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Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.


George Burns

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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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I think I look about 40 to 45, so I like it.
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I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
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You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.
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Fortunately,
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting h...
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No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
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If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better...
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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Sincerity - if you can fake that, you've got it made.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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I like women to be attracted to me. See, when you get 60 years old, and they know you're 60, the onl...
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, y...
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I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
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I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.
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I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
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The reason we're doing this now is because I'm booked to play Pasadena the week of my 100th birthday
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Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope
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People are always asking me when I’m going to retire. Why should I? I’ve got it two ways - I’m...
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as cl...
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Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, It makes you lean....Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.
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GEORGE F. BURNS
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE F. BURNS
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on ...
GEORGE F. BURNS
This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
GEORGE F. BURNS
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE F. BURNS
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a patern...
GEORGE F. BURNS
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE F. BURNS
Life's but a day at most.
GEORGE F. BURNS
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do w...
GEORGE F. BURNS
Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
GEORGE F. BURNS
Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
GEORGE F. BURNS
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
GEORGE F. BURNS
I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE F. BURNS
I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
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It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex ...
GEORGE F. BURNS
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm ...
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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Duncan Gray cam here to woo, Ha, ha, the wooing o't! On blithe Yuletide when we were fou, ...
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I mean, that's another big surprise of the show, is that I see sixteen year old people who recog...
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My mother raised us to think that if we worked hard, and if we put our end of the bargain in, it wou...
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I foresee that poverty and obscurity probably await me, and I am in some measure prepared and daily ...
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Suspicion is a heavy armor and with its weight it impedes more than it protects.
ROBERT BURNS
Affliction's sons are brothers in distress; A brother to relieve, how exquisite the bliss!
ROBERT BURNS
O, wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us!
It wad frae monie a b...
ROBERT BURNS
Suspense is worst than disappointment.
ROBERT BURNS
Learn taciturnity and let that be your motto!
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The heart and benevolent and kind the most resembles God.
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Firmness in enduring and exertion is a character I always wish to possess. I have always despised th...
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The daisy's for simplicity and unaffected air.
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Good history is a question of survival. Without any past, we will deprive ourselves of the defining ...
KEN BURNS
The mother may forget the child That smiles sae sweetly on her knee; But I'll remember thee, G...
ROBERT BURNS
The snowdrop and primrose our woodlands adorn, And violets bathe in the wet o' the morn.
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A man's a man for a' that!
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Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings.
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Hear how he clears the points o' Faith Wi' rattling an' thumpin'! Now meekly calm, now wild in...
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Now a' is done that men can do, And a' is done in vain.
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We twa hae run about the braes, And pu'd the gowans fine.
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His ancient, trusty, drouthy crony, Tam lo'ed him like a vera brither-- They had been fou for ...
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That hour o' night's black arch the keystane.
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As Tammie glow'red, amazed and curious, The mirth and fun grew fast and furious.
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Kids are pretty resilient. You don't have to be at every volleyball game. We can't guilt our...
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I'm less concerned about whether being a good corporate citizen burnishes a company's reputa...
URSULA BURNS
I want to stop transforming and just start being.
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Crankiness is a human attribute that, when people walk in the door of Xerox, they remain human. The ...
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I realized I was more convincing to myself and to the people who were listening when I actually said...
URSULA BURNS
Find something that you love to do, and find a place that you really like to do it in. I found somet...
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They're trying to kill me before I'm dead. I come to Quebec to spend some time with my famil...
PAT BURNS
Toronto was a great place to work, a fun place to work. People were so hockey-oriented, hockey-minde...
PAT BURNS
I'm not an overly happy person. There are times when I'm happy, and that's usually in my...
PAT BURNS
I mean the cool thing about the movies is that you get to try on these different personalities and d...
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We had seen the way the print industry had been disrupted; we'd seen how the audio industry got ...
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I love being a single mom. But it's definitely different when you're dating.
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I had my good stuff. I just kept the ball down and felt good out there. Everything was fluid. I was ...
CHAD BURNS
Nae man can tether time or tide.
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I never had posters on my walls, and I didn't have any icons, either. I come from a small villag...
PETE BURNS
My natural color is dark blond, but right now I like being a brunette. I did a movie last summer and...
BROOKE BURNS
Suspense is worst than disappointment
ROBERT BURNS
I think we too often make choices based on the safety of cynicism, and what we're lead to is a life ...
