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I am the sunrise of sunsets, and I make love like noon at midnight.


Jarod Kintz

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I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!

DARK JAR TIN ZOO
When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Si...
WILL ADVISE
I make love like an albino sings—softly, and from sunset to sunrise (except in Alaska).
JAROD KINTZ
The Lord has turned all our sunsets into sunrise.
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If you were to ask Jarod Kintz‬‬‬ what his personal favourite joke was, he'd say the one with ...
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If Jarod Kintz was a cat, he'd stalk people silently and deadly. Right now, all he does is bark at t...
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Here, I took one look at the lagoons and the sunsets, and I fell in love.
CHIQUI EZCURRA MULLER
The dead of midnight is the noon of thought.
ANNA LETITIA BARBAULD
The dead of midnight is the noon of thought.
ANNA BARBAULD
When you're reaching the end of the semester and you just wanna die. Coffin Making 101 is literally ...
KAREN QUAN
When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a tra...
WILL ADVISE
On the interception, I was out of bounds,
LIKE I
Married to the Mob.
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I was so concerned with getting the ball out of my hands and not taking the sack, that sometimes I t...
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I knew I had to throw the ball better,'' Manning said of his poor start.
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I think the reason that I have that title or that moniker is because people don't know what to expec...
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I'm not happy, that's all I can say about it,'' he said.
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Hello you're with Drudge.
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I can field my position. If I start worrying about being ready for a line drive too soon that means ...
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I told him that he played a great game,'' said Falcons quarterback Michael Vick , who like Manning w...
LIKE I
You're either ready and prepared to take on the task, or you're not,'' he said.
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throw enough shit at the wall and some should stick?
LIKE I
I don't expect Christian Fundamentalists to reach out to me. They are adamant that homosexuals are i...
LIKE I
I told my Nike representative, 'Why didn't you guys use me for this?''' Williams said, laughing.
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casually made his 'abort black fetuses' argument.
LIKE I
I did not have one butterfly out there today,'' he said.
LIKE I
Aye, well, I've got my garden.
LIKE I
I got players with bad watches - they can't tell midnight from noon.
CASEY STENGEL
I got players with bad watches - they can't tell midnight from noon.
CASEY STENGEL
- Thirteen numbers applied to be on the face of the clock, and I hand selected each one.
- Sele...
STEFAN D
Like all best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
My husband has quite simply been my strength and stay all these years, and I owe him a debt greater ...
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I have been aware all the time that my peoples, spread far and wide throughout every continent and o...
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The upward course of a nation's history is due in the long run to the soundness of heart of its ...
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Therefore I am sure that this, my Coronation, is not the symbol of a power and a splendor that are g...
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The events that I have attended to mark my Diamond Jubilee have been a humbling experience. It has t...
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I have in sincerity pledged myself to your service, as so many of you are pledged to mine. Throughou...
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I hope that tomorrow we can all, wherever we are, join in expressing our grief at Diana's loss, ...
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Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I am a morning guy, I like to start around noon time.
JON BON JOVI
First, I want to pay tribute to Diana myself. She was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I cannot lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice but I can do something e...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your s...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
We lost the American colonies because we lacked the statesmanship to know the right time and the man...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
These wretched babies don't come until they are ready.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
It is easy enough to define what the Commonwealth is not. Indeed this is quite a popular pastime.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I have to be seen to be believed.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
A picture is worth a thousand words, but the way I paint I'm going to need to contact an editor. Eve...
JAMES LEE SCHMIDT
My grandpa, unlike Jarod Kintz, was an Elder. Now that he's dead and gone, he's a ghost French wizar...
WILL ADVISE
At Christmas, I am always struck by how the spirit of togetherness lies also at the heart of the Chr...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
For many, Christmas is also a time for coming together. But for others, service will come first.
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The lessons from the peace process are clear; whatever life throws at us, our individual responses w...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I myself prefer my New Zealand eggs for breakfast.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
The British constitution has always been puzzling and always will be.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Madam President, speaking here in Dublin Castle it is impossible to ignore the weight of history, as...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
