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I don't know if you know you're funny, but you enjoy being funny. I know I'm funny because people tell me I am, but when I watch myself, it doesn't make me laugh. Does that make sense? Because I know the jokes, and to me, I feel like I'm pulling the wool over people's eyes. And there are probably people who do not enjoy what I do.


Greg Behrendt

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What the FAA says is that within a 500-foot radius of that wind sensor, the maximum object height ha...
GREG PERRY
The government of Canada is committed to ensuring that the country does not become a safe haven for ...
GREG SCOTT
(Training) doesn't get easier; you just get faster
GREG LEMOND
Basketball has always been my first love. Second, I want to be the point guard at Duke. I don't want...
GREG PAULUS
Well, it's really important. We wanted to win here tonight, but Kyle got a great restart there. Cong...
GREG BIFFLE
Kyle got a great restart, ... Great job by those guys tonight. They deserve it.
GREG BIFFLE
Great pressure turns coal into diamond... Or crushes it into a powder to be blown away in the wind.
GREG HAPPEL
That's been our motto all year - every game come out and have our efforts exceed our abilities, and ...
GREG DICKINSON
To truly sing the blues, you have to go through pain and tragedy. To do parody, you need to work in ...
GREG HAPPEL
I usually try to quote myself, but my editor ends up correcting my punctuation.
GREG GAZIN
Double or nothing down the last hole?
GREG NORMAN
After being so frustrated by the 'ETC,' the idea of putting something together quickly, without a lo...
GREG HARRISON
Obviously, we have an obligation to the students to have a positive school environment. You do that ...
GREG KELLY
I vowed that when the coaches came to our house to recruit Bryan that I was not going to be one of t...
GREG MATTISON
It's really nice to see Gov. Taft recognize that, ... It's always a pleasure to showcase what's goin...
GREG MYERS
On a given day, Tracie's activities could include processing client trade transactions, providing cl...
GREG MYERS
We played just hard enough to win and just careless enough to lose.
GREG ELLIOTT
As far as I'm concerned, I've had my chances and I still have a chance, too, ... I mean you got to p...
GREG MADDUX
He's a good keeper, and I think we got lucky.
GREG THOMPSON
The private lobbyist comes in with information he says he has, but doesn't show and they change publ...
GREG PERRY
He came very close to playing for Notre Dame. We offered him (a scholarship), we wanted him, but I j...
GREG MATTISON
I'll tell you what. I keep mentioning Bruce Williams. This guy's like clockwork. He's really making ...
GREG ROBINSON
We are seeing more juveniles involved in more violent crimes, ... I think that's a trend nationwide.
GREG THOMPSON
There's a sense we as humans have kind of peaked. A different way to look at is it's almost impossib...
GREG WRAY
I just think this house is gorgeous.
GREG SEKULA
Downtown Indy is going to be bustling with Hoosiers and visitors, and we're ready for it.
GREG HALLER
Everything human beings can imagine has been thrown at injustice, and injustice just absorbs it, and...
GREG BAXTER
Ultimately what these companies need to do, whether combined or alone, is fend off creeping market s...
GREG TAXIN
I'm really pleased, it was difficult conditions so to win in straight sets is always nice
GREG RUSEDSKI
I like job security,
GREG BIFFLE
That's huge, not only so much monetary-wise. In the breeding shed, that makes tons of difference. .....
GREG GILCHRIST
I love liminal characters. I love these characters that are outside and enter and consequently are p...
GREG RUCKA
I don't save people. God saves people. I can point them in the right direction. I can say, '...
GREG BOYLE
We need a strong run to rebuild the momentum we have lost in the last few weeks, ... A win this week...
GREG BIFFLE
No matter what the subject, we should all be willing to discuss it openly and publicly. Only ignoran...
GREG JOHNSON
Well, unless you're Wayne Gretzky or Michael Jordan, you need the full support of your team.
GREG LOUGANIS
Many elected officials serve for so long they become spokesmen for government, rather than those who...
GREG WALKER
There are no retrospective penalties in the game's regulations.
GREG THOMAS
The Coliseum is getting used an awful lot. Our usage, to be honest, I don't know how much more we ca...
GREG SIMMONS
Kathy pushed out, but there was no interference and in the end it was a just result.
GREG RUDOLPH
Our show was this little pirate ship that somehow managed to slip into the Broadway harbor, so to sp...
GREG KOTIS
Osama, baah!" Bashir roared.

"Osama is not a product of Pakistan or Afghanistan. He is a ...
GREG MORTENSON
ROBERT ROTH: Going against the tide, no matter how gracefully, will beat you up after a while — al...
GREG PRATO
I don't see the point in marriage: if you make a commitment, you make a commitment. Fidelity is ...
GREG WISE
According to Colombia's respected Escuela Nacional Sindical, as of April 2015, 105 union activis...
GREG GRANDIN
Haiti and the Dominican Republic don't just share an island, Hispaniola, but a history, one that...
GREG GRANDIN
In the 1960s, as a rising defense intellectual, Kissinger was a Nelson Rockefeller man, firmly entre...
GREG GRANDIN
In our minds it is not a matter of the sky is falling -- it's a matter of reaching that equilibrium ...
GREG PAQUIN
A man without money has a hole in his pocket. A man with holes in his pocket has no money
GREG GAZIN