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There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.


Dorothy Parker

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I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
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Life has only one equation. The equation of giving.
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You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suctio...
AND CITY
Why do we always begin to think about people when they die? I think we should think about people whi...
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Desperate Housewives.
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Courtney (Showing Carrie her book cover): Let me talk you through it. Blurred background, aah, fast-...
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It's such a tribute to my show. My show is so good. I feel so blessed to play such a strong characte...
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The Brady Bunch: The Complete Fourth Season
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A stud is born! [Stanford]
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Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely ...
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Acting, First Rule of: Whatever happens, look as if you intended it to happen.
PAUL DICKSON
Acheson's Rule of Bureaucracy: A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the ...
PAUL DICKSON
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.
PAUL DICKSON
About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
PAUL DICKSON
Accuracy, Rule of: When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the ...
PAUL DICKSON
Allen's Law of Civilization: It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be c...
PAUL DICKSON
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
PAUL DICKSON
Albrecht's Law: Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well being.
PAUL DICKSON
Accuracy, Rule of, Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.
PAUL DICKSON
A system tends to grow in complexity instead of simplicity, until the resulting unreliability becom...
PAUL DICKSON
Abbott's Admonitions: (1) If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know. (2) If you don't like ...
PAUL DICKSON
Algren's Precepts: Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never play cards with a man named Doc. And...
PAUL DICKSON
A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
PAUL DICKSON
Advice, First Law of: The correct advice to give is the advice that is desired.
PAUL DICKSON
Agnes Allen's Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
PAUL DICKSON
Rowe's Rule: the odds are five to six that the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of ...
PAUL DICKSON
Airplane Law, The: When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time...
PAUL DICKSON
Abrams's Advice: When eating an elephant, take one bite at a time.
PAUL DICKSON
We have tears in our eyes
As we wave our goodbyes,
We so loved being with you, we three. ROALD DAHL
All real programs contain errors until proved otherwise which is impossible.
PAUL DICKSON
Ade's Law: Anybody can win--unless there happens to be a second entry.
PAUL DICKSON
Acton's Law: Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
PAUL DICKSON
Lieutenant Dunbar wasn't really swallowed. But that was the first word that stuck in his head.
MICHAEL BLAKE
Allen's Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
PAUL DICKSON
A real person has two reasons for doing anything . . . a good reason and the real reason.
PAUL DICKSON
A free agent is anything but.
PAUL DICKSON
Everybody wonders what happens after you die[Carrie] I'm too busy wondering who's dinging my car in...
AND CITY
I don't believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties. [Samanth...
AND CITY
We'll have to find new accommodation tonight,
JILL AND
It couldn't be an all-bad world, could it, not with birds who warble and call? Maybe that was the se...
SHALOM AUSLANDER
Life is in different stages.
Every stage of life is the foundation for the next stage of life....
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA
I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.
AND CITY
Honey, I've decided we're going to Louisiana.
JILL AND
None of these places, of course, are charging any rent,
JILL AND
Fred and George turned to each other and said together, “Wow — we’re identical!
J.K. ROWLING
All of us evolve everyday! The more we introspect and try to gather ourselves, the more rapid will b...
ACKSHAT DEOLI
life is too short to despise people who simply can't help what they've done.
JOHN GRISHAM
In the end, every man's life is but a tale told to him that's lived it, and to him alone.
TIM WILLOCKS
Pandering candidates often promise that they can make the pain go away.
GAIL COLLINS
There is no fear in the word LOVE! For LOVE does not know fear...
PHILIP T. M.
There is no fear in the word LOVE! For LOVE does not know fear...
PHILIP T. M.
Love is the answer
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Help your father
As he ages
And loses his strength
For it was he who sheltered you RASSOOL JIBRAEEL SNYMAN
I think that, people are people. That's why the way I treat the lady working in the deli who slices ...
C. JOYBELL C.
How you spend your time when you are not working or studying says everything about who you are and w...
JENNIFER ELISABETH
Puberty is a phase... fifteen years of rejection is a lifestyle. [Stanford]
SEX AND THE CITY
Oh my God, she's fashion road-kill!
SEX AND THE CITY
Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had ne...