In remembering the appalling suffering of war on both sides, we recognise how precious is the peace ...
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What were once only hopes for the future have now come to pass; it is almost exactly 13 years since ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
To all those who have suffered as a consequence of our troubled past I extend my sincere thoughts an...
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Grief is the price we pay for love.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
At its heart, engineering is about using science to find creative, practical solutions. It is a nobl...
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To what greater inspiration and counsel can we turn than to the imperishable truth to be found in th...
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It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained.
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I have behind me not only the splendid traditions and the annals of more than a thousand years but t...
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No one who knew Diana will ever forget her. Millions of others who never met her, but felt they knew...
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CRYSTAL WOODS
I don't know if I have a favorite color.
KATE MIDDLETON
It's very special having a new little girl.
KATE MIDDLETON
If I were offering hip replacement services I'd use Jarod Kintz as my spokesman. No one can possibly...
WILL ADVISE
He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, ...
W. H. AUDEN
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, ...
W.H. AUDEN
I am very organic; I eat a lot of seeds. At home in the morning, I eat muesli with a banana. At noon...
CLOTILDE HESME
When I'm not working, I definitely I like waking up at noon.
JENA MALONE
Tea was good. Tea was possibly the safest drink in the entire Empire. It defied anything untoward.
KATE HARPER
I am Midnight
(cats stare dumbfounded)
ERIN HUNTER
I'm glad I am a woman who once danced naked in the Mediterranean Sea at midnight.
MERCEDES MCCAMBRIDGE
I love the idea of the street vibe, having folks together, out in the street at midnight.
SEAN PAUL
I really love being busy because I am - feel like I am at my best when I am busy.
AISHA TYLER
I love acting. It's what I do, not what I am.
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My heart is burning a hole in my chest and every time you speak to me, it keeps sinking, and I'm lef...
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Love is like the sunrise; hope appeared at the same time on two faces and in two souls connected by ...
MARIANA FULGER
I really love pizza after midnight.
ERIC CHURCH
I'll tell you, when it rains, it scares me, ... I wonder, am I going to get a call at midnight?
BONNIE MATHIS
Belgium is modernizing itself and it gives me joy.
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Role models can inspire. Campaigns can motivate. But if we want all girls everywhere to rise up, the...
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When you deprive people of their right to live in dignity, to hope for a better future, to have cont...
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We're busily wrecking the chances for future generations at a rapid rate of knots by not recogni...
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There are no 'political prisoners' as such in Bahrain. People are not arrested because they ...
HAMAD BIN ISA AL KHALIFA
My children are not royal; they just happen to have the Queen for their aunt.
PRINCESS MARGARET
God grant you all your desires and accept my own hearty thanks for all your attention to me. Althoug...
JANE GREY
No harm will come to me. The Assembly is prepared to treat us leniently.
MARIE ANTOINETTE
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I’ll repeat phrases over and over in a spiral and use the shape to design a building. Would you re...
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Sleep is the breakfast of champions. This morning I had two big bowls full, each two hours deep.
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Should I go up one flight of stairs and then come back down, or should I go down one flight of stair...
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When I say something, I mean what I say, despite what a dictionary says I mean. Meanings of words ar...
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I wouldn’t advise making a four-year commitment to eventually land an $8.00/hour job. Skip college...
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I think Gummy Bears should be the universal symbol for peace, because peace leads to prosperity, pro...
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Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world.
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I dance like I have a chip on my shoulder. I dance salsa.
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I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cookin...
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I wrote a thesis on love, and I wrote it in lipstick. Of course, I also got blood on the paper, beca...
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She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. ...
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I’m going outside to get a breath of fresh air. Anybody got a cigarette I can have?
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With my last breath, I’ll exhale my love for you. I hope it’s a cold day, so you can see what yo...
JAROD KINTZ
Reading—it’s the third best thing to do in bed.
JAROD KINTZ
I had a dream about you. We were at a buffet, but instead of eating food, we were forced to eat our ...
JAROD KINTZ
Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live by.
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A traditional doctor gets paid to push pills, vaccinate, radiate, and basically exterminate people. ...
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Too little light and man can’t see, just as too much light and man is blinded. Love is a light, an...
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It’s what you do in your free time that will set you free—or enslave you.
JAROD KINTZ
College has given me the confidence I need to fail.

