
It seems like (Allen) wasn't feeling safe enough in the class, so he had to record it.
MARILYN HARRIS
I think he had some issues he was fighting and he tried to fight them alone.
DAVID MCKAY
We're seeing a minor technical rebound after Wall Street rebounded from two days of losses. The key ...
ANDREW TO
We are afraid that our freedoms and liberties will be infringed in the future.
ANDREW TO

More Woody Allen

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
WOODY ALLEN
One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, tha...
WOODY ALLEN
Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
WOODY ALLEN
For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu...
WOODY ALLEN
Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y...
WOODY ALLEN
It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
WOODY ALLEN
The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
WOODY ALLEN
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
WOODY ALLEN
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I...
WOODY ALLEN
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN
More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut...
WOODY ALLEN
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
WOODY ALLEN
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy...
WOODY ALLEN
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. ...
WOODY ALLEN
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN
How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
WOODY ALLEN
Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f...
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t...
WOODY ALLEN
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter...
WOODY ALLEN
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
WOODY ALLEN
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o...
WOODY ALLEN
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
WOODY ALLEN
Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t...
WOODY ALLEN
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca...
WOODY ALLEN
I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
WOODY ALLEN
The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
WOODY ALLEN
The higher the school rating the better off we are in having perspective projects look at our area,
WOODY ALLEN
A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN
I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
WOODY ALLEN
The heart wants what it wants.
WOODY ALLEN
Chapter 1.
He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t...
WOODY ALLEN
Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym.
WOODY ALLEN
You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
WOODY ALLEN
Early in life, I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety
WOODY ALLEN
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
WOODY ALLEN
That [sex] was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
WOODY ALLEN
I am very attached to this watch. My grandfather sold it to me when he was dying.
WOODY ALLEN
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
WOODY ALLEN
Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man a...
WOODY ALLEN
believe it when I see it.
WOODY ALLEN
All men fear death. It’s a natural fear that consumes us all. We fear death because we feel that w...
WOODY ALLEN
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman...
WOODY ALLEN
I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN
And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent o...
WOODY ALLEN
I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
WOODY ALLEN
I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British
WOODY ALLEN
The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence...
WOODY ALLEN
All the crap that they tell you about ... getting joy, and having a kind of wisdom in your golden ye...
WOODY ALLEN
Now we're in the final stages. There's a lot of (due diligence) work to be done in the next 120 days...
WOODY ALLEN
There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says...
WOODY ALLEN
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
WOODY ALLEN
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
WOODY ALLEN
Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's,...
WOODY ALLEN
Това описание е било изтълкувано от средновековното д...
WOODY ALLEN
In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th...
WOODY ALLEN
Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
WOODY ALLEN
In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and...
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked...
WOODY ALLEN
I am at two with nature.
WOODY ALLEN
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
WOODY ALLEN
Marriage is the death of hope.
WOODY ALLEN
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN
It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is ...
WOODY ALLEN
Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc...
WOODY ALLEN
A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An...
WOODY ALLEN
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
WOODY ALLEN
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi...
WOODY ALLEN
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN
I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
WOODY ALLEN
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
WOODY ALLEN
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
WOODY ALLEN
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
WOODY ALLEN
The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get y...
WOODY ALLEN
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
WOODY ALLEN
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo...
WOODY ALLEN
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?
WOODY ALLEN
Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
WOODY ALLEN
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
WOODY ALLEN
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
WOODY ALLEN
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
WOODY ALLEN
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h...
WOODY ALLEN
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
WOODY ALLEN
sex is simple, love stings afterwards.
WOODY ALLEN
Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca...
WOODY ALLEN
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting qu...
WOODY ALLEN
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN
I'm a timid person-I was beaten up by Quakers
WOODY ALLEN
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
WOODY ALLEN
Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer
WOODY ALLEN
Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank ...
WOODY ALLEN
It is a known secret that organized crime in America takes in over 40 billion dollars a year. This i...
WOODY ALLEN
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and...
WOODY ALLEN
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and...
WOODY ALLEN
The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
WOODY ALLEN
The baby is fine, the only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
WOODY ALLEN
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
WOODY ALLEN
Sex between 2 people is a beautiful thing; between 5 it's fantastic.
WOODY ALLEN
My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make fi...
WOODY ALLEN
If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
WOODY ALLEN
My brain? That's my second favorite organ.
WOODY ALLEN
As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge...
WOODY ALLEN
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN
In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
WOODY ALLEN
I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
WOODY ALLEN
Eighty percent of success is just showing up
WOODY ALLEN
Everytime I hear Wagner I feel like invading Poland.
WOODY ALLEN
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
WOODY ALLEN
Recently there has been a lot of controversy between the countries, and I would hope that now the tw...
WOODY ALLEN
I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
WOODY ALLEN
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declare...
WOODY ALLEN
If there is reincarnation, I'dd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.
WOODY ALLEN
The higher the school rating the better off we are in having perspective projects look at our area,
WOODY ALLEN
I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews...
WOODY ALLEN
The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and s...
WOODY ALLEN
Cloquet hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak.
WOODY ALLEN
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday nig...
WOODY ALLEN
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
One day about a month ago, I really hit bottom. You know, I just felt that in a Godless universe, I ...
WOODY ALLEN
There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and h...
WOODY ALLEN
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Th...
WOODY ALLEN
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure ou...
WOODY ALLEN
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
WOODY ALLEN
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
WOODY ALLEN
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
WOODY ALLEN
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
WOODY ALLEN
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum...
WOODY ALLEN
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
WOODY ALLEN
Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ...
WOODY ALLEN
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
WOODY ALLEN
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
WOODY ALLEN
I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
WOODY ALLEN
What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
WOODY ALLEN
The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway.
WOODY ALLEN
The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
WOODY ALLEN
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
WOODY ALLEN
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun...
WOODY ALLEN
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
WOODY ALLEN
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
WOODY ALLEN
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
WOODY ALLEN
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead.
WOODY ALLEN
For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ...
WOODY ALLEN
I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
WOODY ALLEN
If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.
WOODY ALLEN
Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'
WOODY ALLEN
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m...
WOODY ALLEN
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w...
WOODY ALLEN
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife -- a depress...
WOODY ALLEN
Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through ...
WOODY ALLEN
If there is reincarnation, I'dd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.
WOODY ALLEN
That [sex] was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
WOODY ALLEN
The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.
WOODY ALLEN
Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words
WOODY ALLEN
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
WOODY ALLEN
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
WOODY ALLEN
I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher - they are going to make a board game out of it
WOODY ALLEN
The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the ...
WOODY ALLEN
You mellow too much you ripen and rot
WOODY ALLEN
Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through ...
WOODY ALLEN
I am at two with nature
WOODY ALLEN
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
WOODY ALLEN
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -...
WOODY ALLEN
Where am I, anyhow? I mean, what happened to everybody?
WOODY ALLEN
My family members are here with me because they're afraid to stay at home. There is no excuse for it...
WOODY ALLEN
I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with bas...
WOODY ALLEN
The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly...
WOODY ALLEN
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
WOODY ALLEN
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
WOODY ALLEN
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a cross-roads. One path leads to despair and utte...
WOODY ALLEN
I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants
WOODY ALLEN
These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you....
WOODY ALLEN
We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand sc...
WOODY ALLEN
Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
WOODY ALLEN
I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
WOODY ALLEN