SEX AND THE CITY
Blonde symbolises sexuality and power - it holds very different connotations. The archetypal star ha...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS
I don't think she's a lesbian. I think she just ran out of men. [Charlotte]
SEX AND THE CITY
My dad's quite a conservative person, and he brought me up to be very questioning of the commerc...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS
This obsession with celebrity culture is really unhealthy. I don't want to live my life like tha...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS
It's a slippery slope, Carrie. Without boundaries you never know what might happen. [Miranda]
SEX AND THE CITY
Middle-Age Girls Gone Wild.
SEX AND THE CITY
You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suctio...
SEX AND THE CITY
Desperate Housewives.
SEX AND THE CITY
I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.
SEX AND THE CITY
I could draw up a list of about 30 artists who I apparently sound like. From Lady Gaga, to Katy Perr...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS
'Rome' vital to HBO TV empire.
SEX AND THE CITY
Suicide is not glamorous and should not be portrayed in a glamorous light.
SEX AND THE CITY
When Charlotte really liked somebody she said their whole name. It helped her picture their future m...
SEX AND THE CITY
I hate the whole 'record your album, do your promo campaign, have a year off to write another al...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS
Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely ...
SEX AND THE CITY
You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suctio...
SEX AND THE CITY
Middle-Age Girls Gone Wild.
SEX AND THE CITY
They practically chased me with torches like I was Fuckenstein! [Samantha]
SEX AND THE CITY
I don't know. I moved to L.A. to be a rock star and a comedian, and now I'm a contributor to Cosmopo...
SEX AND THE CITY
It was a typical downtown male mix. Ten percent Wall Street, ten percent real estate, and ten percen...
SEX AND THE CITY
The only one who should have to pay for a bad relationship is the person in your next relationship. ...
SEX AND THE CITY
Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something ...
SEX AND THE CITY
I am absolutely not a roll-on-stage kind of girl! I would be totally freaked out if I didn't war...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS
When you are in the studio, you don't have anybody to feed off of; meanwhile, when you are playi...
MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS
Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down and sometimes, like now, they get you so hig...
SEX AND THE CITY
What's the big mystery? It's my vagina, not the sphinx! [Miranda]
SEX AND THE CITY
In starlit nights I saw you,
So cruelly you kissed me.
Your lips a magic world,
Your ...
ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN
Let me give you a tip on a clue to men's characters: the man who damns money has obtained it dishono...
AYN RAND
It is true that I miss intelligent companionship, but there are so few with whom I can share the thi...
JON KRAKAUER
A human heart is like a house: Every time you act evilly, a brick is removed, until it crumbles down...
CHRISTOPHER FEBVRE
Our life is a series of moments. Let them all go. Moments. All gathering towards this one.
NOW IS GOOD
Dirty hands are a sign of good clean work
MOHAMMED S. HASSAN
Time is Life and Life needs Time; Life needs Love and Love is Life. Things don't move on Time, Time ...
THANH LUU
Life can be very difficult at times. However, death is always a no brain er.
NOLAN J. VANDER HAAGEN
When you die you will not bring any possessions, but you will be accompanied by the song up into hea...
MARIA HERLIANA
Who knows until we experience it? I think that heaven and reincarnation are both ways of making us f...
CAT PATRICK
This was when I learned that you have to give up your life as you know it to get a new one: that som...
KELLY CUTRONE
When I began to wait to live I really began to wait to die.
WILLIAM SAROYAN
Life should be great rather than long.
B.R. AMBEDKAR
That was the river, this is the sea.
MIKE SCOTT
Death is the way of heaveN because life is hell
GAURAV JAIN
A life that partakes even a little of friendship, love, irony, humor, parenthood, literature, and mu...
CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS

More Dorothy Parker

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
DOROTHY PARKER
Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?
DOROTHY PARKER
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were a...
DOROTHY PARKER
Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are.
DOROTHY PARKER
I can't talk about Hollywood. It was a horror to me when I was there and it's a horror to look back ...
DOROTHY PARKER
Where's the man could ease a heart, like a satin gown?
DOROTHY PARKER
Why is it no one ever sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my ...
DOROTHY PARKER
They sicken at the calm that know the storm.
DOROTHY PARKER
Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the th...
DOROTHY PARKER
Enjoyed it! One more drink and I'd have been under the host.
DOROTHY PARKER
Her mind lives tidily, apart From cold and noise and pain, And bolts the door against her heart, Out...
