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I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at the old Grange, if he found that not only was Sherlock Holmes putting in the weekend there, but Hercule Poirot, as well." ~ Bertram "Bertie" Wooster


P.G. Wodehouse

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I read my first P.G. Wodehouse when I was 12.
MALLORY ORTBERG
There would be no Sherlock Holmes if it were not for serial publication.
MARGARET ATWOOD
There are more important things than finding the murderer. And justice is a fine word, but it is som...
AGATHA CHRISTIE
I always had a soft spot for Sherlock Holmes and used to imagine helping him out.
CATHERINE JINKS
Rest assured," said Hercule Poirot. "I am the best!
AGATHA CHRISTIE
Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were ...
UNKNOWN
I loved Sherlock Holmes when I was younger. So you can imagine how excited I was to discover that Co...
ALEXEI SMERTIN
Use your little grey cells mon ami"
(Hercule Poirot in 'The Mysterious Affair At Styles')
- AGATHA CHRISTIE
My remarks are, as always, apt, sound, and to the point. (Hercule Poirot)
AGATHA CHRISTIE
Everyone likes talking about himself. - Hercule Poirot
AGATHA CHRISTIE
Isn't it lovely to know that even the great Sherlock Holmes, the quirky and genius Sherlock Holm...
NATALIE DORMER
The first thing that put me on the map was my Sherlock Holmes novel.
NICHOLAS MEYER
And then I thought that I had to be like Sherlock Holmes and I had to detach my mind at will to a re...
MARK HADDON
Out there, there is some kinda genius person... I am talking about Sherlock Holmes... First very fas...
DEYTH BANGER
There was a 16-year-old arrested which was really unfortunate, but it was not what we expected for a...
CAPT. ALLAN ELKINS
You want beauty,” said Hercule Poirot. “Beauty at any price. For me, it is truth I want. Always ...
AGATHA CHRISTIE
Every Sherlock Holmes story has at least one marvelous scene.
REX STOUT
I abhour the dull routine of existence" - Sherlock Holmes
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
I would not be happy unless I had some regular work to do every day and I imagine that I will always...
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
Hercule Poirot addressed himself to the task of keeping his moustaches out of the soup.
AGATHA CHRISTIE
Ah, but life is like that! It does not permit you to arrange and order it as you will. It will not p...
AGATHA CHRISTIE
By growth I mean growth in how we're going to guard. Growth in how our players handle themselves on ...
BILL CARTWRIGHT
Her cuisine is limited but she has as good an idea of breakfast as a Scotchwoman."

[Sh...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
Sure, some find gunning down unsuspecting, innocent animals to be a real hoot. I mean, for Christ sa...
CHASE BROOKS
It wasn't just that Hilliard was throwing hard, he was putting everything at the knees. If he stays ...
DALE BARNES
The past and the present are within my field of inquiry, but what a man may do in the future is a ha...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
A certain critic -- for such men, I regret to say, do exist -- made the nasty remark about my last n...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I am inclined to think--” said I. “I should do so,” Sherlock Holmes remarked impatiently. I be...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
I loved Sherlock Holmes as a kid, but I remember being disappointed when he'd come up with these...
PETER WEIR
I had always been a huge Sherlock Holmes fan.
DAVID GRANN
Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
My mother didn't let me see color films. I saw a lot of black-and-white films. The first time I ...
LIEV SCHREIBER
I did read Sherlock Holmes as a boy but I never thought for a moment that I'd ever write about Doyle...
JULIAN BARNES
I have been very interested in the number of kids who have read the Sherlock Holmes books after read...
LAURIE R. KING
It is as impossible for man to demonstrate the existence of God as it would be for even Sherlock Hol...
FREDERICK BUECHNER
I was fifteen when I first met Sherlock Holmes, fifteen years old with my nose in a book as I walked...
LAURIE R. KING
Mum worked as a secretary for Orson Welles for what sounded like a very miserable year. Her brother ...
MARTIN CLUNES
Tell your master that if there were as many devils at Worms as tiles on its roofs, I would enter.
HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW
My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people do not know.
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe there really is some goodness here in our world. But if goodness existed, t...
ERICA SEHYUN SONG
I am lost without my Boswell.

[Sherlock Holmes on Dr. Watson.]
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
He's bound to have done something,” Nobby repeated.