JAROD KINTZ
I cut an inch off of every straw I see, just to make the world suck a little less.

JAROD KINTZ
It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.
JAROD KINTZ
I want to grow a flower for every time someone tells me “F*** you.” Then I’ll go back to that ...
JAROD KINTZ
Leave me with my leftover meatloaf and my Yesterday Sandwich. I’ll be in love tomorrow, if you com...
JAROD KINTZ
I loved her like elephants like remembering stuff. Those bastards just won’t let me forget and mov...
JAROD KINTZ
Love is like breakfast with Mildred. Who’s Mildred? How the heck should I know? I don’t eat brea...
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Insider trading is a serious crime. Do you know what the penalty for doing it is? Nothing, if you’...
JAROD KINTZ
The best part about having children is being able to point at them and proudly proclaim, "Hey, I mad...
JAROD KINTZ
The mouth is made for communication,and nothing is more articulate than a kiss
JAROD KINTZ
I want to write an unreliable narrator. In fact, he’ll be so unreliable that I’m not even sure h...
JAROD KINTZ
A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid.
JAROD KINTZ
I had a dream about you. We were in a band. I was the lead singer, guitar player, saxophonist, harpi...
JAROD KINTZ
If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where...
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Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well ...
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Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, ...
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If there are two men, Rod and Rob, and you can only steal from one, which one would you choose? The ...
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She said she was a nurse. I replied that she must have a lot of patience—and patients. I would hav...
JAROD KINTZ
A fly can fly, so man should be called walk. If you want to make love, I’ll bring the wheelchair, ...
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Though it comes from her throat, I drink the sound of her voice. Her I love yous dehydrate me, becau...
JAROD KINTZ
I thirst for love like a camel thirsts for water. I’m going through a desert right now, but I’m ...
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I cry, but not for myself. There’s too much sadness in this world to waste a moment with self-pity...
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I watch you like a mirror, because I see in you what I see in myself. Who we love is a reflection of...
JAROD KINTZ
When I hear someone’s sick, my first thought is selfishly, Better him than me. My second thought i...
JAROD KINTZ
Pick a number between one to ten. Now, pick the number that you think I picked you to pick.

JAROD KINTZ
If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now." But you'd also have to r...
JAROD KINTZ
Goodbyes, they often come in waves.
JAROD KINTZ
If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave.
JAROD KINTZ
One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate people.
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Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with ...
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I’m not a very good sleeper. But you know what? I’m willing to put in a few extra hours every da...
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To Do Today, 1/17/08
1. Sit and think
2. Reach enlightenment
3. Feed the cats
JAROD KINTZ
I don’t know what’s in the box, but I love it. Unopened gifts contain hope.

JAROD KINTZ
I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.
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She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to th...
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I had a dream about you. We were fishing in the Utah desert. You caught a dinosaur, but due to Feder...
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Laughter is the sound of the soul dancing. My soul probably looks like Fred Astaire.
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Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, b...
JAROD KINTZ
What do you mean love is not for sale? Then what the hell did I just buy? And why is it grandma-shap...
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When traveling on foot through the Sahara Desert, be sure to pack several gallons of ice cream, and ...
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I work in a secret whisper factory. It’s all very hush-hush. Her love for me could be found there,...
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This year I vow to learn how to garden. I will be the Farmer of Love and grow in understanding and f...
JAROD KINTZ
In today's classroom everybody wins a trophy, even the one kid who actually won. Soon it will be, le...
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She bats her eyelashes like I’m throwing baseballs at them. I must be as romantic as Pete Rose’s...
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People won't buy study guides for a dollar, but they will pay 100 dollars for test answers. A ‪#st...
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My ticket's been bought, and my luggage is packed. I'm storing both of my bags under my eyes. Or am ...
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Even though it’s locked in a cage, my heart is a bird that flutters at the sound of her voice, as ...
JAROD KINTZ
I would rather make love than war, but only because condoms kill millions of lives more enjoyably.
JAROD KINTZ
I’m willing to die for the woman I love. I just want to take 75 years to do it.
JAROD KINTZ
Drinking coffee is like drinking an inverse yawn. I prefer mine with two spoonfuls of “I’m liste...
JAROD KINTZ
The Chair


I’m writing to you, who made the archaic wooden chair
look like a ...
JAROD KINTZ
If I were to come back in another life, I’d like to be reincarnated as my own clone.
JAROD KINTZ
If coffee meant vagina, I’d ask you if you wanted cream in your coffee. But it doesn’t mean that...
JAROD KINTZ
My next breath may very well be in your lungs. Store it wisely, because my life depends on it.