DOROTHY PARKER
Well, there are always those who cannot distinguish between glitter and glamour . . . the glamour of...
DOROTHY PARKER
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
DOROTHY PARKER
When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be taken.
DOROTHY PARKER
Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill. Shame and woe to u...
DOROTHY PARKER
Gratitude - the meanest and most snivelling attribute in the world.
DOROTHY PARKER
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never ...
DOROTHY PARKER
I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things....
DOROTHY PARKER
Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.
DOROTHY PARKER
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is thing that can n...
DOROTHY PARKER
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out ...
DOROTHY PARKER
You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think.
DOROTHY PARKER
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER
The friends I made have slipped and strayed.
And who's the one that cares
A trifling lot and...
DOROTHY PARKER
DOROTHY PARKER Woman wants monogamy; / Man delights in novelty. / Love is woman's moon and sun; / Man has other for...
DOROTHY PARKER
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be ...
DOROTHY PARKER
The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core. Scratch a lover and find a foe!
DOROTHY PARKER
Woman wants monogamy; / Man delights in novelty. / Love is woman's moon and sun; / Man has other for...
DOROTHY PARKER
It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say...
DOROTHY PARKER
Penelope

In the pathway of the sun,
In the footsteps of the breeze,
Where the...
DOROTHY PARKER
All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.
DOROTHY PARKER
One more drink and I'll be under the host
DOROTHY PARKER
Four be the things I am wiser to know: Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
DOROTHY PARKER
My land is bare of chattering folk; / the clouds are low along the ridges, / and sweet's the air wit...
DOROTHY PARKER
I was fired from there, finally, for a lot of things, among them my insistence that the Immaculate C...
DOROTHY PARKER
This is on me. [suggested for her tombstone]
DOROTHY PARKER
Oh, gallant was the first love, and glittering and fine;
The second love was water, in a clear ...
DOROTHY PARKER
Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful. So you might as well live.
DOROTHY PARKER
Excuse my dust
DOROTHY PARKER
How could they tell? (upon hearing that President Coolidge had died)
DOROTHY PARKER
With the crown of thorns I wear, why should I be bothered with a prick like you?
DOROTHY PARKER
His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
DOROTHY PARKER
Look at him, a rhinestone in the rough.
DOROTHY PARKER
The moon's turned black; For I love him, and He didn't love back
DOROTHY PARKER
tomorrow's gone-we'll have tonight!
DOROTHY PARKER
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
DOROTHY PARKER
She (Katherine Hepburn) runs the gamut of emotions from A to B
DOROTHY PARKER
I can't write five words but that I change seven.
DOROTHY PARKER
They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
DOROTHY PARKER
"The House Beautiful" is the play lousy
DOROTHY PARKER
So, you're the man who can't spell 'fuck.'"
Dorothy Parker to Norman Mailer after publishers h...
DOROTHY PARKER
The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back.
DOROTHY PARKER
By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing.
And he vows his passion is,
...
DOROTHY PARKER
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
DOROTHY PARKER
Some men break your heart in two,
Some men fawn and flatter,
Some men never look at you; DOROTHY PARKER
Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
DOROTHY PARKER
He Robert Benchley and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.
DOROTHY PARKER
It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.
DOROTHY PARKER
His voice was intimate as the rustle of sheets.
DOROTHY PARKER
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER
Razors pain you; rivers are damp; acids stain you; and drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; nooses...
DOROTHY PARKER
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone
DOROTHY PARKER
Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses.
DOROTHY PARKER
If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
DOROTHY PARKER
Travel, trouble, music, art,
A kiss, a frock, a rhyme -
I never said they feed my heart, DOROTHY PARKER
Art is a form of catharsis.
DOROTHY PARKER
I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER
Résumé
Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
And drugs cau...
DOROTHY PARKER
This book is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.
DOROTHY PARKER
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it...
DOROTHY PARKER
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, may be prolonged to the point where it ceases to exci...
DOROTHY PARKER
If all the girls at Brandeis were laid end-to-end, I wouldn't be surprised
DOROTHY PARKER
Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship
DOROTHY PARKER
Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (B...
DOROTHY PARKER
Lips that taste of tears, they say/ Are the best for kissing.
DOROTHY PARKER
By the time you swear you are his, shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is infinite and un...