KEN BURNS
It is only fair that we listen to the wide range of views that exist in Edinburgh.
ANDREW BURNS
High oil prices were one factor in dampening the global expansion.
ANDREW BURNS
There is an expectation that oil prices will remain high in the first half and ease in the second ha...
ANDREW BURNS
We welcome people of all faiths and nationalities into our city and this is part of what makes Edinb...
ANDREW BURNS
I've been a swimmer and a diver for quite a while. It was something that I think I got too comfo...
BROOKE BURNS
What stood out more than anything was she worked as hard as she possibly could every possession, eve...
BETH BURNS
Station 4 had a one-minute response, ... That house would not have withstood five minutes of free bu...
BILL BURNS
The bottom line is, don't order over the Internet. Go to your doctor, get a prescription and then ge...
BILL BURNS
For a split-second, I thought we had a miracle shot. It felt good for a second. As a coach, you alwa...
BILLY BURNS
Drew was huge tonight. We basically have the same group that got us this far last year.
BILLY BURNS
We talked for a brief minute (inside a local pool hall), and I asked (Jackson) what had happened. He...
BILLY BURNS
I get them up and do things with water pistols, PVC piles with a hunk of clay or play dough in it to...
BOB BURNS
The system was capable of huge swings. Dividing Sioux Falls into several single-member districts mad...
BOB BURNS
While we haven't received details from the state AG, the notion that former WorldCom executives comm...
BRAD BURNS
I think management has it in its head that it can run the airline themselves.
BRAD BURNS
Today, our brave military men and women, just as those who have gone before them, stand on alert, se...
CONRAD BURNS
The violin came naturally, and it really fit me. When I picked it up (and placed it under the chin),...
MIRIAM BURNS
Flow gently, sweet Afton, among thy green braes; Flow gently, I'll sing thee a song in thy praise
ROBERT BURNS
Our highly qualified teachers not only work hard, but they care about each and every student that en...
CONRAD BURNS
I'm not sure there is a lot of legislation we can pass ... but we can cut through some red tape,
CONRAD BURNS
There are going to be [year 2000-related] disruptions, but not catastrophic outages. But public reac...
JOHN BURNS
She had been suffering increasing amounts of pain.
CHRIS BURNS
I think we too often make choices based on the safety of cynicism, and what we're lead to is a life ...
KEN BURNS
[County Commissioner J. Bracken Burns estimated that the unknown opponent spent $100,000 on a campai...
SHANNON BURNS
We've got some things on the burner. There's definitely more coming for spring and summer.
DAVID BURNS
One thing I find disturbing is as we move further away from specific historical movements, young peo...
CHRIS BURNS
But to see her was to love her, Love but her, and love forever
ROBERT BURNS
Ah, gentle dames! It gars me greet / To think how mony counsels sweet, / How mony lengthen'd sage ad...
ROBERT BURNS
The best plans of men and mice often go awry
ROBERT BURNS
The best laid schemes o' mice and men Gang aft a-gley; And leave us naught but grief and pain For pr...
ROBERT BURNS
The AP's analysis of health risks posed by industrial pollution across the country is a substantial ...
KATHY BURNS
We must not let our guard down and let our enemy know we have an empty holster, so to speak.
CONRAD BURNS
I suffer from Irish-Catholic guilt. Guilt is a good reality check. It keeps that 'do what makes you ...
EDWARD BURNS
Ah, gentle dames! it gars we greet, To think how mony consels sweet, How mony lengthened, sag...
ROBERT BURNS
Inspiring bold John Barleycorn, What dangers thou canst make us scorn! Wi' tippenny, we fear n...
ROBERT BURNS
Whistle, and I'll come to you, my lad.
ROBERT BURNS
Morality, thou deadly bane,Thy tens o' thousands thou has slain!
ROBERT BURNS
Prudent, cautious self-control Is wisdom's root.
ROBERT BURNS
You shouldn't inflict yourself on the public when your fifteen minutes is up.
PETE BURNS
It's not just Keith. It's all of them.
CINDY BURNS
Had we never lov'd sae kindly,
Had we never lov'd sae blindly,
Never met -- or never parte...
ROBERT BURNS
I believe, however, that impending events will call us and we must respond but where, with whom, and...
JOHN BURNS
We are proud to be the No. 1 most funded film on Indiegogo... and with a totally new property. In a ...
BURNIE BURNS