In this he was echoing the P...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's quite exciting," said Sherlock Holmes, with a yawn.
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
What I feel is that if one has got to have a murder actually happening in one's house, one might as ...
AGATHA CHRISTIE
I loved Enso Roshi’s teachings. I loved learning about life. I loved life. It was a good thing to ...
T. SCOTT MCLEOD
Naturally, since I myself am a writer, I do not wish the ordinary reader to read no modern books. Bu...
C.S. LEWIS
I want to be this generation's Sherlock Holmes. That is, the man to solve first world problems.
J.R. RIM
Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it.
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
...Recognising, as I do, that you are the second highest expert in Europe--"
"Indeed, sir! May ...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
I think it's very unfortunate that [he] is trying to shift some blame for his own criminal conduct.
DONALD WATKINS
I must thank you,' said Sherlock Holmes, 'for calling my attention to a case which certainly present...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
I grew up in Des Moines. My dad had a house full of books, things like P.G. Wodehouse books and '...
BILL BRYSON
If people ask, 'Are you Sherlock Holmes?', it's horribly naff, but I say, 'I'm n...
BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH
I don't think I look at myself as all-around because we go as a team. If I had to pick out a point, ...
ERIN DETHLOFF
But I don't doubt it will be essentially the same type of crime. The details may be different, but t...
AGATHA CHRISTIE
Personally, I would like to see a department store. Nordstrom would be fabulous. I think there is so...
ELIZABETH MORENO
There was some talk of him coming back this year, but he decided to stay down there because some col...
JASON ROBINSON
Today's payslip has more deductions than a Sherlock Holmes novel.
RAYMOND CVIKOTA
It is all in the way of professional experience.
- Sherlock Holmes
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
There was only one thing about his own appearance which really pleased Hercule Poirot, and that was ...
AGATHA CHRISTIE
Whenever I go to England, I'm on pilgrimage. I walk the countryside around Eastbourne because th...
LAURIE R. KING
Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not d...
CHARLES DICKENS
He's playing very well. If he works on his putting, he could catch fire at the end of the year, and ...
BUDDY ALEXANDER
No ghosts need apply.

- Sherlock Holmes: The Adventure of the Sussex Vampire
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
I have so many strong opinions on the entertainment industry, but if I'm in a deli somewhere, an...
ANDY KINDLER
How the hell do you think I feel?" I don't want to end up inside a woman!" He paused. "Well, at leas...
KAREN CHANCE
With the rule as it is at the moment he is unsignable, which seems a little harsh on him because I w...
DARIO GRADI
I prefer recording drums in the analog format, but that does not mean I would only do it that way.
RANDY CASTILLO
When Dr. Mortimer had finished reading this singular narrative he pushed his spectacles up on his fo...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
[But] he could never take an audience seriously. If he took their advice, what they liked, that woul...
BARRY MILES
The opportunity I had at Sandwich would have changed my life if I'd played well enough. It was an un...
MARK ROE
The Master said of Gong Yechang, “He is marriageable. Although he was once imprisoned and branded ...
CONFUCIUS
I used to think I was the strangest person in the world. But then I thought, there are so many peopl...
FRIDA KAHLO
I'd say he's well on his way to coming back in September and helping us. It all depends on how he fe...
GARY GAETTI
I am all that there is of the most real.
AGATHA CHRISTIE
As Sherlock Holmes would say, this is a one-pipe mystery. In the time it would take to smoke one pip...
GRIGORI CHKHARTISHVILI
I'm not saying he's Priest Holmes. But I'm sure he had some of that in the back of his mind, too. Th...
FRAN FOLEY
I was hoping he wasn't in there, but he was they found him on the couch.
CLIFF LANDRY
If he had it at all, it was at the highest point. But as we were coming back to the ground, I had it...
MARCUS HAMILTON
His name," said the cabman, "was Mr. Sherlock Holmes."
Never have I seen my friend more complet...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
We found letters at the house we bought from a sailor to his wife who lived in the house. He went do...
MICHAEL WINTER
What we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do. There are people we trust b...
STEPHEN R. COVEY
The cherry tree myth is just that. When I do lectures I bring an old hatchet and say we just found t...
DEAN NORTON
You have heard me speak of Professor Moriarty?” “The famous scientific criminal, as famous among...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
Dying in our sleep won’t solve anything in the long run, even if a nihilist would argue it’s com...
ANN AGUIRRE
I care," he said in a trembling voice. "I care so much that I do not know how to tell you without it...
AIMEE CARTER
My brain has always governed my heart" Sherlock Holmes
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
You say that your fare told you that he was a detective?"
"Yes, he did."
"When did he say ...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
Education never ends, Watson. It is a series of lessons, with the greatest for the last.
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
Come, Watson, come!" he cried. The game is afoot.
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
I have taken to living by my wits.
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
There's something very strange about Sherlock Holmes, especially if you're an English school...
ANTHONY HOROWITZ
Trains are relentless things, aren't they, Monsieur Poirot? People are murdered and die, but they go...
AGATHA CHRISTIE
I do feel for him. It's an unfortunate time for him to go down, but if he has to, better to do it no...
TROY MURPHY
To me, that would almost be like Bud Adams owning the Chiefs, you know what I mean? I imagine them p...
BRAD HOPKINS
I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than ret...
EMO PHILIPS
The only time that I really go on Twitter is to promote, because what sucks is there's some weir...
MICHAEL PENA
He would always tell us to never let our guard down. At times, we would tell him, 'You're so uptight...
KATE ACHTER
does not mean he has to accept criminal liability for what happened on the vessel.
CHARLES GITTINS
Only that I insist upon your dining with us. It will be ready in half an hour. I have oysters and a ...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE

More P.G. Wodehouse

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-p...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it aft...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
"The mood will pass, s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
What ho!" I said.
"What ho!" said Motty.
"What ho! What ho!"
"What ho! What ho! What ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
If this is Upper Silesia, what on earth must Lower Silesia be like?
P.G. WODEHOUSE
She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?'
There is no time, sir, at which ties do no...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The coops were finished. They were not masterpieces, and I have seen chickens pause before them in d...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I went into the kitchen ten minutes back. The cat was sitting on the mat."

Beale's narra...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Squiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had cr...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasant...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He was a Frenchman, a melancholy-looking man. His aspect was that of one who has been looking for th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular mess...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It seems to be one of Nature’s laws that the most attractive girls should have the least attractiv...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to reme...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literatu...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There is nothing an author today has to guard himself more carefully against than the Saga Habit. Th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Morning, Bill,' said Lord Tidmouth agreeably.

'Go to hell!' said Bill.

'Right-...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The ideal adventurer needs... the quality of not being content to mind his own affairs...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He's such a dear, Mr. Garnet. A beautiful, pure, bred Persian. He has taken prizes."
"He's alwa...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when".
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don’t remember what I did before that. Just loafed...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
...there was practically one handwriting common to the whole school when it came to writing lines. I...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He was one of those earnest, persevering dancers--the kind that have taken twelve correspondence les...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
All nice girls sketch a little.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Have you ever seen a man, woman, or child who wasn’t eating an egg or just going to eat an egg or ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I was in that painful condition which occurs when one has lost one's first wind and has not yet got ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
No sir," said Mr Molloy. "I'm mighty sorry I can't meet you in any way, but the fact is I'm all fixe...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to b...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what ha...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
...and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's alwa...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mi...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help b...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Employers are like horses — they require management.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hou...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The principle I always go on in writing a novel is to think of the characters in terms of actors in ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?
P.G. WODEHOUSE
At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
At a time when she was engaged to Stilton Cheesewright, I remember recording in the archives that sh...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb tr...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
A certain critic -- for such men, I regret to say, do exist -- made the nasty remark about my last n...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
[A]lways get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothin...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Man's inability to get out of bed in the morning is a curious thing. One may reason with oneself cle...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fatt...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
If he had a mind, there was something on it.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a nor...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap re...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Mike’s statement that he wanted to get up early and have a ride had been received by Psmith, with ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
How long Archibald slept he could not have said. He woke some hours later with a vague feeling that ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
No fair-minded girl objects to a certain tinge of jealousy. Kept within proper bounds, it is a compl...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
But when I say 'cow', don’t go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was a morning when all nature shouted "Fore!" The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
One of the Georges - I forget which - once said that a certain number of hours' sleep each night - I...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Conversationally, I am like a clockwork toy. I have to be set going.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There are situations in life which are beyond one. The sensible man realizes this, and slides out of...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I said, 'Don't talk rot, Old Tom Travers."
"I am not accustomed to talk rot," he said.
"Th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Half a league
Half a league
Half a league onward
With a hey-nonny-nonny
And a ho...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing f...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was a morning when all nature shouted "Fore!" The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, s...
P.G. WODHOUSE
A little bit added to what you've already got gives you a little bit more.
P.G. WODENHOUSE
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first,...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Success comes to a writer, as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
He virtually lives on fish
P. G. WODEHOUSE
The lunches of fifty-seven years had caused his chest to slip down to the mezzanine floor.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress rou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriora...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."
P. G. WODEHOUSE
New York is a small place when it comes to the part of it that wakes up just as the rest is going to...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in s...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, b...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to l...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Flowers are happy things.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
If I had had to choose between him and a cockroach as a companion for a walking-tour, the cockroach ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
The cup of tea on arrival at a country house is a thing which, as a rule, I particularly enjoy. I li...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
I always advise people never to give advice.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Flowers are happy things.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Golf...is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge th...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
My only objection to the custom of giving books as Christmas presents is perhaps the selfish one tha...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is f...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
It is good rule in life to never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and t...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE