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I don't necessarily consider myself a virgin, probably because I have such a penetrating personality


Chris Colfer

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We scarified a mosquito. I bet that's what did it. It was probably a virgin too.
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I still consider myself a feminist.
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I do not consider a liberal necessarily to be a leftist.
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~ Aarush ...
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Are you saying that you people knew about these amorophobots all the time?"
"Of course we did. ...
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Orion brightened. "I have an idea."

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Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?"
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Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.
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Friendship isn't a science mudboy. Just do what you think is right.
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Artemis simple-toon
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A fifeteen-year old, of to save the world, with faries. - Angeline Fowl
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I'm the nut!
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Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss.
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Hey, look—your girlfriend is saying something."
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If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.
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Anybody see you come in here?"
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EOIN COLFER
But even though there were plenty of teeth in the grin, there was no heart.
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Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.
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I don't like lollipops.
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Opal tapped t...
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The only lesson I really wanted to get across,
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Play along, the wink said. I'll get you out of this.

At least Artemis hoped this was what...
EOIN COLFER
This might hurt a little is universal code for this will definitely hurt a lot
EOIN COLFER
Oh, I'm crazy all right. I do have plenty of psychoses. Multiple personality, delusional dementia, O...
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Can we please focus? We are supposed to be professionals." Holly said.

"Not me!" said Ori...
EOIN COLFER
Some people just needed to be stolen from.
EOIN COLFER
...I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile."
"...Where's all the loot...
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Time to do what he did best - plot dastardly acts.
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Artemis remembered a few lines from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland: “But I don’t want to go ...
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It looks like you've found an intellectual equal, Mulch," said Holly. "It's a pity he isn't a girl; ...
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Remember the pain?' thought Artemis. I hate myself. I really do.
EOIN COLFER
Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test q...
EOIN COLFER
I often meet frustrated young writers who say they've only got so far and just can't finish ...
EOIN COLFER
I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?
EOIN COLFER
Why no aggressive action?" Foaly squirmed in a harness built for two-legged creatures. "Oh yes, why ...
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I know what dissipate means, Arty. I'm not three, for heaven's sake.
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My bugs don't have bugs.
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I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shri...
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Trust me. I'm a genius.
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Meg and Belch only had eyes for each other. Not in the usual romantic sense.
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So, Mr. Digence, home to visit the family?"

"That's right. My mother's folks are from Kil...
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Together we will be unstoppable.
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Waitress: "And to drink?"
Artemis: "Spring water. Irish, if you have it. And no ice, please. As...
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You guys looking for my dad? People are always, like, looking for him, and he's never around. Daddy ...
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There's nothing more dangerous than a short guy with something to prove.
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When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?
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Artemis: Holly, how did you find me?

Holly: Oh, I saw a huge explosion and wondered: now,...
EOIN COLFER
I can invent my own creatures and give them their own powers
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You still awake?' asked the anesthetist.
'Nope,' I replied.
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The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese.
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Oh,It's going to be so easy to kill you",scoffed Opal.
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Maybe I owe you something too, human," she said, drawing her pistol. Butler almost reacted, but deci...
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I am not exuding anything," said Holly through gritted teeth.

Orion tapped her shoulder. ...
EOIN COLFER
Earth,” he began, ignoring the impulse to open his notes folder and count the words. He knew this ...
EOIN COLFER
Butler snapped his fingers. "Focus, Artemis! Time enough for your Atlantis Complex later. We have th...
EOIN COLFER
Artemis: I am not buoyed by that.
Foaly: You are not supposed to be buoyed by that. You are sup...
EOIN COLFER
Quickly, Holly," said Artemis urgently. "Follow those bubbles."

Holly opened the throttle...
EOIN COLFER
Artemis and Holly stood together in their underwear, gingerly locking fingers. They had crossed spac...
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Genius inspires resentment. A sad fact of life.
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I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.
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Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.
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Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, toleran...
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That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy."
Pex was unrepentant. "Yeah, well, he asked ...
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Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the f...
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Holly clambered after him, struggling up the human-size steps.
"Wait! Just wait," she called, ...
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If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose then I'm mad. That's the way history is written
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Certainly, Doctor. Let's talk about your chair. Victorian?
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Butler shot one of the half dozen diners a fierce glare, just in case she might be planning somethin...
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(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)
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The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.
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code red thing.’ Holly
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Holly
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I can invent my own creatures and give them their own powers. It was great fun.
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[When it comes to writing, Colfer admits to being a bit of a perfectionist. Over time, he's learned ...
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[Right now, on tour, Colfer is missing his wife and two kids but says it would be churlish not to ap...
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Her glare was so intense that you completely forgot she was wearing pink.
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Why can't we for once have a meeting in Starbucks?
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The next minute or so was spent howling on the ceiling . Imp No.1 joined in, but he wasn't really fe...
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Vinyaya was being openly antagonistic, and that was an emotion that could be trusted, unless of cour...
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Mulch's tongue lolled out, resting on the centaur's neck. "Mmm," he mumbled around his tongue. "Hors...
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Is that how you're going to take me? Scare me into voluntarily coming aboard, then steal my Ice Cube...
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