DOROTHY PARKER
Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because nobody looks for them.
DOROTHY PARKER
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never g...
DOROTHY PARKER
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
DOROTHY PARKER
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
DOROTHY PARKER
Excuse my dust.
DOROTHY PARKER
There must be courage; there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is enca...
DOROTHY PARKER
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
DOROTHY PARKER
[We look like] a road company of the Last Supper.
DOROTHY PARKER
This is on me.
DOROTHY PARKER
Authors and actors and artists and such - Never know nothing, and never know much
DOROTHY PARKER
It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER
I don't know," she said. "We used to squabble a lot when we were going together and then engaged and...
DOROTHY PARKER
This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.
DOROTHY PARKER
Somebody was using the pencil.
DOROTHY PARKER
If, with the literate, I am/ Impelled to try an epigram,/ I never seek to take the credit;/ We all a...
DOROTHY PARKER
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
DOROTHY PARKER
They sicken of the calm, who know the storm
DOROTHY PARKER
The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core. Scratch a lover and find a foe!
DOROTHY PARKER
This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.
DOROTHY PARKER
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
DOROTHY PARKER
Excuse me, everybody, I have to go to the bathroom. I really have to telephone, but I'm too embarras...
DOROTHY PARKER
She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.
DOROTHY PARKER
There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
DOROTHY PARKER
Money is only congealed snow.
DOROTHY PARKER
I never see that prettiest thing - / A cherry bough gone white with Spring - / But what I think, 'Ho...
DOROTHY PARKER
One more drink and I'd have been under the host.
DOROTHY PARKER
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
a medley of extemporanea,
And love is a thing that c...
DOROTHY PARKER
I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER
Oh, seek, my love, your newer way;
I'll not be left in sorrow.
So long as I have yesterday...
DOROTHY PARKER
Inventory:

"Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend...
DOROTHY PARKER
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do the...
DOROTHY PARKER
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER
If I didn't care for fun and such,
I'd probably amount to much.
But I shall stay the way I...
DOROTHY PARKER
He'd have given me rolling lands,
Houses of marble, and billowing farms,
Pearls, to trickle ...
DOROTHY PARKER
They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm.
DOROTHY PARKER
And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned; The calmer, I, to see it tru...
DOROTHY PARKER
Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.
DOROTHY PARKER
He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.
DOROTHY PARKER
Sorrow is tranquillity remembered in emotion.
DOROTHY PARKER
Men don't like nobility in woman. Not any men. I suppose it is because the men like to have the cop...
DOROTHY PARKER
It's not the tragedies that kill us, it's the messes.
DOROTHY PARKER
I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
afte...
DOROTHY PARKER
If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit suprised.
DOROTHY PARKER
The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories ...
DOROTHY PARKER
Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, but I hate Spring.
DOROTHY PARKER
Oh, it is sure as it is sad
That any lad is every lad,
And what's a girl, to dare implore DOROTHY PARKER
Yet, as only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night.
DOROTHY PARKER
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
DOROTHY PARKER
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common
DOROTHY PARKER
You can drag a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
DOROTHY PARKER
I am never going to be famous...I do not do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails,...
DOROTHY PARKER
Men seldom make passes At girls who wear glasses
DOROTHY PARKER
Her mind lives tidily, apart/ From cold and noise and pain,/ And bolts the door against her heart,/ ...
DOROTHY PARKER
If you want to see what God thinks of money, just look at all the people He gave it to.
DOROTHY PARKER
Too fucking busy, and vice versa. [Reply to her editor who was bugging her for her belated work whil...
DOROTHY PARKER
I suppose that now if I ever wrote a play about myself I'd be sued for plagiarism
DOROTHY PARKER
"Cheque enclosed" are the two most beautiful words in the English language
DOROTHY PARKER
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be a darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER
She looks as new as a peeled egg
DOROTHY PARKER
She looks like something that would eat its young
DOROTHY PARKER
That would be a good thing for them to carve on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it ...
DOROTHY PARKER
I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule...
DOROTHY PARKER
People are more fun than any body
DOROTHY PARKER
If all the girls who attended the Harvard-Yale game were laid end to end, I wouldn't be surprised
DOROTHY PARKER
Constant use will not wear ragged the fabric of friendship.
DOROTHY PARKER
I'd like to have money. And I'd like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope th...
DOROTHY PARKER
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
DOROTHY PARKER
Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.
DOROTHY PARKER
I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know...
DOROTHY PARKER
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER
I hate writing, I love having written.
DOROTHY PARKER
You can't do four movies and be good to everybody and be flying all night and shooting all day with ...
DOROTHY PARKER
You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
DOROTHY PARKER
Sometimes I think I'll give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on a stove and moan al...
DOROTHY PARKER
But I don't give up; I forget why not.
DOROTHY PARKER
I shudder at the thought of men....
I'm due to fall in love again
DOROTHY PARKER
There's little in taking or giving
There's little in water or wine
This living, this livin...
DOROTHY PARKER
Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a poi...
DOROTHY PARKER
All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't si...
DOROTHY PARKER
I never thought that heav'n would lose its blue
And sullen storm-clouds mask the gentle sky; DOROTHY PARKER
There's a helluva distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply...
DOROTHY PARKER
They laid their hands upon my head,
They stroked my cheek and brow;
And time could heal a hu...
DOROTHY PARKER
I don't care what anybody says about me as long as it isn't true.
DOROTHY PARKER
Gratitude -- the meanest and most sniveling attribute in the world.
DOROTHY PARKER
By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infi...
DOROTHY PARKER
I shall stay the way I am because I do not give a damn.
DOROTHY PARKER
Every year, back come Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground al...
DOROTHY PARKER
Scratch a lover, and find a foe.
DOROTHY PARKER
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it wa...
DOROTHY PARKER
I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER
A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
DOROTHY PARKER
The two most beautiful words in the English language are: Check Enclosed.
DOROTHY PARKER
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out ...
DOROTHY PARKER
The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
DOROTHY PARKER
My land is bare of chattering folk;
the clouds are low along the ridges,
and sweet's the air...
DOROTHY PARKER
One more drink and I'll be under the host.
DOROTHY PARKER
Scratch an actor - and you'll find an actress.
DOROTHY PARKER
I never see that prettiest thing-
A cherry bough gone white with Spring-
But what I think,...
DOROTHY PARKER
Excuse me, everybody, I have to go to the bathroom. I really have to telephone, but I'm too embarras...
DOROTHY PARKER
That would be a good thing for them to carve on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it ...
DOROTHY PARKER
A list of authors who have made themselves most beloved and therefore, most comfortable financially,...
DOROTHY PARKER
I was fired from there, finally, for a lot of things, among them my insistence that the Immaculate C...
DOROTHY PARKER
They sicken of the calm, who know the storm
DOROTHY PARKER
Once when I was young and true,
Someone left me sad-
Broke my brittle heart in two;
And ...
DOROTHY PARKER
Somebody was using the pencil.
DOROTHY PARKER
A list of authors who have made themselves most beloved and therefore, most comfortable financially,...
DOROTHY PARKER
If, with the literate, I am/ Impelled to try an epigram,/ I never seek to take the credit;/ We all a...
DOROTHY PARKER
And if my heart be scarred and burned,
The safer, I, for all I learned.
DOROTHY PARKER
[On Oscar Wilde:]

"If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram, DOROTHY PARKER
You think You're frightening me with Your hell, don't You? You think Your hell is worse than mine.
DOROTHY PARKER
That woman speaks eight languages and can't say no in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER
I wish I could drink like a lady / I can take one or two at the most / Three and I'm under the table...
DOROTHY PARKER
Byron and Shelley and Keats/ Were a trio of lyrical treats.
DOROTHY PARKER
I can't talk about Hollywood. It was a horror to me when I was there and it's a horror to look back ...
DOROTHY PARKER
I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. ...
DOROTHY PARKER
There must be courage; there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is enca...
DOROTHY PARKER
Men don't like nobility in woman. Not any men. I suppose it is because the men like to have the copy...
DOROTHY PARKER
Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow.
DOROTHY PARKER
. . . as for helping me in the outside world, the Convent taught me only that if you spit on a penci...
DOROTHY PARKER
And there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the r...
DOROTHY PARKER
I misremember who first was cruel enough to nurture the cocktail party into life. But perhaps it wou...
DOROTHY PARKER
That woman speaks 18 languages and can't say "No" in any of them
DOROTHY PARKER