JAROD KINTZ
When faced with two equally tough choices, most people choose the third choice: to not choose.
JAROD KINTZ
Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers.
JAROD KINTZ
You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.
JAROD KINTZ
Love may make you feel blue, love may make you feel green, and sometimes love may even make you feel...
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Roses may say “I love you,” but the cactus says “Fuck off.
JAROD KINTZ
Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay ne...
JAROD KINTZ
I think the key indicator for wealth is not good grades, work ethic, or IQ. I believe it's relations...
JAROD KINTZ
I’ll give you 50% off for half a year, or 100% off for a whole year. At these bargain discount pri...
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I predict that love will burst forth on the Fourth of July. That’s tomorrow, so I’d better prepa...
JAROD KINTZ
I will paint a classic car yellow and convert it into a bulldozer. If you need me, I’ll be in the ...
JAROD KINTZ
Everyone is different from each other, but that doesn’t mean everyone should be indifferent to eac...
JAROD KINTZ
We must make love to find out how it’s made. I don’t know what the ingredients are, but I think ...
JAROD KINTZ
I like eye contact, but please don’t blink when my eyeballs are touching yours.
JAROD KINTZ
Just because I liked something at one point in time doesn’t mean I’ll always like it, or that I ...
JAROD KINTZ
When you're here, I'm there for you. And when you're there, I'm here for you.
JAROD KINTZ
Can you break my five-dollar bill into five singles? Women love guys with lots of money.
JAROD KINTZ
Wisdom equals knowledge plus courage. You have to not only know what to do and when to do it, but yo...
JAROD KINTZ
Here's a haiku/palindrome I wrote called, "Obsession."

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob,
Bob,...
JAROD KINTZ
My life motto: My brakes are broke, but luckily my gas pedal works just fine.

JAROD KINTZ
I am the archaeologist of love. I’m digging for the bones of a loved one I shot and buried decades...
JAROD KINTZ
Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while “decorating” my...
JAROD KINTZ
I make love like an albino sings—softly, and from sunset to sunrise (except in Alaska).
JAROD KINTZ
I have a stalker, a beautiful one: the sunset. Every day she’s there, watching me, whether I watch...
JAROD KINTZ
The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car....
JAROD KINTZ
One of the most productive ways a government can spend money on the people is by building more priso...
JAROD KINTZ
I can bench press steam, but not fog. I just have to wait until the fog lifts itself.

JAROD KINTZ
The year you were born marks only your entry into the world. Other years where you prove your worth,...
JAROD KINTZ
Sometimes the thing that brings us together also pulls us apart. Sort of like a zipper.
JAROD KINTZ
I run like I have cirrus clouds for legs and rainbow knees. What is life, if not a marathon of love?...
JAROD KINTZ
I coiled my empty straw wrapper around like a snake. Then I bit it before it could bite me. My love ...
JAROD KINTZ
Love is a circular emotion that surrounds you, like a hug. Or a noose.
JAROD KINTZ
If I were a Wild West cowboy, I wouldn’t ride a horse—I’d ride a wheelchair. More romantic.
JAROD KINTZ
Can America get back to a point where politicians are honest? Not unless that point is the tip of a ...
JAROD KINTZ
I have a beard of fog that I wear on misty mornings. It’s not cigarette smoke, but I’d understan...
JAROD KINTZ
I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair t...
JAROD KINTZ
One game in this region could be the matter of going to the state tournament or sitting home and wat...
JAROD INGERSOLL
When we come to play with enthusiasm, and we're all together, we're a pretty good team.
JAROD INGERSOLL
He's (Smith) a good pitcher. We know he's one of the top three pitchers in the state. We know he's a...
JAROD INGERSOLL
In some cases this person will be on-site, but in many cases they won't.
JAROD TUFTS
He's a great hitter, and he's got that kind of pop in his bat.
JAROD INGERSOLL
Whenever he's had proper rest, he just flat out pitches for us. He was hitting his spots, and he mix...
JAROD INGERSOLL
He's been solid all year for us in middle relief, and he came in and got the job done again today.
JAROD INGERSOLL
This is my favorite tournament I've been to since I've been coaching here (American Fork). I love Br...
JAROD INGERSOLL
The facilities departments will have command centers set up at both the North and South sites. It wi...
JAROD TUFTS
For the administrators who dial in from California, yeah, I'm concerned, but in many cases I didn't ...
JAROD TUFTS
He's been the catalyst for our team all season.
JAROD INGERSOLL
We're not complacent, but we have an extreme sense of confidence in our status for the transition. W...
JAROD TUFTS
It was impressive that their team had all the momentum and we kept our composure and executed our of...
VIC KINTZ
The baseball here is just a lot of fun right now. The kids all love baseball. They love to play it a...
JAROD INGERSOLL
Without proper communication, people will wonder why they're left in the dark, and assume the worst.
JAROD TUFTS